


Princess (Discontinued)

by Emimilykity



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, After End, Blow Jobs, Bodily Functions, Childbirth, Cunnilingus, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Let me know if you want to take it over, Married Couple, Masturbation, Morning Sickness, My First Fanfic, Newborn Baby, Oral Sex, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Realistic Approach, Romance, Sexual Frustration, Smut, Squirting, Wet Dream, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2018-11-11 00:15:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 70,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11137452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emimilykity/pseuds/Emimilykity
Summary: A fluffy, romantic, and smutty fic about your pregnancy with your husband, Zen. And, now with a new addition to your family, a fic that goes through your life as brand new parents.





	1. The Decision

**Author's Note:**

> Both you and Zen have managed to lose your clothes before making it to the bedroom, so keep in mind you're just as naked as he is.

“Oh, my god," Zen mutters in heavy breath, his voice low and almost growling. “Princess, I can’t help but be wild with you.”

His lips continue to passionately crash into yours; his mouth seeming to take preference of smothering your lower lip. One of his hands entangles itself into your hair as the other hand roughly cups and squeezes your bare ass, pushing your pelvis further against his hardening member. You continue to slowly shuffle backwards until the backs of your legs hit the side of the bed, and Zen shifts his hand from your buttocks to the back of your thigh, lifting you up onto the edge. Your hands grip onto one of his muscular shoulders and the back of his neck to keep yourself upright as you can’t bear to break the kiss. He traces his tongue along your lower lip, impatiently waiting for access to play with your own. Soft moans and heavy breathing fill the dimly lit room as you part your lips for him, twirling and flicking your tongue around his before pressing your lips back onto his.

Zen leans into you, sliding the hand previously gripping your thigh up your back to press your waist firmly against his body as the other continues to gently grip the hair closest to your scalp. You bring both your knees up, embracing his hips with your thighs so his erection can rest against the folds between your lowest lips. Zen lets out a soft groan as he feels your arousal pool on the underside of his cock, making his heart pound faster and hunger for you grow stronger. Each beat of his heart could now not only be felt against your chest, but against your sex as blood pulses through his now fully engorged member. Every throb sends electric waves through you, causing a familiar small ache to take root, and you can’t help but let his excitement become your own. A small “Zen” escapes your lips as you part them to entwine your tongue with his again.

Hearing your heated, but delicate voice sends Zen’s excitement over the edge and he begins to slowly grind his hips against yours; the head followed by the shaft of his penis rubbing over your clit. He tilts your head to the side and begins planting tender kisses from your collarbone to up along your neck. A sweet little gasp floats from your lungs as the damp patches his hot lips leave behind begin to cool from the air. Zen’s breathing shudders and slightly quickens as the scent of your pheromones and shampoo mixing envelops his senses and intoxicates him. He drags the tip of his tongue lightly across the skin leading to the curve between your neck and shoulder, and gently bites and sucks at the sensitive skin there. His warm breath near your ear sends chills shimmying down your spine, stretching to the very tips of your toes. You run your fingers through his unbound hair and find your breathing is now matching his. His tender kisses and the slow pace of his thrusts only causes the ache within you to root itself even deeper. You want the beast that’s basking in your presence and feasting on a fraction of all you have to offer to know your desires.

“I-ah.. c-can’t take it a-anymore…” you muster through your cute moans and heavy breathing, stuttering with each kiss landing on your skin. “I-I need you in-ah.. inside me.”

Zen makes no hesitation as his need for you has also reached its peak, and he swiftly unravels his hand from your hair and reaches for the drawer containing the condoms. His hand fumbles around in the drawer, searching for a foil packet as he continues to kiss down to your perked breast. After a few brief moments of unsuccessfully finding the package, he regretfully pauses his lips’ contact with your flushed skin to turn his head and help his hand search with his eyes. You loosen your embrace on his hips and release your hands from his shoulder and hair so he can look through the drawer with greater ease. His attention returns to you for a few brief seconds.

“Only for a moment, Princess," Zen smiles softly as he uses his free hand to gently run the backs of his fingers down the side of your cheek before placing a loving kiss onto your lips.

He turns back to the drawer and kneels down, pushing the contents around. You scoot your butt further up onto the bed to make yourself more comfortable as you patiently, but impatiently wait. A smile adorns your lips as you admire how his silvery hair still shines in this dim light; how the sweat beading off his back only makes his skin glow brighter and muscles appear more defined; how Zen is such an incredible being. You ask yourself for probably the millionth time how you not only won the heart of such a handsome man, but of such a caring and loving man. Your thoughts break away when you hear him mumbling to himself as he begins to frantically pull things out of the drawer.

“You’ve gotta be kidding! This is a joke, right?” Zen exclaims in a hushed tone as he starts looking under the bed.

“What’s the matter?” you question as you lean on your side to watch his panicked form scanning every area around the nightstand and the bed.

Zen sits up on his knees so he is face to face with you. He lets out a long sigh and scratches his head; his ruby eyes peer at you with sadness and frustration as all signs of arousal dissipate from the atmosphere.

“There’s no condoms. I could have sworn I bought some just last week. I didn’t realize we went through them that fast," he chuckles, giving you a quick wink as he raises himself up next to you on the bed.

You sit up and crawl behind Zen, weaving your arms delicately under his to wrap around his sturdy chest as you nuzzle your face into his neck. His scent permeates your sinuses with every breath you take in; masculine, herbal overtones finished with lavender and musked over with sweat. Your previous thoughts return and swim amongst the fragrance swirling about in your mind. You recall all the times your knight scaled impossible mountains and crossed treacherous seas for you just to earn the satisfaction of seeing a smile meant only for him. He still continues to do all he can to ensure your happiness in your marriage to him, and you wish to do more for him, if not just as much as he does for you. _This mishap might actually be the perfect opportunity for me to return the favor, even if it’s minor in comparison to all he’s done._ You remove your arms from around him and rest your palms on the tops of your thighs, leaning your face around his shoulder to connect your eyes to his.

“I can go get some at the convenience store down the street, if you want. It’ll only take 10 minutes and I’ll be sure to hurry!” you offer sweetly as you start to climb off the bed to get dressed.

“No, stay. It’s too late for such a cute lady to be wandering the streets," he grins as he grabs your wrist and pulls you into him, scooping you up to set you sideways in his lap. “In any case, I should be the one to go. A princess shouldn’t even have to lift a finger.”

You giggle as you lift several of your fingers to lace with Zen’s, smirking up at him to mock his previous statement. He wraps his free hand around your shoulder and cradles you into his chest. You close your eyes and relax at the rise and fall of his chest and steady rhythm of his heartbeat. In the few silent moments of falling into this zen-like state, you’re startled out of it as you feel the thumping in his chest increase in pace. You peer up in an attempt to share contact with his eyes only to find them glancing around the lower half of the room, a nervous expression plastered on his face. Sensing you’ve caught on to his change in behavior, he speaks before you can even open your mouth to let him know of your concern.

“There’s something I’d like to talk to you about anyway," he trails off before tilting his head to finally bring his gaze to yours.

His look of nervousness is replaced by a look of adoration as soon as he sees the eyes of the one he loves so dearly filled with love and worry for him. You ease a little at the soft smile forming on his well-structured face. He unties his fingers from yours and moves them to your forehead, gently brushing strands of hair away from your face. You close your eyes as he places a loving kiss above your hairline, holding it for a second or two before retracting back. His eyes divert to the hair wrapped around his finger, carefully twirling it and memorizing the color and silky texture gliding between his finger and thumb.

“It’s actually been on my mind for quite some time now. I’ve just been struggling with how to convey my feelings about it to you. I feel quite silly saying that considering that’s something I do every day for a living," he begins in a soothing tone, finishing with an embarrassed chuckle as a pinkish hue paints across his cheeks.

Zen drops your hair from his fingers and moves his hand to cup your face, meeting your eyes with his once again. He pauses for a moment to soak in your beauty, breathing your heavenly aroma with a long breath in so it sears itself deeply in his mind before letting words slip from his lips again.

“I would love to become a father, if you’ll have my child," his voice so delicate as you see all his love for you pool in his eyes, threatening to spill over. “I’d love to be the father my father never was; and to have the chance to create the family I’ve always longed for.”

Your breath hitches as happiness begins to swell in your chest then radiate to your face and limbs, causing them to tingle. You find your own eyes welling, and his embrace on you tightens as his thumb moves to wipe away the love that is slowly streaking down the side of your cheek. You’re so happy he brought his desires to your attention. The ache that’s emerged within you the past couple years still presents itself from the activities earlier in the evening. The fear that’s been festering at the back of your mind swiftly exits your body in the exhale of the breath you’ve been holding in; the fear that Zen might possibly not want children due to his traumatic upbringing all those years ago. A smile creeps up along your face as you realize that the ache that was growing within you could now begin to sprout and bloom. You move your hand over Zen’s fluttering heart so your words could hopefully reach him to the core at an expedited rate.

“Hyun, I’d love to be the mother of your child. You have no idea how long I’ve desired to," your tone soft and shaky as you witness his love for you spill from his eyes, causing even more of your own tears to run against his hand and trickle onto his chest.

His hand moves to under your chin as he lifts your face to his, gently pressing his lips to yours as his tears run onto your chin. The hand on your shoulder slides to your waist and pulls your torso flat against his body, squeezing your flesh lightly. Zen shifts the hand under your chin to the back of your head to hold you into his kiss as he slowly rotates his body over yours to lay your back against the bed. He breaks the kiss to shift the angle of your body on the bed by 90 degrees, scooping your legs up at the bend in your knees with one arm as the other moves down from the back of your head to wrap under your back.

Your body is placed back down with immense care, your head now cradled by a pillow and your feet pointing towards the foot of the bed. Zen slides his body up next to yours, resting on one of his elbows as his free hand fixes the hair on your face once again. His touch is feather soft on your skin as he brings his face closer to yours, his sparkling eyes locking with your gaze. A smile appears across your face the same time it does his, only further solidifying the decision you both agreed to moments earlier. Quiet words spoken very tenderly from Zen’s lips travel to your ears.

“I’m ready whenever you are, ____, my princess.”

Placing your hand over the one lovingly caressing your face, you nod.


	2. The Creation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Zen make the baby. Simple as that. Hopefully detailed enough for you to picture each thing without trying to imagine how you got to the next step. But also hopefully not too detailed that it distracts from the flow. I might fix things here and there if I suddenly think of something more fitting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to try to keep it romantic and heartfelt since making a life is a very emotional and beautiful thing, but I also know Zen is a wolf at night so it's a little difficult keeping himself leashed. Especially when you're so irresistible to begin with.  
> Plus from personal experience, once you reach that certain point, it's hard to contain yourself sometimes. lol

With the nod of your head, Zen closes the small gap between your faces and gently presses his lips to yours. He withdraws for a few brief moments to admire you with sincere eyes before fluttering them shut as he lowers his head back down to place several slow, whisper soft kisses onto your lips. The sensation sends tingles trilling all throughout your body, raising the hairs on your arms and heating your cheeks to a rosy hue. You release your grasp on the hand cupping your cheek and lift your hands to wrap behind his neck, pulling him in to deepen the kiss. Your leg furthest from Zen bends up then falls to the side, beckoning the now seemingly tame beast to come nearer. Sensing arousal gathering in the atmosphere again, Zen shifts his body to hover slightly over you by bringing a leg to nestle between yours. Still resting on his elbow, the hand cupping your cheek slides to the top of your head before its fingers comb down through your hair as it makes its way behind your head; the hair near your scalp grasped carefully as to not cause any discomfort. 

A muffled moan is seduced from your lungs and hums against the lips that caress yours so tenderly. The sweet noises you emit only entice Zen to explore more of the silken skin beneath him. He relaxes his grip on your hair and drifts his hand down towards your breast; his fingers gliding ever so lightly past your neck and along your collarbone before finally grazing over the sensitive complexion surrounding your nipple. Chills shoot through to your core once again as he takes the supple flesh into his palm and brings his forefinger and thumb around your now perked bud, pinching gently as he rolls it between his fingers. A gasp slips from you, breaking the seal of the kiss and Zen uses the opportunity to trail kisses to the breast in need of attention; descending from your chin, to your jaw, to the lobe of your ear, down your neck, and over your clavicle, until his lips meet what they’ve searched for. You watch him with a lidded gaze as his tongue encircles your nipple before engulfing it with his lips, his tongue flicking the tip as he sucks and kisses the delicate skin. 

The sensation causes you to whimper and squirm in pleasure, entangling your fingers into Zen’s long locks as the arch of your back lifts slightly off the bed with your hips rolling to follow the movement through. You can feel his cock swell with heat as it stiffens, twitching against your thigh each time your body involuntarily writhes into him. A hungry growl vibrates within his chest and throat, your movements coaxing his hips to press and slowly rock forward then back repeatedly against your thigh to stimulate his growing urge. He removes the hand teasing your breast and drags the tips of its fingers, leading them towards your pubic region; inching down your stomach and tickling over your hip bone before brushing the delicate skin of your mound. His fingers continue to slide down until they feel the plump lips of your sex, the middle finger slipping into the crease to analyze how much you yearn for him. 

The long finger firmly running up and down your slit prods at your entrance, making short, circular motions to gather your arousal and lubricate the surrounding areas. A second finger, his ring finger, joins in and coats itself in your juices. Your breath picks up pace and heavily exits your parted lips in a jagged rhythm. Zen raises himself up onto the ball of his hand as his mouth pops off your breast and kisses its way through the shallow valley leading to your other breast. His tongue and lips introduce themselves to the new teat in the same fashion, paying as equal attention to it as they did to the other. The tips of the fingers now slick with your nectar slide up to loosely trap your clit between them, teasingly nudging it side to side a few times before they flee back towards your entrance. The fingers follow the ‘C’ shape of the hand they’re attached to and push themselves past the first knuckle into your vagina, then retract back out before exploring even deeper. They press upwards toward the ceiling, pinpointing the highly sensitive patch of nerves each time they plunge in and partially withdraw themselves. A wave of heat floods your face from the combined sensations of Zen’s mouth around your breast and his fingers firmly curling upwards inside of you. An urge suddenly overcomes you and a helpless moan falls from your lips. 

“Hyun…” you barely emit loud enough for him to hear, his passionate gaze flicking up to meet yours at the sweet mention of his real name. 

He pauses his movements on the lower half of your body, his hips halting against your thigh and fingers removing themselves from inside you, his hand still resting over your mound. He kisses your breast one last time, not breaking contact with your eyes as you unwind your hands from his hair, bringing them around to cup his jaw. 

“I want to kiss you," floats out of you in a breathy whisper, a soft, ascending curve formed with your lips. 

Zen twinkles back at you and readjusts himself so his face is parallel with yours, placing both hands on either side of your shoulders. In a smooth dip of his head, he takes your lower lip between his lips and applies gentle pressure, alternating between your lower and upper lip each time his slowly peel away from yours. Your hands slide to his broad shoulders as you bend the leg Zen is straddling outwards, causing him to shift his leg in to accompany his other. He brings himself to rest on his forearms as he nestles his hips into yours, the tops of his thighs pushing up against the backs of yours. Your knees come up to cradle his form, allowing his erection to rest against your soaked folds. You begin to gyrate against his hardened member, eliciting a low groan from Zen as he nips your lower lip. He steadily thrusts against you, following the roll of your hips, your arousal lubricating every bit of skin it touches. Your fingernails graze the skin of his shoulders as they curl up into your fists, quiet moans escaping your parted lips and finding refuge in Zen’s ears. 

His breath hitches at your cute noises and shudders past his lips to mingle with your breath. He interrupts his frenzy of kisses and glittering, garnet eyes peer through you as if attempting to speak to your soul. You return his gaze as though you understand what his is saying and slip one of your hands between your bodies, lightly running your thumb and fingers around the upper half of his cock. The taut skin is velvet soft to the touch; the small ridge of a vein occasionally bulging through the smoothness of his shaft. Your fingers liberally spread the accumulated juices all along his stiffened flesh and around the sensitive head, earning a soft moan from Zen. Once you’re certain it’s thoroughly slick, you place it down at your entrance, removing your hand once his member is held in place by his hips. You return your hand to his shoulder and use your other hand to cup his cheek, giving him a knowing look with dewy eyes that you are ready. 

Zen brushes your cheek with the backs of his undirtied fingers before they make their way behind your head. A delicate smile forms on his lips before he leans down to meet them with yours, your hands moving to behind his neck. His cock enters you in a slow thrust, the forward rock of his hips burying him to the hilt. The hot air from Zen’s lungs blows out his nose and warms your cheek, his moan dancing with yours the short few seconds it emerges. Strong tingling sensations surge through your sex and shiver up your spine, the feeling of your spongy walls stretching around his bare girth entirely new. His hips pull backward just enough to expose his shaft, keeping the head submerged within you, and then push forward in a swooping motion once again to sheath himself into your warmth. The thrusts are slow and steady, taking their time to acclimate you to his length’s presence. 

Zen breaks the kiss to look at your face and admire the sweet expression painted on it. The way your reddened lips part, the blush staining your cheeks and nose, and your gorgeous eyes fluttering open to gaze into his sets flames roaring in his chest. He can’t contain himself with you looking at him that way. 

“___, you are so beautiful," he whispers lovingly as his hand moves from behind your head to caress your cheek, his thumb gently stroking across it. “I can’t believe I get to be this close to you.” 

Your heart races at his words and emotions begin to well within you. 

“I can’t imagine my life without you, Hyun," you smile as tears threaten to fill your eyes. 

“You make me so, so happy," Zen coos in return, his forehead leaning down to rest against yours. 

With a slight tilt of his head, his lips meet yours again, covering your mouth with passionate kisses. A tempo similar to that of a clock is adopted by the thrusts into you, the movement still fluid as it draws more adorable moans from you. Zen’s tongue slides along the part in your lips and you eagerly entwine your tongue with his, twirling and flicking it around a few times before closing your mouths back together; heavy breaths mingling each time your tongues come out to play. His hand on your cheek moves to behind your neck while his other slides to the arch in your back, pulling you close. The thrusts halt with him remaining inside you and his lips come off of yours. 

“Wrap your legs around me and hold tight," Zen pants, holding your head into the crook of his neck as he keeps you flush against his body. 

You do as he says, wrapping your legs around his waist and moving your grip to between his shoulders, one hand staying close to his neck. He shifts his weight back onto his knees, his well-toned abs bringing you upright with ease as his weight continues to shift onto his hip to free his legs. He crosses his legs in front of him and settles you into his lap, never separating himself from your warmth. You both relax your arms just enough to be able to be face to face again and dive for each other’s lips the moment they’re visible. You begin to rock your hips at the same pace as before the position change, and he moves his hands to your hips. 

The way his length rubs against your cervix showers the two of you in pleasure, tempting Zen to move with you. He follows your rocking rhythm and you gasp at the sudden change in sensation; the head of his cock now rubbing firmly against your g-spot each time it slides back up to your cervix while the area above his penis massages your clit with each thrust. You find it difficult to continue your kisses as pleasure begins to overwhelm you and increase your need to bring air into your lungs. Your heavy breathing fills the faintly lit room as your sweet moans echo in Zen’s ears, making his engorged member involuntarily twitch and urging him to move faster. The feeling of his erection jumping inside of you jolts ripples of excitement through you, bringing on the familiar swelling sensation of an impending orgasm. Your walls start to squeeze around him somewhat more tightly and a guttural groan hums against your jaw as he places kisses all along it as though he is a famished wolf. 

His fingers dig into your hips and his strong arms rock them for you to match his quickened rate. The moans leaving you reverberate throughout the room as the new pace converges the pleasurable ripples into a wave. Zen’s name falls from your lips, the syllable manifesting as multiple breathy sounds. 

“H-Hy...un…” you moan in an almost indiscernible manner, luring his lips to move back to yours. 

Your beautiful noises heighten Zen’s senses and intensify the pleasant sensations surrounding his cock, building up his desire for release like a dormant volcano. An electric tingling pulses through the flesh clenching around his hardened member and the wave flowing through you begins to crest. You break your lips from his and look into his eyes, his gaze lidded like yours. 

“H-Hyun.. You-You’re going to ma-make me come…” you manage to stutter out through your heavy breathing and moans. 

Zen throbs inside of you, his desires threatening to burst from him. 

“I-It’s okay, y-you can…” he breathes, kissing your lips before burying his face in your neck as he screws his eyes shut. 

His thrusts continue, driving an alluring cry from your lungs as your climax washes over you; Zen erupting the second your warmth firmly clamps around him. You hear his breath hiss inward then exhale out in short, quivering puffs into your ear as he quakes beneath you. He moves a hand to the arch of your back and the other to the back of your neck, holding you to him as close as he possibly can, slowly stilling his thrusts. Milky fluid gushes from his cock with each throb and thoroughly coats the back of your spasming walls; the contractions coaxing it upwards into your womb. You cling to Zen’s form as your chests shudder against one another, seeking to calm in the comfort of the rise and fall of the other. His arms squeeze around you, holding you into a tight embrace. 

“I love you so much, ___," Zen whispers, a slight tremble in his voice. 

Love floods into your eyes and you loosen your arms from around his shoulders, drifting both of your hands to rest on his cheeks as you lean back enough to scan his features. 

“I love you too; so very much," you beam, your tears spilling over as a happy burst of air hitches your words. 

Tears slip down the backs of your hands as Zen’s eyes crease from the grin forming across his face. He pulls you into a loving kiss as you wrap yourself around him soundly once more. His body pushes forward, bringing him to his knees as he bends to lay you down against the pillows again. You unravel yourself from around him as he withdraws his softening flesh from within you. Zen slides his hands from underneath you and shifts his weight onto his side, facing you as he rests on his shoulder. He outstretches the arm he’s laying on and craving his warmth, you roll into his chest, your neck cradled by his bicep. His free arm blankets over your waist and his hand comes to your back to caress you into him. Your knee wedges its way between his legs for comfort as you place one hand over his steadily beating heart and the other below your belly button. 

The bedroom grows almost void of sound as you both lie in contentment, listening to the peaceful draw and release of breath from the other. Zen presses his lips softly into your hair, taking his time with each kiss down the top of your head until his ear hits his pillow. The hand on your back moves up to stroke your hair, willing you to close your eyes. Your mind wanders down to the hand resting over your womb, silently wishing over and over that the proof of your love for one another will bloom as your knight’s soothing breath and fingers running through your hair lull you to sleep. 


	3. The Elation- Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part one of what would have been an incredibly long chapter. Maybe a little angst? I don't know! I haven't creatively written since I was a freshman in high school nearly 10 years ago XD  
> I'm also posting part 2 today just a few minutes after since there's some things I want to tidy up. Enjoy!

“Your total comes out to 5,500 won," the cashier smiles as you click open your wallet. 

Two weeks have passed since the night you and Zen expressed your desires to become parents. The morning after the most intimate moment of your life, you began researching everything you needed to know about becoming pregnant; how long you’d have to wait before testing, when you’d begin to feel symptoms, and anything regarding the best chances for ensuring conception. During breakfast, you read the articles aloud so Zen could learn what he needed to know about becoming a father. A smirk came across your face as you came across a part that would for sure get your husband howling, and you jumped on the opportunity to twist the wording since he was long overdue for good teasing. 

“For best chances of conception, have sex at least three times daily during ovulation," you blurted out just as he took a sip of his water. 

The pearly white skin of his face turned nearly the same color of his deep, red irises, and you’re still not certain whether it was from him blushing or from him fitfully coughing on his drink. In any case, Zen had a way of making even the most embarrassing things seem attractive, and you couldn’t help but blush and giggle at his loss of composure. Sex wasn’t something you necessarily needed to do more than once daily, but the lustful glint in his eyes and the low, sensual tone of his voice when the beast came out was something you couldn’t resist. You yearned for him the moment the sunlight bled through the window to the moment he came home to scoop you up into his arms and whisk you off back into the bedroom. 

“Have a good rest of your day, miss!” the cashier bids as they hand you your receipt. 

“Thank you! You too!” you chirp, gathering your bag of goods into your hand. 

As soon as your foot hits the pavement outside of the store, your feet move the fastest they’ve ever ran, making your above the knee skirt flow beautifully in the wind. Anxiety turned those two weeks into the longest you’ve ever experienced and there was no time to waste; you needed to find out if you were pregnant right this moment. The apartment you and Zen share is conveniently located only two rights and a left away from the cluster of businesses trailing into town, making your sprint back from the 1,000 won store just a mere few minutes. You make sure to keep your feet picked up to avoid tripping on the cobbled sidewalk stretching along your street before swinging yourself around the short fence wall outside of your home. The bag formerly gripped in your hand skids up to the door as you fumble with your purse to get the keys to the door. You unlock the door and swing it open, snatching the bag up as you rush inside before kicking the door shut behind you. Several pink boxes slip through a hole shredded into the plastic bag and litter the living room floor. You scoop up the bag from the bottom to prevent any more from falling out as you continue to book it to the bathroom. 

Inside the bathroom, you plop the bag onto the ground and pull out one of the boxes, skimming through the directions on the back before setting it on the counter near the toilet. The instructions seem simple enough; urinate into a disposable cup, then use the pipette to drip 4 drops of your urine into the round well of the test. Grabbing a small paper cup from the mirrored cabinet above the sink, you hurriedly strip your lower half of your skirt so it doesn’t get in the way and shuffle over to the toilet as your underwear remain lassoed around your ankles. You sit down and hold the cup between your legs, taking deep breaths to try to relax yourself enough to get a stream flowing. The sound of urine trickling into water signals you to shift the cup backwards, and you fill the cup about ¼ of the way before removing it from beneath you to set on the counter. While you let the rest of your pent up fluids free, you grab the packaged kit and open it up, sliding out the small pipette and plastic strip into your hand. You hold the strip between your thumb and forefinger as the same fingers on the other hand grip the pipette. Squeezing the air out of the pipette you dip it into the cup of pee and extract enough to fill the bulb before hovering it over the pregnancy test. 

“One.. two… three, four," you mouth as you carefully count the drops, placing the dropper into the cup once you’re done. 

You study the strip as the moisture soaks its way across it, exposing a fuschia line halfway through at the ‘C’ marking. Your heartbeat pounds away in your head as your eyes continue to follow the discoloration all the way to the ‘T’. The bathroom falls still as you hold your breath and shut your eyes out of unbearable anticipation. Ten seconds pass by and to calm your nerves, you steadily let out your breath and count to 50 in your mind. At 50, you open your eyes and flick them back to the test. You squint really hard at it, hold it close and far away, tilt it at different angles, but it makes no difference. A second line does not appear. 

Your brows furrow and your mouth slants in confusion. _How could the test possibly say no?_ _I’ve waited two weeks for this moment and today is the day my menstrual cycle is supposed to start, so why are the results so disappointing? It’s possible the test could be showing a false negative from what I’ve researched._ With that in mind, you set the test onto the counter and clean yourself up, flushing the toilet as you stand to slide your underwear back in place. You pull out another container from the bag and open it up, repeating what you did to the first test on the new one, but this time keeping it flat on the counter. The fluid slowly spreads across it, past the ‘C’ and the ‘T’, and shows no sign of a different result. _Are cheap tests really not that reliable even though the package says it’s more than 99% accurate?_ You flip the box over and thoroughly read the instructions this time. ‘For most accurate results, test in the morning when HCG levels are the highest.’ 

"Ugh," you sigh, dropping the box back onto the counter. 

You turn on the sink and rinse the contents of the cup down the drain, throwing the empty containers into the trash can by the door. The negative tests stare up at you as you lather and rinse your hands with the cool water. The idea of having to wait another 12 hours made your heart sink as if it were strapped to a cement block and thrown over a bridge. You glance back down at the tests on the counter, and dread begins to swirl in your stomach.  _ What if I’m really not pregnant?  _ You gaze forward into the mirror, your thoughts eating away at your heart like hungry eels until the sound of swift footsteps and the voice of your favorite person rounds the corner. 

“Babe, I’m home! What’s my princess doing in here?” Zen questions cheerfully as his handsomely dressed frame leans through the doorway. “Oh! I see I have one less thing to remove later.” 

He flashes you a wink and a charming grin, but all you can muster as you turn to him is a disheartened smile beneath pained eyes. Zen’s face falls at your response and he immediately rushes into the bathroom to embrace you; a hand coming to your back, pressing your waist into him as the other comes to your face. 

“___, what’s wrong?” he probes as he tilts your chin up with his index finger so your eyes can meet his. 

You gaze up at him, uncertain of how to put your thoughts and emotions into words. His eyes dart away from yours to the plastic strips with one pink line on each. 

“You’re testing! So that explains the mess out in the living room," he gives a soft smile and brings the hand from under your chin to wrap around your upper back, holding you into his chest. “So what did they say?” 

“Not pregnant," you mutter into his chest, the sadness of your voice striking through him like a dagger. 

You feel his breath halt as he pulls away just enough to look at you in utter shock and disbelief. 

“What? How? I was almost beginning to worry that I’d lose my manhood with how often we were doing it," Zen voices in a confused but light-hearted manner, trying to lift the dampness surrounding your heart. 

The hand on your upper back returns to your face, its fingers brushing strands of hair away from your forehead. His lips meet your soft skin, placing several kisses below your hairline before you speak up again. 

“Well, I might be. I didn’t notice the kit recommended testing in the morning, so I’ll have to wait until then to test again. I just really want to know if I’m pregnant or not right now, though," you trail off, your words wavering towards the end as tears begin to fill your eyes. 

“Oh, babe…” he coos, pulling you into his chest once again with the hand on your face moving to behind your head. “It’s okay.” 

He strokes your hair and rests his cheek on top of your head, gently swaying side to side to comfort you. Your breath shudders as you inhale, slow tears staining Zen’s shirt as they slip from your eyes. 

“Morning’s really not that far away. You’ll get to know sooner than you know it. Heck, I’ll even be impatient all night with you if I can just see you smile again," his sweet voice murmurs through your hair, attempting to console you. 

_ How did I get so lucky to win the heart of such an incredible, and understanding man?  _ You try to exhale calmly as you start to feel silly for crying over something so trivial as having to wait a few hours; at least that’s what you’d like it to seem like you were crying over. A short chuckle bubbles from your chest and you lean away from Zen. You dry off one of your cheeks as Zen wipes the other clean with his thumb. 

“Hey, let’s order in tonight and I’ll be sure to keep you entertained, hm? If that sounds good to you," he twinkles down at you, bringing a small smile to your face. “Besides, I have a feeling you’re pregnant; I’ve dreamt it.” 

His certainty slices through the binds tethering your heart to the depths of despair.  _ His dreams do hold some truth to them; especially so after he knew to come rescue me from Unknown.  _ Your eyes glisten as your smile turns into a wide grin, and your heart sluggishly begins its ascent from the dark abyss. You wrap your arms around Zen and hug him tightly before standing on your toes to give his lips a loving kiss. 

“Okay, sounds good to me! But we need to be quick before they close!” you beam, clearly in a much better mood. 

Grabbing hold of his hand, you fly out of the bathroom, tugging his arm hard enough to make him stumble through the doorway. Chaotic footfall and a startled yip sound from behind you, and you release your grip on the hand of the staggering man so he can re-center his balance. Both of his hands slap onto his knees as he shoots a glare up at you. 

“Ah! I’m sorry!” you apologize meekly, your fingers coming up to cover your mouth. 

“Sorry? Instead of saying you are, why don’t you prove you are?” Zen asks slyly, his eyes glinting like that of a wolf stalking its prey. 

You turn quickly and take a step towards the living room in an attempt to flee, but your plans are thwarted. Instead, you let out a yelp as a strong arm snatches you by your waist and another comes behind your legs, swooping you up into the air. Giggles escape you and you squeeze your eyes shut as warm lips press all over your face ravenously, your predator moseying over to the couch all the while. He lowers himself onto the cushions and positions your butt between his thighs, the hand on your back sliding up to your shoulder to hold you into him while his other slides out from under your legs. You give him an apologetic peck on the lips and relay different options for dinner with him before agreeing on one and calling in your order.   


	4. The Elation- Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part 2!

Sleep does not greet you like you were hoping it would. Your excitement about finding out whether you’re pregnant or not pries your eyes open as soon as you finally start to drift off. Propping yourself up in bed, you grab your phone off the nightstand and read the time.  _ It’s just another 3 hours until I have to get up for the morning.  _ You glance around the darkened room, paying most attention to the areas of your bed illuminated by moonlight. Zen is long passed out next to you. His long, silvery locks drape haphazardly around his broad shoulders and down the pillow beneath his head. The softest snore slips through his slightly parted lips as you watch the rise and fall of his chest, his pecs just peeking out from under the covers. Your eyes scan down his blanketed torso; one of his hands rests just above his hip as the other falls open on the bed. Past his hand, you blush a little at the sight of the rounded mass of his latent masculinity between his sprawled legs. Even though you’re completely exhausted and rather sore from the dozens of times you’ve fully experienced his body during your ovulation, you still find yourself craving everything it has to offer. 

You slide back down under the covers and turn on your side away from Zen, gazing out the window with blue and white hues flooding through it while listening to the orchestrated melody of crickets outside in an attempt to put your thoughts elsewhere. The tranquility of the night conjures pleasant images in your mind.  _ What features will our son or daughter have? Will they be as statuesque or as inconceivably beautiful as their father? If they do take after his looks, will they at least take on my mannerisms and overall good nature? Maybe Zen has already seen our child in his dreams.  _ Your eyelids grow heavy as your visions continue to waltz around in your head, sleep once again finding you. 

It only seems like minutes, but hours have gone by, and the blue and pink hues of dawn begin to seep into the room. You’re jolted awake by the anxiety still swimming in your chest, and look over at your phone again;  _ 5:37 a.m.  _ It’s not quite time for you to be up yet, but you can’t help the overwhelming urge to get out of bed. Your darling husband is still snoozing away at your side, so you carefully slither out from beneath the covers in hopes to not disturb his beauty sleep. You tread quietly around the bed and across the carpet, slipping out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. The bag of pregnancy tests still lies on the ground, this time filled with the multiple missing tests you dropped in the living room yesterday evening. You pick up one of the pink boxes and get the rest of the supplies ready, repeating the process of urinating into the cup and counting the drops as they land on the plastic strip. To make your morning more thrilling, you decide to let the test sit on the counter this time as you clean yourself up and slide your shorts back on. The suspense of waiting to look until after you’ve finished washing your hands caffeinates you and jitters you awake completely. 

Drying your hands on a towel, you finally glance over at the test. A dark, pink line resides next to an incredibly faint, pink one. Your heart suddenly ascends at an expedited rate from the intense pounding within your chest. You quickly turn around and grab another test, piping 4 drops onto it and watch the liquid leisurely seep across as a line appears under both the ‘C’ and ‘T’ markings. The two lines darken and your heart bursts through to the surface; the realization that your married life will only become more fulfilling starting now, hitting you like a breath of fresh air. You snatch up the two tests and rush out of the bathroom towards your bedroom with greater speed than you did yesterday. 

“Zen! Zen! Hyun! Zen!” you exclaim excitedly, barreling through the room to his side of the bed with the tests outstretched between your fingers. 

You fling yourself on top of his still sleeping form, your mind quickly switching over to the precious bud sprouting within your womb before you flop down. Your grip on the tests relaxes as you pay more mind to protecting your future child, and one of the strips slips from your fingers. Your eyes become saucers as you watch it briefly fly through the air, slapping against Zen’s cheek before tumbling down into the crook of his neck. His brow furrows at the disturbance of his sleep. He groans a noise resembling that of ‘what’, the weight around his legs bringing some consciousness back to him. Adrenaline shoots him awake as soon as he realizes that you were the one calling out to him. Thinking you’re in distress, he panics, grabbing your wrist and meeting your horrified, yet amused expression. 

“Babe! What are you doing? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” his voice frantic as he pulls you closer, having you kneel next to him on your side of the bed before releasing his grasp.  

A huge grin plasters itself across your face and not a moment later the room is filled with your laughter. 

“Pffffft! Your hair," you wheeze, reaching behind him and into his slightly tangled mess to remove the plastic caught in it. 

He stares at you with confusion before his eyes fall onto what’s in your hands. Placing the positive tests on his lap, you lean forward and wrap your arms around his neck, nuzzling the side of his head with your cheek. His memory flashes back to the way the tests looked last night and how he had to battle the distraught tears they caused you. The different appearance of the new tests registers with him and his eyebrows climb upward, his eyes widening as his mouth curves into a huge, gaping smile. You draw back from him to see his new facial expression and joyful tears begin to pool in your eyes, returning his smile with the biggest one you can possibly manage. His hand reaches out and gently rests against your belly, a trembling breath floating from his lungs. 

“You’re pregnant," Zen utters with tears rimming his gaze of adoration, his voice soft between a whisper. 

“Mhmm!” you hum and nod cheerfully, your tears shaking free from your lashes as your eyes flutter shut. 

His free hand makes its way behind your head and presses your forehead to his, your dewy eyes admiring the sparkling, ruby ones revealing all the love they have for you. 

“I’m going to be a dad," his breath shudders as streaks form on his cheeks. 

"Yes," you grin as you cup his face in your hands. 

You cherish this one of a kind moment that you’ve longed to experience, and just as you wish to bask in it longer, it’s interrupted. He pulls away from you, his gaze averting to the pinkish yellow streaming through the window. 

“Hah.. I’m going to be a dad. I’m going to be a dad," Zen laughs as he suddenly jumps out of bed, fixing his pajama pants as he makes his way to the doorway. 

Now it’s your face that twists into one of confusion as his actions leave you puzzled. 

“Zen?” you question, watching the nimble fingers of the man gather his hair into a ponytail as he hurries out of the room. 

“I need to go do something!” he hollers from around the corner. 

You climb out of the bed and follow after him, just losing sight of him as he bolts through the door leading to the rooftop.  _ What is my crazy husband doing?  _ Scrambling after him up the staircase, you halt at the top and fixate on his silhouette glowing from the warm sunrise.  _ He almost looks like he’s up on stage with his posture and how the sunlight hits him.  _ His hands curve around his mouth and your stomach drops a little.  _ Is he really going t-  _

“I’M GOING TO BE A DAD!” he shouts at the top of his lungs, throwing his fist up as he skips into the air. 

His theatrics startle you and send you into a panic.  _ What in the world is he thinking? The neighborhood isn’t an audience, especially this early in the day!  _

“Zen! It’s 6 in the morning! You’re going to wake the neighbors!” you scold in a hushed yell, scurrying over to him quickly and grabbing his arm in an effort to get him to come back inside. 

He turns to you and wraps you in a snug embrace, your body tensing as he catches you off-guard. His hand caresses your head into his chest, and his cheek nestles on top of it. You hear his soft words hum from his chest and resonate through your ears. 

“I’m on top of the world right now," Zen murmurs contentedly while squeezing you tightly, his smile partially hidden by your unkempt hair. “Thank you, my wonderful wife.” 

You relax and return his embrace, melting into him as the inconceivable amount of love you have for this one person overwhelms you. 

“I love you so much, Hyun. I’m so happy you’re my child’s father," you whisper, your emotions causing a quiver in your words. 

Both of you lean away from each other, adoring the soft flush of skin and warm gleam of the sun in the other’s misty eyes. Zen sniffles and brings his wrist up to wipe away the tear trailing down his face, letting out a satisfied chuckle. 

“I’m sorry if I got carried away. You make me feel like the luckiest man alive and I just couldn’t keep my happiness to myself," he grins, pulling you into a hug once more. “I love you so much, too, ___.” 

The cool, morning air breezes over your exposed skin and sends a chill rippling through your body. Zen feels you shiver beneath his arms and breaks away from you to grab your hand, bringing it to his lips to give it a small kiss. 

“Let’s go back inside. As beautiful as the sunrise is, I can’t allow my princess and our precious baby to stay out in the cold," he coos, ushering you back towards the stairs. 

Giggling, you follow his lead and make your way down the stairs, pausing as Zen opens the door. The show he put on just moments ago plays itself over and over again in your mind, and you become more curious about how it felt as the seconds pass by. You can’t help yourself; you want to experience the thrill of his excitement, even if it’s on a smaller scale. Letting go of Zen’s hand, you turn and run back up the steps. 

“Wait one second," you motion with your index finger, stopping halfway before continuing to the top. Facing the rising sun, you let your curiosity get the best of you and express your jubilation. 

“I’M GOING TO BE A MOM!” you considerately feign a shout, loudly whispering as you imitate your silly husband’s actions from earlier. 

You turn back around to see him gaping at you from down the stairs before he busts up laughing. A wide grin spreads across your face as you quickly shimmy back down to the shirtless man holding the door open, snickering the entire way. 

“Did I really look like that?” Zen asks in the midst of his laughter. 

“If you mean totally cool and inspiring, then yes,” you respond playfully, leaning up onto your toes and giving his lips a delicate peck before heading inside. 

“God, you’re too cute," he smiles as your graceful form in crinkled pajamas saunters to the kitchen. 

He follows in after you, muttering to himself too silently for you to hear. “I don’t know what I’m going to do if our daughter’s just like you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Hint hint)


	5. The Struggle Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of pregnancies come with some sort of struggle. Like my struggle with this chapter. My brain farted and died. It's hard to write a comforting Zen when the majority of the game he spends wearing tight pants. So sorry if he may seem a little out of character. I tried my best! This might be total shit. kek  
> WARNING: If you're uncomfortable reading about vomit, just skip the end of this chapter and probably the next chapter.

“Let me know if you experience any pain or discomfort, okay?” 

Their two gloved fingers are inserted into your vagina and press up around your cervix as the hand on your abdomen firmly shifts around, observing for any abnormalities your growing womb may have. You remain calm and relaxed, staring at the white ceiling as your OB GYN makes notes to jot down later. 

“... uterus feels normal… no detectable lumps or cysts… yep, everything’s looking good, Mama! Based on the dates you’ve had intercourse and the day you tested positive, I’m estimating you’re around 6 weeks pregnant as of today," they inform you as they finish their examination, removing your feet from the stirrups and helping you sit up. “Have you begun a prenatal vitamin regimen yet?” 

“Not yet," you voice timidly, directing your eye contact to the diagrams around the room in hopes to avoid the scolding gaze your doctor might be giving you. “I was hoping you’d be able to recommend some. I know I should have started them sooner, but I trust your word more than what I’ve read online…” 

“I understand. I’ll make a list of a few that I think are great and give it to you at the end of your appointment, but before that, need to hear about your well-being. How are your eating habits; are you experiencing any nausea? Any difficulty sleeping? Hopefully no smoking or drinking, right?” they ask as they sit down on a wheeled stool and slide over to their computer on a small, portable desk. 

“Umm… I think I’ve been eating fairly regularly; no nausea yet, just a lot of cravings for spicy food. Sleep was a little rough before I tested positive, but now it seems back to normal. And absolutely not! My husband does, but I haven’t seen him smoke or drink for quite some time now," you respond, contemplating your last statement. 

_ When is the last time I’ve seen Zen smoke or drink? Did he quit without mentioning it?  _

“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re doing well and not doing anything to harm your baby. Most expecting mothers begin to experience frequent nausea around this point in pregnancy, so I’d suggest stocking up on bland foods and crackers in case you find yourself struggling to keep food down," the doctor smiles as they finish scribbling down the list of prenatal vitamins before getting up to hand it to you. “I’ll leave you to get dressed now. I expect to see you again around the start of your second trimester to take some ultrasounds, so until then take good care, alright?” 

“Yes, I will! Thank you so much again," you beam as they exit the room. 

You hop off the table and slip into the comfort of your clothes once again, then head out to the front desk to schedule your next appointment. Once you’re outside of the office, you check your phone to see you have several unread messages and a missed call from Zen.  _ What a worrywart.  _ Just as you begin to read his text messages, his name flashes across the screen and you sigh, grinning as you answer his call. 

“Hello, my lovely husband," you sing into the phone. 

“Babe! God, I’ve been so anxious since this morning. I take it you’re done with your appointment now? How’d it go? Is the baby alright?” he asks impatiently, his words laced with concern. 

You giggle at his silliness and reassure him, “Yes, the appointment went well. Doctor says both baby and I are healthy!” 

“Oh, thank goodness. I’m so glad rehearsal’s almost over. I’ve felt like running to you all day, I was so worried. I need to see your beautiful face just to be sure!” he articulates, sighing away his pent up anxiety. 

“You don’t need to worry, everything’s fine. But, hey! Before you go, I need to stop by the store to get stuff for dinner. Do you need anything while I’m there?” you question, silently wondering if he might ask for you to pick up some beer or cigarettes. 

“Hmm… I can’t think of anything in particular. I’ll help you make dinner when I get back, though, so don’t buy anything heavy and take a cab if you need to or just take a cab anyway and d-" Zen begins to tangent before you cut him off. 

“Zen! I’ll be extra careful and keep baby safe, so finish up rehearsal and hurry home to me," you finish with a flirtatious ring. 

You hear Zen stutter on the other end, “Gosh, why do you do this to me? You make waiting so hard, you know that?” 

“That’s all the more reason to practice hard until then! I’ll see you at home, okay? Baby and I love you!” you chirp before blowing a kiss into the phone. 

“I love you too, Princess. I’ll see you both later! Mu-Mu-Muah!” he kisses the phone before ending the call. 

Since the grocery store is miles away from your doctor’s practice, you call a cab and narrow down your dinner options during the ride.  _ Oh, spicy curry sounds so good right now! Plus it gives me the chance to buy extra rice in case I do experience morning sickness sometime soon.  _ With that in mind, you gather up all the ingredients for curry, your vitamins and salt crackers, and the largest bag of rice you think you can manage to carry home. After everything is rung up and paid for, you make your way back home, enjoying the warm, mid-summer breeze the setting sun brings. 

Your steps forward are leisurely as you relish the whirl of balmy air wrapping around your limbs and combing through your hair. The sun sinks deeper and deeper into the sky with each block that leads you closer to home; a new scene painting itself before you. The red fringing the horizon reminds you of the eyes you could spend all day gazing into, and a soft blush tints your cheeks.  _ This time next year, I’ll be enjoying an evening like this with the man of my dreams and the fragile new life we’ve created together.  _ You catch yourself swinging your bags in your hands, and before you even realize it, you’re tittering with a big, fat grin on your face. Trying to compose yourself again with a few light slaps to your cheeks, you round the final corner and focus on absorbing as much of the atmosphere as you can before you have to head inside. 

“Hey, pretty lady, fancy a kiss?” a low voice sounds in your ear, their breath mingling with the breeze tickling the nape of your neck. 

Your shoulders jump and your hands fly up at the ready, dropping the bags once gripped in your fists with a crinkly thud.  _ I’m being hit on? Is this really happening right now?  _ Clenching your fingers into your palms, you whip yourself around to confront your harasser.  _ Just who would have the nerve t-  _

“Oh, my god! Zen! I thought I was going to have to punch you!” you yelp irritatingly at the ivory haired man. 

Zen chuckles and waves his hands defensively, flashing you a smile, “I didn’t mean to startle you that bad, babe. You just looked so cute while you were in your own world, I couldn’t help myself.” 

Sighing, you divert your eyes to the groceries strewn on the sidewalk; your bottle of vitamins rolling away with one of the potatoes as if they’re attempting to elope. You kick your foot out to stop the escapees and begin to kneel down, grousing in mild agitation, “You better not have broken my crackers.” 

Zen stops you and rapidly drops to his knees. 

“No! I’ll get it, Princess. I can’t have you straining yourself, otherwise I might just have to carry you the rest of the way home," he winks up at you as he places the last of the items into a bag, lifting the bags with him as he rises. 

He shifts them into the same hand and extends his free one to you, motioning to the direction of your apartment with a nod, “Shall we?” 

You smile and place your hand in his, but before you can even take a step forward, you’re tugged to the side. 

“But, before we get there…” he says as he swings you into him. 

The sudden movement mildly dazes you, and you reach your arms up to his chest in an attempt to ground yourself. His arm snakes behind your waist and holds you gently against his body as to not put pressure on your barely pudged tummy. You find your balance as your eyes meet his sly gaze, his face coming just inches from yours. 

“Do you fancy a kiss or not?” Zen hums in the same flirtatious tone as before. 

A smirk creeps up onto your face as you think of a way to get him back for spooking you just moments ago. 

“That depends on if you broke my crackers or not,” you pout teasingly, hoping to get small rise out of him. 

_ After all, he did make me drop my bags.  _

“What? ____, don’t do this to me! I don’t think my heart can take it if I have to wait any longer," he whines, desperation washing over his features and exerting in his breath. 

You almost feel bad for toying with him with how afflicted he sounds and appears. His eyes plead with yours as his fingers tangle in the fabric of your shirt and squeeze tightly.  _ There’s no way he could be playing along with my game; he’s a really good actor if he is.  _ Somewhere in the depths of his eyes you can see a helpless wolf pup, and you swear you can almost hear it whimpering in its sorrow.  _ I can’t deprive this man of my affection.  _

“Just kidding! Of course, I’d fancy a kiss from my husband; any time of day," you smile as you stand on your toes to press your lips to his ever begging ones. 

Just as you pull away, he leans into you and steals your lips once again, sliding the hand behind your waist up to the back of your neck. His breath puffs out his nose in a sigh of relief and building desire as he holds you into his kiss, lips brushing against yours as he tilts his head to greedily sample you from the other side. Your cheeks grow hot at the unexpected gesture, and your fingers grasp his shirt as you feel yourself begin to melt into him. He feels his temperature rise by the second and decides to peel himself away from you before letting temptation get the better of him. 

“Ugh, I can't," Zen groans, moving the hand behind your neck to rest atop one of yours. 

You relax your hold on his shirt, and his hand clasps beneath yours, pulling it up to his lips to plant a soft kiss on your knuckles. 

“I have to feed my wife and baby before anything else. Besides, it’s too early for the beast to come out, so try to not tempt me too much until then, hm?” he grins, lowering your hand to entwine his fingers with yours. 

“I’ll try not to," you simper up at him before drawing your gaze to the cobbled path moving beneath you as you walk to your apartment, “but I can’t make any promises.” 

_ Now I’ve done it.  _ Zen squeezes your hand tightly, his steps now strides as he powers ahead of you around the fence. You have to quicken your pace just to stay caught up with him so he doesn’t unintentionally drag you. 

“I can’t believe my sweet princess of a wife is so sadistic," he grumbles unbelievingly to himself, heading down the steps to your door. 

You snicker in your accomplishment as you snatch the keys from your purse, unlocking the door and settling everything in the kitchen. Zen takes on the prep work of the meat and vegetables, making sure to thoroughly scrub the potatoes as you start the rice in the cooker and finish putting the rest of the groceries away. 

“Hey, it doesn’t look like the crackers broke!” you smile, wiggling the box up in the air. 

Zen briefly looks up at you as he finishes obliquing the last of the carrots, his face twisted into one of displeasure, “There you go again with those damn crackers! What makes them so special anyway?” 

“They’re for in case I get morning sickness, so don’t eat any!” you say as you put them into the cupboard. 

“As if I’d want to eat a cracker after all the torment they’ve put me through! Plus my face would only bloat with how salty those things are," he murmurs as he begins to sear the cubed meat in the pan. 

The scent slowly drifts over to you and makes your nose scrunch.  _ Did I buy expired meat on accident?  _ You contemplate checking the trash to find the date on the packaging, but the scent only grows stronger by the minute and the thought of digging through garbage only nauseates you. 

“Zen, does that meat smell alright to you?” your words muffled by your shirt around your nose. 

He leans closer to the pan, attempting to smell what you’re smelling, “Smells fine to me. Why? Is something wrong with it?” 

You shake your head and start making your way towards the door to the roof, “No, nothing’s wrong with it. I’m just going to go get some air for a few minutes. I’ll be right back.” 

He watches you with concerned eyes as your foot disappears outside. Up on the roof, you inhale the untainted air as fast and as deeply as you can, trying to clear your sinuses of the foul smell that threatened to make you gag. _Maybe this is the beginning of the morning sickness I’ll be feeling._ The act of breathing too much air in too quickly dizzies you and makes your brain and lips tingle. Plopping yourself down against the wall near the stairs, you close your eyes. You concentrate on breathing slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth to fight off the waves of nausea that wash the color away from your skin. A few minutes turn into ten, then into twenty before you finally begin to find some stability again. It’s been so long since you’ve felt this ill, you’ve almost forgotten what it feels like. Just as you feel somewhat well enough to head back down, you hear footsteps and peek over to see the sheen of white hair ascend the stairs. Seeing your pale figure reclined on the ground, Zen rushes up to you and immediately crouches at your side. 

“____, are you okay? You’re not sick are you?” he probes, anxiously placing the back of his hand on your forehead to check your temperature. 

“No, I just got a little light-headed that’s all," you reassure as you sit yourself up and away from the wall. 

He brushes your hair back into place with his fingers and still sounds perturbed even after your reassurance, “Dinner’s ready; do you think you can eat? When’s the last time you’ve had anything?” 

_ Darn it. He’s for sure going to be upset with me.  _

“Umm…” you begin reluctantly, “I haven’t eaten since before my appointment, so maybe a little bit after noon?” you finish, uneasily meeting Zen’s worried eyes with your own. 

“Babe, you need to eat more often now," he urges, taking your hands in his and rubbing the backs of yours with his thumbs. “I know when I haven’t eaten after a long day of practice I feel a little off; you think if you get some food in you you’ll feel a little better?” 

Your stomach is telling you ‘no’, but your conscience and love for your unborn child overrules any doubts you may have. You know it in your heart that you need to do whatever it takes to ensure this baby makes it into this world safe and healthy. 

“Maybe. I’ll give it a go," you smile weakly, and Zen leans in to plant a tender kiss to your forehead. 

“Come on; baby girl needs to eat," he says as he hoists you up to a standing position. 

_ ‘Baby Girl’?  _

“‘Baby Girl’?” you flash a perplexed look at your husband. 

He beams down at you before dipping eye-level with you, tilting your chin up with his finger. 

“Yeah, you’re my 'Baby Girl'," he says convincingly, attempting to seal away your bewilderment with a kiss. 

_ Since when has he ever called me ‘Baby Girl’? I’ve always been ‘Babe’ and ‘Princess’; sometimes even ‘Lady’, but never ‘Baby Girl’.  _

Dismissing your curiosity about the whole thing, you chuckle, “Okay, but if you come up with anymore pet names for me, I’ll begin to think you’ve forgotten my real name.” 

“As if I could forget the most beautiful name I’ve ever heard," Zen states proudly as he leads you down the stairs to protect you in case you fall. “I sing it as a warm-up for my vocals every morning.” 

“What? You do not. Please, tell me you don’t!” your fingers come up to your now flaming cheeks, the only part of you that has some sort of color again. 

“I do, though. A-hem," he clears his throat, stopping on the last few steps to turn and face you. 

Holding a hand to his chest, he draws out his other arm dramatically as if he’s performing in an opera. 

“___, ___, ___, ___," he belts as an arpeggio, watching you with laughing eyes. 

“NO! STOP!” you yell in humiliation as you cover your ears, scrambling down the last of the steps and through the door to your apartment. 

Zen snickers until he sees your figure is well out of sight. Sighing heavily in relief, he leans against the railing, taking a few minutes to enjoy the cool, night air. “You almost blew it, Zen.” 

Inside, the vile stench of cooked meat pelts your sinuses and immediately brings back all the unpleasant feelings you just spent half an hour trying to get rid of. You bring your shirt up over your nose, trying to block out the foul odor, but hardly any of it is filtered out. Making your way over to the kitchen, you notice Zen took the privilege of setting the table; the curry and rice covered to keep warm until you returned. Lips tingling once again, you steady your breathing in an effort to keep your nausea at bay. You want nothing more than to run outside into the comfort of fresh air, but you instead find yourself taking a seat at the table.  _ Come on! I can do it for this baby! I have to!  _

Settling yourself halfway on your chair, you lean over the table and lift the lid of the pot containing curry. Its pungent steam wafts into your face, the smell like a punch to your gut that sends your insides twisting and your head swirling. An overwhelming need to burp rises in your throat, but the sensation is accompanied by an uninvited guest. You fly out of your chair, knocking it over in your rush to the kitchen sink as your stomach’s contents threaten to spew from you at any second. Zen enters just as your chair slams into the ground, and his eyes dart around the room in search of your missing body, until the sound of retching brings his attention further into the kitchen. 

You reach your hands out for the sink and clasp the edges, throwing yourself over it just in the nick of time. Your shoulders heave while your stomach tightens painfully, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut as it discards what little lunch you had left in you from earlier in the day.  _ Oh, god this hurts.  _ Tears dot the corners of your eyes as you heave a second time, and in the midst of your purge, Zen’s voice and footsteps sound somewhere behind you. In a whimpering panic, you blindly fumble for the knob to turn on the water and grab the faucet once it’s running, swinging it side to side to run your vomit down the drain. The last thing you want is for Zen to see you so unsightly, even if he is married to you. Just as most of your stomach’s contents are washed away, two hands scoop your hair away from your face and you begin sobbing. 

“You’re okay. Let me help you," he says softly, holding your hair in one hand as his other removes the tie in his hair. 

He fashions your hair into a quick bun and dips his hand into the running water, rubbing his cold, damp hand over your forehead and into your hair. The back of his soaked hand dabs along the back of your neck, instantly cooling you down. 

“Just relax and breathe," he soothes, rubbing his hand in circular motions between your shoulder blades. “There’s no need to cry.” 

You focus on trying to calm yourself while his hand continues to rub circles on your back as he stretches over to the cupboard with cups in it. He swiftly flicks a cup into his hand and fills it with tap water before bringing it to your lips. Shakily, you grab the glass and take a small sip, swishing it around in your mouth before spitting out the bile tinged liquid. 

“I’m sorry…” you whisper, your eyes unwilling to turn and face Zen. 

“Sorry? What for?” he asks calmly, dampening his hand again and placing it on the back of your neck. 

“You made dinner and I can’t eat it," you sniffle, beginning to work yourself up again. 

“Shh-shh-shh… I’m not upset with you at all. At least now we know what sets off your morning sickness,” he chuckles towards the end, halting his motions on your back and squeezing your shoulders gently with both hands. “You shouldn’t be eating anything spicy anyways.” 

It’s silent for a brief moment.  _ Where’d he hear that from? What else does he know?  _

“No…?” you say softly with a lilt, too nauseated to ask complete questions. 

“No, you’ll only give yourself reflux. To be honest, I’ve been spending my breaks reading up on pregnancy so I can take better care of you," Zen voices sweetly, kissing your crown. 

_ That’s right; I’ve mostly been focusing more on the party and managing Zen than I have myself.  _

“And don’t worry, nobody but the neighbors knows about the baby yet. As hard as it is for me, we’re still waiting until the 12th week, right?” 

_ He reads my mind so well. If only I could turn around and surround myself in his warmth.  _ You nod in agreement before your stomach knots itself again. Placing your glass of water on the counter, you brace yourself for another round of torture. 

“I’ll go open up the windows and air out the place. I’ll come right back, so just hang in there, Princess," his hands leave your shoulders as he speaks assuredly, “I promised ‘in sickness and in health’, remember?” 

A smile wants to creep upon your face at the comfort of his words, but all you can manage right now is keeping the sounds of your retching as quiet as possible.


	6. A Rough Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OKAY I FIXED SOME THINGS SO IT'S LESS CONTRADICTORY. Previous chapters have been edited so if you want to reread you can, otherwise I'll post the changes right here so you don't have to go back.
> 
> Change in Ch. 3- The morning after the most intimate moment of your life, you began researching everything you needed to know about becoming pregnant; how long you’d have to wait before testing, when you’d begin to feel symptoms, and anything regarding the best chances for ensuring conception.
> 
> Change in Ch. 5- That’s right; you’ve mostly been focusing more on the party and managing Zen than you have yourself. 
> 
> Thanks to Anon it was easier for me to pick out the things to change in the previous and in this chapter, so thank you so much! 
> 
> The director is Wallace Shawn. I will be INCONCEIVABLY shocked if you do not know who that is. Plus it kind of felt fitting to imagine him given the title of this fanfic. Lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some appearances from the other RFA members. There's a lot going on in this chapter, so buckle yourselves down. This is twice as long as I usually like my chapters to be lol  
> The emoticons are (in the parentheses) 
> 
> WARNING: Zen might make you cry. Maybe.

“Please, just eat a couple more bites," Zen softly pleads, holding a spoonful of rice porridge to your lips. “Please… babe, our baby needs to eat.”

Reluctantly, you suppress the churning sensation in your gut and open your mouth. Gagging only once, you swallow it successfully, and shake your head as he scoops up another spoonful.

“I can’t… If I eat anymore, I’ll throw it up," you say weakly, gazing at the floor.  

    _Just one look at his desperation is going to bring me to tears again, and if I cry, I’ll definitely lose what little I have in my stomach._ Zen sets the spoon back into the porridge and pushes away from the table, agitatedly taking the half empty bowl to the sink. _What’s up with him?_

“Final rehearsal is today; think you can make it?” he asks calmly, despite his irritation as he dumps the porridge down the drain.  

“I don’t know…” you voice softly, shifting focus to your hands fiddling with the hem of your night shirt.   

Zen flips on the water and begins rinsing the dirtied dish, his annoyance starting to bubble up into his words, “What should I tell everyone then?”   

“What do you mean?” you question, now staring at the long ponytail flowing down his back.

“About why my manager hasn’t shown up in three weeks!” he lashes out, tossing the bowl and spoon frustratedly against the back of the sink. “Rumors are going around that you quit for reasons I don’t even want to say to you, so what do I tell them? Because they sure as hell aren’t taking my word for it!”   

He shuts off the water and grips the edges of the sink, remaining turned away from you.

“I don’t know, just tell them I still have the stomach flu!” you speak up, your voice still small from multiple nights and mornings of purging.    

“Seriously? I’ve already told them that! You can't still have the flu, nobody has it for that long!” he shouts as he turns to you, raising his voice even louder. “And what about why I’m late almost every day?”

You meet his glowering eyes and shrink back into your chair, “I don’t kn-”

“Should I just tell them? Tell them that I’m late because I have to feed my pregnant wife like a baby bird, otherwise she might starve our unborn child to death?” he fumes, slamming his fist onto the counter.

His words pierce through your heart like a sword, and disbelief becomes the primary expression on your face. _He can’t really mean that, can he?_

“How could you say that?” you tremble, fighting back tears.  

“Well, I can’t stand them talking about you that way, so what do you want me to do, huh? And don’t tell me ‘I don’t know’ again,” he mocks, almost knowing it’ll send you over the edge.

You sit silently and look down at your lap, unsure of what to say or do to ease your husband’s anger. _If I am being selfish, maybe I do deserve to be yelled at._ Feeling he won’t get an answer from you by glaring at the top of your head, he storms over and bends forward.

Taking your chin between his thumb and index finger, he tugs your face up to meet his, a scowl fitting his face to compliment the growl in his voice, “___, I want this child just as much as you do, if not more, so tell me! What do I do?”

His vexation towards you drives his sharp words deeper into your chest. Tears pooling in your eyes and lower lip quivering, you whimper all you can think to say, “I d-don-”

“GODDAMNIT, ___!” he snaps, releasing your chin roughly in frustration.

He swiftly turns, snatches up the keys to his motorcycle, and makes his way to the front door, his words spitting from him like venom.

“I can’t keep this up. If you’re not going to give me any ideas, at least grow a heart and fucking eat something”, he says coldly as he swings the door open and leaves with a slam.

The last bitter statement knocks the breath from you; as if he just twisted his blade to add more pain to your suffering. Your tears spill down your cheeks, your throat growing sore from the tension of holding them back for so long. Getting up from the table, you wobble into the bathroom and curl up on the floor by the toilet. Thinking back on all he just said, your emotions overwhelm you and expel from you in the form of wails.

“Hyun…”

\--------------------------------------------

As soon as he stands before his motorcycle, the realization of what he’d just done hits him.  

“God, what are you doing, Zen?” he groans as he slaps his hand onto his face and rubs his forehead.

Stuffing the keys into his pocket, he begins the time-consuming walk to work. His motorcycle would make him less late, but he’s knows he’s in no frame of mind to be riding it. He especially can’t be risking his life when he’s got a baby on the way. _Baby. ___._ He’s certain you’re probably crying in there right now. _That probably wasn’t the smartest move on my part, but what else can I possibly do? She's not even eating enough to be considered a bird at this point._ It tears him apart that even with the amount of love and effort he puts in, the ones he desires to protect the most are still endangered. He longs for the old days when he’d wake up to the melodic sound of you humming away in the kitchen and the gentle embrace you’d give him when he returned home. Now instead, he rises to the sound of you retching as you hug the toilet instead of him. _She keeps insisting it's just a bug, but could it be that one thing I read about a few nights ago? Is it healthy to just ignore it like she is?_

A part of him pities you and wants to help you ride it out, but another feels as if you’re not putting in enough effort on your end. After all, this baby is half of you and half of him, so why is he taking on both parental duties? It’s not fair to be the one to cook and clean after busting his ass all day if you were just sitting around at home feeling sorry for yourself. You couldn’t possibly be feeling that awful 24 hours a day! Even during that one time he somehow contracted the flu he was able to go about his day normally, so why can’t you? In the least, he shouldn’t even be having to feed you to make sure you’ve eaten that day. _Why can’t she take some responsibility for this new life we agreed to creating together?_ Maybe it wasn’t all that terrible of a decision to release his pent up frustration on you. _Maybe now she'd realize that she needs to just suck it up and start caring about someone other than herself._ Both his future and the baby depend on you greatly.

But if his wife really does feel that miserable all the time, maybe he’s being too harsh on you. _Maybe she needs more help than I can give her._ But right now he can’t dwell on his mixed feelings; he’s got to prepare himself for the long and grueling day beneath the sweltering heat of dozens of stage lights. He’ll have to think of a way to discuss things with you later, and hopefully not bring you to tears again. Slinking in through the back door of the theatre, Zen begins to make his way to the dressing rooms as quickly as he can, pretending to not be 20 minutes late.

“Zen!” a loud, almost shrill voice sounds from behind and startles him.

Zen halts in his tracks and spins around, meeting the man’s displeased expression with a charming grin, “Director!”

“Zen, how many times does this make it now?” the shorter, balding man huffs as he stalks over to him, unchanged by the pearly whites sparkling at him.

“Look, there’s just a lot going on personally and I’m going to fix it soon. You’ve gotta believe me, I’m really working on it,” Zen says as he rubs the back of his neck, now smiling defensively.

Still looking dissatisfied with the actor, he continues to frown, “Fix it now! Otherwise you can expect to see yourself listed as ‘Understudy’ tomorrow night!”

Zen’s face falls and he dips his head in apology to the scowling man, “Yes, sir. I’m sorry; this won’t happen again.”

“Good. You’ve got 5 minutes to suit up so hop to it!” the director claps twice near Zen’s face before making his way to the other actors and actresses.

Zen sighs and jogs back towards the dressing room, “___, please get it together for me.”

\--------------------------------------------

 

“Fifteen minutes, everyone!” the director calls for break.  

Zen heads outside and leans against the wall of the building; it’s somewhat habit now from all his years smoking. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, checking to see if he has any missed messages or calls from you. _It’s 5:30PM; she would have at least sent me something by now._ Although, he can’t expect you to want to talk to him after how he acted this morning. But even then, he can’t help but feel a little concerned. Worry growing within him, he opens up the messenger to see if you might be in there.

[ZEN has entered the chatroom.]   

Yoosung★: OH! I ned togo

Yoosung★: boss time  

ZEN: No you don’t. Hold it right there.

Yoosung★: bt Zen! Thyre pllng!

Jaehee Kang: Zen, how are rehearsals?

Jaehee Kang: I’m looking forward to purchasing my ticket as soon as I finish work ^^

ZEN: (cry)

ZEN: They could be going smoother, but it’s nothing to worry about

Jaehee Kang: Oh no… I’m sorry to hear that.

ZEN: Yeah… it’s whatever

ZEN: Let me know what seats you want and I’ll hold them for you ^^

Jaehee Kang: Really? That means so much

Jaehee Kang: Thank you.

Jaehee Kang: (happy)

ZEN: I see ___ isn’t here.

ZEN: (pained)

ZEN: Has she come in at all today?

Jaehee Kang: I just got on as I’m almost finished with work, so I haven’t seen her.

Yoosung★: me nthr

Jaehee Kang: Did something happen?

ZEN: God… I don’t know if I should even tell you guys;

ZEN: (pained)

[707 has entered the chatroom.]

ZEN: ;;;I kind of yelled at her this morning…

707: (shocked)   

Jaehee Kang: (shocked)

Yoosung★: (shocked)

707: You did what to our ___?!?

707: What could our ___ have possibly done to deserve that??

Jaehee Kang: Zen…

ZEN: UGH! I just lost it, okay?!;;

ZEN: I can’t even talk about it yet,

ZEN: we agreed not to.

Yoosung★: Yo cn’t evn tllus?

ZEN: Dude, I have no idea what you’re saying

ZEN: Get off that game  

707: I think I might know why

707: (star-eyed)

ZEN: (shocked)

ZEN: No way;;

ZEN: Don’t tell me you’ve been spying on us!;;;

707: (hearts)

Yoosung★: YES! DOWN!

Yoosung★: What’s going on with Zen and ___?

707: Secret~

707: (heheh)

Yoosung★: Why?! T_T

Yoosung★: We’re all practically family!

Yoosung★: I want to know!

Jaehee Kang: Yoosung

Jaehee Kang: I suggest we wait until both Zen and ___ are ready to talk to us

Jaehee Kang: Do not pester them further.

Yoosung★: (cry)

Yoosung★: Okay… T_T

Yoosung★: but I just don’t like all this secret keeping

Yoosung★: I get bad feelings about it.

ZEN: I’ll talk to ___ when I go home in a few hours.

Jaehee Kang: Yes, hopefully she’s not too hurt

ZEN: Yeah…

ZEN: Oh! Break time is over

ZEN: I’ll be back later

Jaehee Kang: I hope the rest of rehearsal goes well ^^

Jaehee Kang: as well as your talk with ___.

ZEN: Thank you, Jaehee ^^

ZEN: Oh, and Seven,

707: (huh?)

ZEN: I swear to god if you say a damn thing…

ZEN: (angry)

707: gah;;;

707: Don’t worry! God SEVEN ZERO SEVEN is the best keeper of secrets~

ZEN: (seriously)

ZEN: I’ll get going.

Yoosung★: Bye, Zen! Good luck!!

[ZEN has left the chatroom.]  

\--------------------------------------------  

 

___

\-----

7:46PM: Practice got out a little late. I’m coming home now. Talk when I get there?

Zen waits a few minutes for your reply, but he gets none. Sighing, he stuffs his phone back into his pocket and starts walking home. _Did I really upset her that much?_ He’s never really talked to you like that before, so it’s possible. Seeing you cry in pain is something he never wants to see you do, and in a sense, he left before he even could. But knowing that he’s someone who’s capable of doing such a thing makes him feel like the life is being strangled out of him. His heart feels like it’s locked inside a cage far too small, and the only way to stop the constricting around his heart is to find the key at home.

“Just wait for me, Princess,” he murmurs to himself.

The squeezing in his chest makes his feet desperate, and he finds himself running down and around the several blocks home. He tries to compose himself as he gets to the front door before entering. _Crap. What was I going to say to her? Just sorry?_ The pounding of his heart in his head makes it difficult for him to think of any proper apology. _I just need to get in there to see her and hold her._

“Hey, I’m home,” he hesitantly calls out as he opens and closes the door, unsure if he’s allowed to say something as warm as ‘Princess’ after what happened this morning.

He scans the living room and kitchen, but your presence cannot be found. His eyes travel to the bathroom, light flowing out through the bottom of the closed door indicating that you’re inside. Puffing his breath out from his cheeks, he makes his way over and prays silently that you’ll come out and talk to him.

“Hey, babe? You in there?” he asks calmly, tapping the door with his knuckles softly a few times.

You jolt awake and lift your head off the seat of the toilet, squinting your bloodshot eyes at the door. Your body feels heavy and groggy from falling asleep after your dry heaving episode a few hours ago. _How long have I been in here?_ You reach for your phone to check the time, but then remember you left it out on the couch while Zen was preparing breakfast for you. _Breakfast. Zen._ The memories are all too painful to think about. You start to feel almost as bitter as the taste of the bile coating your tongue.

“What…” you mutter hoarsely at the door, throat rough and dry from dehydration.

Slightly uneased by the croak of your voice, Zen presses his ear to the door in case his hearing was off.

“Princess, are you okay in there? Can I come in?” he inquires anxiously, jiggling the handle of the locked door.

The thought of seeing your husband right now sickens you all over again. _How could someone who loves you with all their heart speak to you so cruelly as if they never did? Especially so when you’re pregnant with their child?_ You feel tears well up in your eyes as scenes from the morning play through your mind. This is torture; your hips and knees ache from sitting on the cold bathroom floor all day, your throat on fire from the wrath of your stomach’s contents, and now anxiety and heartache are sprinkling themselves on top to add the finishing touches to your torment. It’s too much. Your heart and body can’t handle all this pain being thrown at it.

“No!” your voice cracks, answering both questions in one go.

Zen feels anger begin to simmer in his chest at your abrasiveness, but the last thing he wants to do is cause you more pain. _Maybe she just needs more time to calm down?_

Centering his emotions again, he drops his tone to one that he finds soothing enough in hopes to coax you from your sour state, “Come out whenever you’re ready, Princess. I’ll be in the bedroom. I want to apologize.”

 _God, he just knows how to make me feel worse. Now he seems like the victim, and there’s no way I’m going to feel sorry for that ass._ You growl internally as it hurts too much to do so physically and begin to cry again. Zen hears your whimpers through the door before he sulks off to the bedroom. He dresses down into his sleepwear and climbs into bed with a copy of his script, reading through it as he waits for you to release the pressure surrounding his heart.     

Your weakened body is parched, yearning for water, lips cracking from dehydration. It seems like hours have passed by since your final heaving session of the night, and you’re more sick of being stubborn than you are of sleeping on the bathroom floor. _It’s time to confront Zen._

Pushing your head away from the toilet, you press your arms onto the seat to lift yourself up from the floor. Your legs have gone numb and your shoulders scream in agony at the stress being put on them. The room begins to swirl in your vision as your heartbeat throws a tantrum in your head. _I just need to get some fluids in me and go to bed._ Using the little strength you have, you press down harder and manage to get to your knees, straightening your back. You lean onto the backs of your heels to catch your breath in an attempt to balance your dizzied self, but find yourself falling back further than what you had been anticipating. Darkness creeps in along the edges of the room spinning around you, your breath nearly knocked from you as your back makes contact with the floor. _Dear Lord, the pain._ Rolling the best you can onto your side to free your straining legs, you attempt to crawl to the door, but your muscles won’t budge another inch. Your breathing hastens in your panic. _What is happening?_  

“... Hyun… Help…” you mouth, unable to produce audible words as the darkness swallows you.

\--------------------------------------------   

    _“You may go in and see them now. Congratulations,” the nurse smiles as she motions for Zen to pass through._

_He stops his anxious pacing and bolts through the door of the waiting room, ignoring the advice of the nurse to ‘slow down’. Stopping at your room number, he breathes out shakily, opening the door once his nerves have calmed some. Pale blue light envelops the room, flooding in from the rain glittered window. And there you are; looking as angelic as ever gazing so lovingly down at the tiny human swaddled in pink in your arms. He gazes at the two of you as if you’re the most precious thing he’s ever laid eyes on. Your gaze lifts to his as the door clicks shut and you motion for him to come over._

_“Hyun! Come here, she wants to meet her father,” you beam up at him before you start coughing fitfully._

_Zen’s smile falls and his face turns into one of concern._

_“___, are you alright?” he asks frantically as he rushes further into the room._

_You nod and reassure him the best you can through your coughs, “-Yes. Just need- some water-”_

_You point over to the jug of water sitting on the table across from the foot of the bed and Zen’s eyes follow._

_“I’ll get it, just relax, Princess,” he smiles, glancing one last time at the small form in your arms, her features hidden in her blankets._

_He pivots on his foot and walks over to the table with glasses and water on it, pouring the liquid into the glass as quickly as his trembling hands will allow. Water sloshes over the sides of the glass from the amount of anxiety he has in meeting his daughter for the first time, and he sloppily uses his sleeve to dry the cup off the best he can._

_“Sorry, the glass is a little wet but it sh-” he apologizes as he spins around towards your bed, only to see it empty._

_The glass hits the floor and shatters the silence in the room. When did it grow quiet? The noise startles him, but his red orbs full of fear remain locked onto your now unfilled bed. _ _The wrinkled sheets say she was there, so where is she? This can’t be another one of her jokes.  _ _He uneasily makes his way over to the side he would have sat on to hold his child and his eyes catch onto a colorful object. Neatly folded in the center of the bed is a pink blanket. His hand floats over the soft material and he grips it in his palm._ _What does this mean?_

 _“___…”_  

\--------------------------------------------    

“___!” Zen shoots awake, unaware that he must have dozed off.  

He looks down at his hand, his script now crumpled up in his clammy fist. Peeling it from his palm, he glances over at your side of the bed, feeling it with his hands. _It’s cold. Is she not coming to bed?_

Getting up he makes his way out into the living room and quietly calls your name, “___?”

He peers over the back of the couch to see if you’re possibly sleeping on it in your avoidance of him, but instead finds your phone blinking up at him. _She has unread messages?_ Picking up the device, he wakes up the screen and opens your inbox. His eyes grow wider as he reads the timestamps of each of the unread messages, the earliest being 8:23AM. _Has she been in the bathroom this whole time?_ _It’s past midnight now!_ He drops the phone back onto the couch and flies to the bathroom, pounding on the door with his fist.

“___, open this door!” he shouts as he jiggles the still locked handle. “___!”

He halts his violence on the door and presses his ear to it like before, searching for any sort of sound in the shut off space. _Silence._

“I’m going to knock this door down if you don’t open it, you hear me?” he yells as he bangs on it again.

 _Nothing._ The eeriness is all too similar to his dream just now and his instincts are screaming at him that something’s not right. _There’s no way I’m letting anything bad happen to her, even if she doesn't want to see me right now._

“Damnit! I can’t believe I’ve gotta do this…” he mutters under his breath as he backs away from the door.

Bracing himself, he brings his shoulder forward and slams himself into the door near the frame. An audible split sounds but the door remains shut. He throws himself into it a few more times until it swings open, revealing your drained body sprawled on the floor. _Shit._

“___!” Zen calls out as he stumbles in and falls to the floor, shaking your shoulder in a vain attempt to wake you.

He brushes the hair away from your face, your tear-stained skin cool to the touch. The warm sensation of your faint breath against his hand is the only thing telling him that you’re still alive.

“Shit, shit, SHIT!” he curses as he scrambles out of the bathroom and grabs your phone, dialing emergency services as he races back towards you.

Your knight lifts your upper half up onto his lap as the operator picks up. He does as the operator asks, checking your pulse and staying by your side. He explains to them that you’re 9 weeks pregnant and gives them information about your recent decline in health. The operator affirms that they’re sending an ambulance and to remain calm until it arrives. Zen thanks them and hangs up, your phone clacking against the ground as he drops it. Shifting your body in his arms, he scoops you up and holds you into his chest. He reaches over and pulls down an unused towel from the rack and wraps it around you, rubbing his hand against your cloaked arm to warm you more quickly. The realization that he could possibly lose the love of his life, along with his child tonight mutes the adrenaline coursing through his veins and he breaks down. _My heart just might give up right here and now._ Weeping, he buries his face into your hair, whispering and kissing wherever his lips meet.

“I’m so sorry, Princess. Please… please forgive me and just stay with me… please. I’m so, so sorry… both of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read my reply to Anon about Zen's characterization if you feel he might have been a little out of character.


	7. A Solution- Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RFA helps Zen wait in the hospital. Dat boi Seven. I'm splitting this into two parts since it just seems like it should be two parts. I'm currently 1/3 the way done with part 2. I'm trying to crank this stuff out before my trip to Scotland in 11 days so HOPEFULLY (but most likely not) I'll be able to finish this fanfic before I leave. I'll write while I've got down time there. 
> 
> I ALSO FIXED SOME THINGS FROM PREVIOUS CHAPTERS IN CASE YOU READ BEFORE I UPDATED CHAPTER 6. 
> 
> Change in Ch. 3- The morning after the most intimate moment of your life, you began researching everything you needed to know about becoming pregnant; how long you’d have to wait before testing, when you’d begin to feel symptoms, and anything regarding the best chances for ensuring conception.
> 
> Change in Ch. 5- That’s right; you’ve mostly been focusing more on the party and managing Zen than you have yourself. 
> 
> Change in Ch. 6- You keep insisting it's just a bug, but could it be that one thing he read about a few nights ago? Is it healthy to just ignore it like you are? 
> 
> So now, hopefully everything seems less contradictory. That's what happens when you just write a story with no real outline lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot what I was going to say here. I know I had something I wanted to say but my brain farted. Maybe I'll write it here later. 
> 
> OH! The emoticons are (in the parentheses). I don't know how to post pictures within the story.

Yoosung★: Do you think Zen and ___ made up?

Yoosung★: It’s been a long time since we’ve heard from them. T_T

Jaehee Kang: They will talk to us when they are ready to.   

Yoosung★: (cry)

Yoosung★: But…

Jumin Han: There isn’t any need to get worked up over someone else’s private life.

Jaehee Kang: Exactly.  

Jaehee Kang: It’s not really anyone’s business but their own, so do not pressure them to.

Yoosung★: T_T I know…

Yoosung★: But,

Yoosung★: **would Zen really bring it up if he didn’t want to talk to us at least?**

Jaehee Kang: ;Well… you’re not wrong;;  

Yoosung★: I just have bad feelings about it, that’s all.

Yoosung★: I’m gonna play some LOLOL before bed

Yoosung★: Good night, everyone…

[Yoosung has left the chatroom.]

707: …

707: ..

707: .

707: dje;kl;,

Jumin Han: Is that really necessary?

Jaehee Kang: I agree.

Jaehee Kang: Could you please refrain from spamming the chatroom?

707: Srry yo ^^

Jumin Han: Do you have something you wish to say,

Jumin Han: or is it just that time of night again?

707: Yes;;

707: ;;;uhm...

707: ;;;;;

707: **Zen and ___ just left in an ambulance.**

Jaehee Kang: (shocked)

Jumin Han: What?

Jumin Han: When?

707: Hmm…  

707: exactly

707: 12.47 minutes ago

707: now 12.52.  

Jumin Han: Assistant Kang.

Jaehee Kang: Yes?;;

Jumin Han: Find out what hospital they were taken to,

Jumin Han: and send for Driver Kim.

Jaehee Kang: (seriously)

Jaehee Kang: Is it really okay to intrude on their privacy?

Jumin Han: This is much more serious now that one of RFA’s members is in the hospital.

Jaehee Kang: … but would it really be okay to go at this time of night?;;;

Jumin Han: I believe we have a contract, Assistant Kang.  

Jaehee Kang: Yes, Mr. Han.

[Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom.]

Jumin Han: Luciel.

707: Mr. Director Trust Fund.

Jumin Han: …

Jumin Han: When did you install CCTV cameras at their apartment?  

707: Who said I installed them?

707: (huh?)

Jumin Han: I cannot think of a stranger person who would.

Jumin Han: Will you be meeting us at the hospital?

707: I can’t.

707: (cry)

707: The Defender of Justice has a constant duty to protect the world of binary.

707: I cannot let it fall to peril!

707: *AAHHHH AHHH*

707: Oh, the screams!!;;

707: I have a world to go save!

707: Adios!!!

[707 has left the chatroom.]

Jumin Han: (seriously)

Jumin Han: I will go pick up Yoosung.

[Jumin Han has left the chatroom.]  

\----------------------------------------  

“She’s going to be alright, right?” Zen asks desperately as he turns over the signed papers to the nurse, an expression that would break even the most hollow of hearts fitted on his face.

“I assure you we will do all we can. Please, wait out here while we tend to your wife, Mr. Ryu,” the nurse tries her best to reassure him as she exits the waiting room.

He turns and scans the dull room before him; the rows of chairs in the center and lining the white walls of the open space, the sterile scent of the frigid atmosphere stinging his sinuses as strangers scattered about cough and slouch in their misery. _There’s so many open seats to sit in, but is it even possible to try to relax right now? How can I when there’s no definite answer that my wife and child are okay?_ Pacing around with his hand rubbing the back of his neck, he finds some courage to sit down in a chair against the wall only to stand the moment his rear makes contact with it. His aching heart is pounding a mile a minute, his throat tensing up like he wants to scream. _This is all my fault. I should have known sooner and done something about it._ He just feels like running until his anxiety can’t keep up with him anymore.

Both of his hands slide up past his unbound locks and entangle in the mess on top of his head. He paces more vigorously, keeping his eyes locked on the ground beneath him while he tries to fight off the urge to hyperventilate. _I shouldn’t have acted like that. It’s all my fault. It’s all my damn fault._ Just as he feels like bursting out through the front entrance to explode from the overwhelming pain of his frustrations, a familiar voice sounds from across the room.

“Zen!” Yoosung calls out, running over to the actor as Jumin and Jaehee trail behind.

“Yoosung, slow down,” Jaehee tries to correct him, but obviously goes ignored.

Zen looks up as the young blond approaches and quickly removes his hands from his hair, not bothering to fix the attractively disheveled pieces sticking out. His body sways as Yoosung barrels into him, grabbing near his shoulders and peering up at the taller man.

“Zen, what happened? Are you alright? Is ___ okay?” he asks frantically, his violet eyes widening as he witnesses the actor’s eyes swell with moisture. “... Zen?”

Zen wraps his arms around the small frame in front of him and squeezes tightly, trying to hide his face the best he can as tears spill from his eyes, “It’s all my fault, Yoosung.”

Yoosung tenses at the sudden gesticulation, “What? Zen-”

“She was sick- and I didn’t do anything about it,” he breaks into sobs, his chest shaking the boy as he gasps raggedly. “I-I shouldn’t have yelled- at her…”

“This is not your fault. Do not blame yourself,” Jumin’s deep, but still rather emotionless voice expresses.

“WHAT DO YOU KNOW, JERK?” Zen spits contemptuously at the composed man, releasing Yoosung and wiping his own cheek with the back of his wrist.

Nurses and several people look towards the small group trying to console the nerve-rattled man.

“Is everything alright?” a nurse behind the front desk calls out in their direction.

Yoosung pipes up, frazzled and smiling nervously, “Y-yeah. He’s fine.”

Jaehee places her hand on Zen’s arm and guides him towards an empty chair behind him, “Zen, please try to calm down. I will go get you some water.”

Zen buries his face in his hands as Yoosung sits beside him and rubs his back, trying to comfort his friend the best he can. His breath trembles out as he tries to collect himself. _The last thing I need right now is that cat freak taking pity on me._ Jaehee returns with a small paper cup of water and holds it out to Zen as she kneels by his feet.

“Thank you, Jaehee,” he sniffles, gratefully taking it from her. “Wait, take my seat. I can’t let a lady sit on the floor.”

Jaehee motions for Zen to sit back down, giving him a flattered smile, “No, I’m quite alright. I prefer to talk to people face to face anyways. You need to relax right now.”

He hesitantly sits and takes a sip of his water, leaning forward on his arms, “Why are you all here?”

Yoosung speaks up first, giving a short, light-hearted laugh as he leans back in his seat and stuffs his hands into his pockets, “Well, Jumin came over and practically dragged me from my game. All he said was we needed to go to the hospital and to ask questions later. I just hope I don’t get banned for leaving mid-battle.”

Zen chuckles softly, a small grin briefly playing on his lips, “It’d probably be a good thing if you do. You spend half your life on that game anyways.”

“I do not!” Yoosung whines in protest as Jaehee speaks up. “Luciel informed us in the chatroom that an ambulance had taken you and ___ to the hospital. Mr. Han insisted we come and lend our support.”

Zen casts a glance up at Jumin, the dark-haired man’s arms folded and appearing as stoic as always. _What’s with this guy always being in the center of everything?_

“You really didn’t have to,” Zen grits out.

“I felt it was imperative we came as ___ is a close friend and an important member of our organization. And judging by your state as we walked in, I’d say it was a wise decision,” Jumin states matter-of-factly.

Zen balls his fists in aggravation, crushing the half-empty cup of water in his hand, the water soaking a patch of his pajama pants, “You just have to go there, don’t you?”

“Zen,” Jaehee places her hand on his arm, speaking in a tone and giving him a look that tells him ‘not right now’.

_There is some truth to Jumin’s statement, though. Would I really have been fine riding this out all on my own?_

“Sorry, Jaehee,” he apologizes and diverts his gaze to the crumpled cup in his hands. “Where’s Seven at, anyways?”

“Yeah!” Yoosung says excitedly as he sits up, looking between Jumin and Jaehee. “He’s coming, right?”

“From what he’s told me, he’s regretfully too busy ‘defending the world of binary’ right now,” Jumin answers indifferently.

Yoosung’s face falls and he slumps back down in his chair, groaning in disappointment, “Man… he never has time to hang out anymore. I haven’t seen him in almost a whole month.”

“Seven, that guy…” Zen titters, his anxiety finally moving more towards the back of his mind. “That guy is so bizarre.”

“Yes, Luciel is rather unpredictable,” Jaehee chimes in.

Zen settles himself more into his chair as he starts to feel himself relax. _Maybe it was a good thing they came._

“Mr. Ryu?” a nurse calls out, her eyes scanning around the waiting room.

Everyone’s heads turn and stare at the woman standing in front of the door leading to a section of the ER. Zen raises his hand until her eyes meet his. He lends his hand out to Jaehee and helps her stand with him, Yoosung following suit as the group directs their attention to the nurse heading their way. His heart rate picks up again with each step closer she takes, his nerves hitching the breath in his lungs.

“Are these your friends?” she asks, glancing at the three standing beside him.

_Are they really just friends after all this time? No, they’ve become so much more over the years. They’ve stuck by me through all my antics and have never cast me aside like my former friends and relatives have. There’s far more comfort being with these people than even with my ‘theatre family’. This is what a real family is supposed to feel like, right? Even though they’re not blood and one of the members is just barely tolerable, the RFA is my family; every single one of them._

“They’re family,” he says somewhat proudly, glancing down at a blushing Yoosung.

“Ah,” the nurse smiles. “Now, before I say anything else, your wife is conscious-”

“Oh, thank God…” Zen breathes out loudly as he bows forward and presses his hands on his knees, interrupting the woman.

Zen visibly relaxes more as he straightens up. _Thank god, she's conscious. But what about the baby; is she alright? Wait, should everyone be here for this?_

The nurse lets out a mild laugh and goes on, “She told me you were expressive. She’s conscious and said to tell you ‘it’s alright’. Do you wish to speak privately or is it okay to discuss things in the presence of your family?”

 _‘It’s alright’? Does that mean…?_ Zen briefly looks around at the RFA members, reading each of their expressions before deciding.

“Yeah, they can stay. They should know by now,” he says with ease despite the nerves assaulting his mind and body.

_I can’t believe this is how they’re going to find out about the baby. Please, let there still be a baby. Please, both of them be okay._

“Your wife arrived severely dehydrated, so we have her on IV fluids and nutritional supplementation as she’s lost quite a bit of weight since her last doctor’s visit. Other than that, both her and the baby’s heart rates are strong”, she pauses, smiling at the other members’ wide-eyed expressions.

“B-” Yoosung’s jaw drops in realization as he stares at the long-haired man. “Wha… ZEN YOU’RE HAVING A BABY?”

“Yeah-” Zen smiles effortlessly as the smaller man shakes him in his excitement before Jaehee eases him down.

“Congratulations, Zen,” Jaehee tips her glasses up more onto her nose and smiles approvingly.

A hand gently squeezes his shoulder, and Zen twists his neck to meet a smiling Jumin, “Congratulations.”

His initial reaction is to shake his hand off, but he doesn’t want to turn this moment sour. He’s finally gotten the relief he’s been so desperately seeking _._

“Her doctor will discuss with you further options for treatment in the morning, but until we get their clearance, we’ll be monitoring her for the rest of the night”, the nurse continues. “Unfortunately, we can only allow one person to see her at this time due to safety precautions. Let the front desk know when you’re ready to go back and see her, and someone will show you to her room, alright?”

Zen nods and thanks the nurse before she returns to her duties. He turns back towards his friends, or family rather, and looks at them apologetically.

“It’s alright, Zen. Call us if you need anything”, Jaehee speaks up.

“Yes. If you need a ride home, I will send a driver to take you there or anywhere you need to go,” Jumin adds in, fiddling with the cuff of his dress shirt.

“You don’t need to be so generous all the time. I’ll just catch a cab”, Zen says, avoiding eye contact as he rubs his neck.

“I’ll bring you some snacks or something since I don’t have classes tomorrow! Just tell me what you want and I’ll get it!” Yoosung chirps and already appears like he’s standing at the ready.

Zen chuckles, “You don’t need to do that, Yoosung. Although, hospital food is pretty terrible, so I might have to take you up on that offer.”

“In that case, I’ll send a driver to Yoosung’s,” Jumin insists. “Regardless if you want my help or not, I suggest you have one of my drivers take you home when ___ is released. Cabs are unsanitary and they’ll only hinder her recovery rate.”

Zen clenches his jaw and tries biting back his annoyance at Jumin’s persistence, “Fine. I’ll think about it.”

“We’ll leave you to ___ now,” Jaehee speaks up, cutting through the tension growing in the atmosphere again.

“Yeah! Get on the messenger whenever you can and let us know how things are going!” Yoosung twinkles, looking up at Zen with that innocent charm of his.

“Keep your eyes open,” Zen replies as he pulls Yoosung into a brotherly hug.

He retracts away from the giddy kid and scratches his own head, looking off to the side, “Gosh, umm… thanks, you guys. I don’t think I could have kept my sanity without you.”

Everyone except Jumin blushes.

He instead smiles and folds his arms, his smirk possibly unintentionally irking Zen, “You’re welcome.”

Zen gives Jaehee a hug before glaring back at Jumin. Feeling she’d rather stay out of the bickering match about to happen, she motions over to Yoosung, “Yoosung, let’s go wait with Driver Kim.”

Yoosung gives her a puzzled look and points at Jumin.

“But don’t we have to wait f-” Jaehee cuts him off by pushing him towards the front entrance, and he follows once he gets the memo.

“What’s that cheesy grin for?” Zen directs at Jumin, folding his arms as well.

“I was just thinking about how you called us family earlier,” Jumin states. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard you say it.”

An inaudible growl rumbles Zen’s throat as he retorts, “Yeah? Well, don’t feel too flattered. You still just barely make the cut.”

“Say as you wish. It just feels good to know that you depend on me,” he continues to smile, remaining unfazed by Zen’s remarks. “I must get going, though, as I have an early day tomorrow. Take care, both of you.”

Jumin turns and heads towards the doors Yoosung and Jaehee exited through, ending the small argument in his favor.

“Yeah, you too, jerk,” Zen mutters under his breath as he watches the corporate heir leave.

Jumin chuckles lightly to himself knowing he’s still under watch, and Zen clenches his fists as his blood starts to boil. _This is all just a game to him, huh? But now’s not the time to bother playing along. Right now, ___ is most important._ Sighing he makes his way to the front desk.

“I’m ready to see my wife now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it felt rushed.


	8. A Solution- Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! Sorry for the wait. It must be the heat or something I was doing pretty much everything but writing DX  
> I've attached some links to my artwork and a music V-deo I made. My puns are shit. Some of my drawings are a little smeary, but I think it was just from my scanner. If anyone uses GIMP or paints on the computer and has tips for coloring hair and stuff, I'd appreciate it. :)

“Here’s her room. There’s blankets and a reclining chair in there, so you’re more than welcome to spend the night, alright?” the nurse says as she knocks on the door and opens it. “Mrs. Ryu, your husband’s here to see you.”

Zen thanks her and enters, the door closing behind him. The steady beeps of your heart rate bounce off the walls of the comfortably sized room. His eyes immediately fall onto the IV drip connecting to your arm. Another tube overlaps it and he follows it up to where it’s taped to your nose. The pain from earlier resurfaces and pumps its way throughout his entire body as he finally lands on your tired eyes. _This is all because of me._

“___…” he breathes out, his vision blurring with tears.

You give him the best smile you can muster through the amount of discomfort the tube running down your throat causes.

Your voice is weak, but just loud enough to discern what you’re saying, “Hyun…”

“___,” his lower lip trembles as he rushes to you, tears streaming down his face. “I’m so sorry, ___.”  

You hold your unprobed arm out to him and he slips under it, not knowing or really even caring if you’re holding it out to keep him at a distance or to just hold his hand. He needs to be as close to you as possible. _There isn’t a thing in this world that will keep me from you now, no matter how upset you are; and especially after what happened when I let my emotions take advantage of the situation._ He covers nearly every inch of your face in tender, loving kisses with each beat of your heart on the monitor. Relishing the familiar comfort of his smooth, plumped lips leaving damp ovals all along your forehead and cheeks, you close your eyes and giggle in your head. _This is the nicest thing I’ve felt all day._

“Please… forgive me…” he whimpers, gasping occasionally as his love for you drips onto your cheek. “It-It’s… all my fault…”

You stare up at him with a puzzled expression and use your thumb to wipe away the moisture continuously sliding down his soft skin. The feeling of him trembling beneath your touch is completely foreign to you. _I’ve never seen him this distraught before._   

“Hey… it’s not your fault,” you say softly, speaking to the ruby eyes that gaze into yours.

Zen shakes his head and continues to degrade himself, “I-I should ha-ave done mor-”

“Shh… Zen,” you interrupt him as his words are becoming less intelligible. “Calm down… I can’t understand you.”

He sucks in his breath a few times in an attempt to quell his blubbering, “I… I lost my temper… instead of supported you… and it’s my fault you’re in here.”

You shake your head gently to avoid pulling on your nasogastric tube too much and move the hand on his back up to his face, cupping both of his cheeks. The sleek, plastic sleeve on your finger only detracts from the comfort you’re trying to give him.

“But you did support me,” you speak gently. “It’s my fault I’m here.”

Zen looks at you quizzically. _Did you hit your head when you fell or something?_

“No! I should have known better! You were sick… for all that time…”  

You hold your ungloved finger over his lips to quiet him. _He shouldn’t suffer for my faults._

“Don’t beat yourself up. You did what you thought was right. I was too distracted to think anything more of it,” you whisper, your throat becoming more agitated the longer you go on. “I should have done my part and acted like a mother.”  

He takes your hand from his lips and holds it tightly in his hands, “And I should have acted more like a husband! And a father! You depended on me and I didn-”

_This guy just won’t let up, will he?_

“Zen!” you raise your voice, grimacing back a gag and bracing your throat with your free hand.  

Zen gazes down at you with concern, his tears halting as his fear for your well-being overtakes all of his other emotions. _Here I go again with causing her more pain. Maybe now’s not the right time to talk about all this, though._ Realizing he needs to settle himself down and focus on making you comfortable, he brings the hand in his fists to his lips and kisses your knuckles.  

He sniffles and wipes the streaks on his face with the back of his hand, giving you a soft smile, “Don’t strain yourself, Princess. I can’t have you staying here longer than you need to.”

You meet his sweet expression and blink slowly at him, your lips curving at the edges to let him know you’re thankful for him changing the subject. _Right now, I just want to forget why I’m even hospitalized in the first place._

“Hurt too much?” he asks as he brushes your hair back with a free hand.

You lightly nod and he lets go of your hand, pulling out your cell phone from a pocket in his pajama bottoms.  

“Here. Write out what you want to say and I’ll answer you in person,” he says, sniffling up the last of his dramatic display as he sits on the bed and hands you your phone.   

Waking your phone, you open up the text messaging screen and begin typing away.

[Blank]

**I’m not upset with you at all. Please just lay with me. Tell me everything you’ve read about pregnancy. I want to be more responsible for our child. We both agreed to this, right? :)**

You flip your phone back around and watch as Zen reads it, his lips mouthing the words as his eyes skim across the message like a script. _You’re not psychic by any chance, are you? It’s not the first time you’ve said things that have been on my mind, but maybe it’s just even more of an indicator that we’re truly fated to be together._ He smiles and adjusts himself on the narrow bed, propping himself up with his hand under his jaw. You notice the damp patch on his pajama pants as his leg overlaps yours slightly.

“What do you want to know first?” he asks, focusing on twirling a strand of your hair around the index finger of his free hand.

You glance up at him and smirk before typing out your next message.

[Blank]

**What’s up with your pants and hair? Lol**

Nudging him with your elbow, he looks over your shoulder and raises a brow, removing his hand from your hair and smacking it on top of his head to fix his own.

“Babe, that’s not anything I’ve read about! Although, it could be if one of those nurses is a secret fan of mine,” he plays it off smoothly. “Maybe you’ll just have to wait until one of my fans posts about it online in order to find out.”   

Rolling your eyes, you pout and snap the waistband of his pants, earning a small yelp from him.    

“Hey! You’re not well enough to be doing tempting things like that,” he smiles, grabbing the wrist of the assaulting hand and kissing its fingertips. “But I’m glad you’re at least feeling better.”

Zen releases your hand and lets you return to your phone, admiring how much brighter your face has gotten since he’s come into the room. _When’s the last time it’s looked so full of life?_

[Blank]

 **They’ve got me on some anti-nausea medicine, so I’m feeling a lot better except for this darn tube going into my stomach. And of course you’re here now, so I can’t be happier :)**     

His face flushes at the last part of the message and the urge to kiss your lips flutters in his heart, but with the tube dangling over them, he’ll have to wait until another time.

Instead, he leans in, caressing your jaw lightly as he kisses your cheek multiple times, “You’re so cute.”

“Oh, by the way,” he utters against your skin, planting his lips on you with just about every other word, “Everyone in the RFA knows about the baby now.”

You turn to him with an expression that says ‘really?’ and he nods.  

“Yup! Seven told everyone we went to the hospital and everyone but him showed up. They heard everything from the nurse the same time I did,” he says twinkling at you. “That is what you meant by ‘it’s alright’, right?”   

 _Another perfect opportunity._ _It might not be the time for discussing why I’m here, but it most certainly doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun._ Feigning panic, you look up at him with horror and mouth ‘no’.   

He looks at you confusedly, his eyes wide with realization of his mistake, “What did you mean then?”

[Blank]

**I meant yeah that’s totally what I meant lolol**

“Babe! That’s not funny!” Zen playfully scolds you. “Tonight’s been so rough already. You can give me a hard time later, just don’t do it right now.”  

You ease your grin down and lightly nod in agreement. _Yeah, maybe tonight’s not the night for that either._

[Blank]   

**It was worth a shot. So what did everyone think? Did Jaehee give you a lecture? Lol**

He chuckles a bit, recalling everyone’s reactions, “I was half expecting it, but no, surprisingly. Everyone seemed really happy for us. Yoosung looked like a kid who just found out he was going to Disneyland, Jaehee looked like his mother, and Jumin touched me one too many times; getting handsy, that cat freak.”

 _Just as I imagined._ Stifling a giggle, you gently lean your head against the arm propping him up as you physically can’t give him a hug right now. Feeling you nuzzle him only increases his desire to be even closer to you.

“Here,” he suggests as he shifts his arm to beneath him and rests his ear on the top corner of the pillow. “Come closer. I’ve missed you so much, Princess."

His other arm carefully curves over the tube threaded through your nose and his hand braces behind your neck, helping ease you into his chest. The warmth emanating off him is so comforting against your temple. The subtle scent of his cologne; that masculine, herbal, lavender scent, lingers along his collarbone. You can faintly pick up on the drumming of his beating heart; the gentle whooshing of his breath forming a beautiful harmony. No matter how many times you hear this effortless lullaby, it still succeeds in drawing your eyes shut. It’s been so long since you’ve had a good night’s sleep. _I can’t fall asleep now, though! Zen just got here! But he feels so nice…_

“So, about what I’ve read, what do you want to know first?” his soft, low voice asks into your hair.

_Man, that voice is the perfect melody…_

“Princess?”  

Startled, you fling your eyes open and fumble with your phone, unaware that you started to drift off.  

Zen takes notice and grins, “Were you sleeping? I can tell you everything in the morning if you want to rest.”

[Blank]

**No! I was just thinking of what I wanted to ask and zoned out lol. How long have you been reading up about pregnancy?**

“Uhm, well…” he shifts a little and begins combing his fingers through your hair lightly, trying not to feel too embarrassed about the question, “You might think it’s a little strange, but when I decided I wanted to become a father; more than half a year ago. It was mostly just reading here and there until we actually started trying, though.”

[Blank]   

 **Hehe :) It’s not strange. You’re so cute. What did you find out about first?**   

“Psh… I’m not cute; Yoosung’s cute. If anything, I’m god-ishly handsome. There’s a difference,” he pouts, correcting you.  

 _This guy._ You flick him in the arm in order to get him back on topic as you know he can go on for hours about himself.

“Sorry,” he apologizes and hums as he thinks back. “Hmm… the first thing I read… probably about fertility. I found out alcohol and cigarettes lower the quality and count of my sperm, so I quit drinking and smoking.”  

_So, that’s why._

[Blank]

 **I was wondering why there wasn’t beer in the fridge anymore. And why you haven’t been going to the roof to smoke. I’m glad you’ve stopped though :)**    

“I want to be a good role model for our son or daughter, anyway,” a sly smile creeps onto his face and he chuckles, lowering his voice slightly, “I also wanted to get you on the first try.”  

Your mouth involuntarily drops open in amusement, and you nuzzle the side of your face into him playfully in response. _Gosh, he would say that._

[Blank]

**Of course you would lol. Sorry for not reading up on this stuff on my own, btw. I got so carried away with trying to make the party big enough and organizing everything that my mind was too drained to do anything else.**

“No, don’t worry about that, Princess. I can’t blame you. You’ve been doing such a great job, even through the last few weeks. I think you should relax a little more now, though. The party’s not until Christmas, so just focus on yourself and our baby,” he says sincerely, kissing the top of your head as he continues to run his fingers through your hair.   

As if his body’s natural autonomy is enough to remind you of how exhausted you are, the softness of his voice, gestures, and his touch only increase the lulling effect he has on you. Your head tingles and muscles relax as sleep starts to become less avoidable. _But I have to stay awake! He’s giving me important information!_

[Blank]   

**Yeah yor rught, wht elzzzzzzzzzzz**

Zen stares at your screen in confusion, trying to decipher what you mean until your grip on your phone weakens and falls limp in your hands. _Not tired my ass._

“Babe, get some rest. We can talk about all this stuff tomorrow, okay?” he says as he rubs your arm to alert you that he’s talking.   

A short burst of adrenaline wakes you and you lift your phone closer to your face, fighting back the sleep that’s weighing heavily on you. With squinting eyes, you blink slowly as you type out your next message.

[Blank]

 **No! I’m awake now! Just keep tlking to m. I want to kow morw**   

 _My wife is so adorable._ He sighs and smiles, continuing on about all he’s read as his fingers return to your hair. You nod against him as he informs you, attempting to reassure him you’re following along, but you really only catch bits and pieces of what he’s saying. Once he feels you finally nod off, he halts his motions and takes a few moments to soak you in; how surprisingly pleasant you still smell even after spending a miserable day on the bathroom floor, how soft your skin and hair feels in his hands, how peaceful your loose expression appears and breath feels against him, and how warming it is to see that ever so slightly bloated tummy he’s given you fill out the blanket you’re under. He slowly eases himself away from you and off of the bed, taking care in trying not to wake you as he pockets your phone again. Your consciousness returns just enough to shift yourself back into a more comfortable position.

“Sleep well,” he whispers as he kisses your forehead, thinking you’ve already slipped back off to dreamland.

He then moves down to your belly, pressing into the bed as he leans in to kiss it, “Princesses.”   

Carrying his tired self to the recliner, he plops down and gets himself comfortable for the night. Before your mind gives in to sleep, you briefly recall and attempt to process what you’ve just heard. _Did I hear that right? Princesses…?_

 

(Here's my attempt at drawing your husband lol)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to be a time jump in the next chapter. Kind of hinted at where it'll be. I'm thinking probably 3 more chapters but this story keeps surprising me lol 
> 
> My artwork: http://imgur.com/a/rUYop
> 
> V tribute music video (SPOILERS if you haven't gotten that far yet): https://youtu.be/a8UmrO3cASI 
> 
> I'm going to be heading to Scotland tomorrow evening and will be gone for a week, so the next chapter will also be a little late. Apologies ahead of time!


	9. The Christmas Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! THE PARTY!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait! Here's what happened:  
> 1- only able to find time to write 200 words during my trip with all traveling we were doing, 2- got a cold a day after getting back on the 7th, but still able to write my normal amount, 3- THIS THING HOLY SHIT! unintentionally wound up being 3 TIMES what I aim for (2k words), so I hope 6500+- words and a 30 minute doodle makes up for the nearly 3 week wait. My brain is completely spent, I feel like I need another vacation lol. I hope you guys enjoy it! I worked so hard on it this past week DX

“No… ugh. Yoosung, pass me that gold ornament,” you command the blondie as he passes by while you rearrange some bulbs on the tree.

“Hm?” he pauses at the box of ornaments at the base of the stepstool you’re standing on. “Oh, sure!”

He sets down his clipboard and reaches in, grabbing the most obviously visible ornament. Holding the shiny, softball-sized sphere up to you, he recoils slightly as your face contorts to one of disgust. “No! Oh my god. The small, glittery one that’s like the size of an apricot! It’s literally right there!” you bark, staring at him like he must have been dropped on his head.

“Sorry! Sorry!” he apologizes as he sets it off to the side.

Still not knowing which one you’re referring to as there are many, the frazzled boy instead grabs every gold ornament nestled in the box and holds them up to you for you to pick.

“Are you sure you should even be doing all this?” he responds nervously, carefully eyeing you to make sure you stay balanced. “Jumin said he’d hire people to set up everything.”

You grin and take the correct ornament from his hands, hanging it very particularly on a branch, “And he did, but you only get to do this kind of decorating once a year. Plus, I thought the trees could use my artistic touch based on how they looked last year.”

He nestles the decorations back into the tissue lined box as you start to step down from the short ladder.

Yoosung’s arm juts out in front of you before you can make your descent, “Oh! ___, take my hand. You have to be even more careful now.”

You snort at the overly considerate boy, “Yoosung, I’ve already gone up and down this thing multiple times now. I don’t think three steps are going to kill me.”

He frowns, shaking his arm tentatively in front of you a few times.

“But Zen’s going to kill me if he hears about you doing all this stuff without help! Plus, the trees are one of the last things I need to check off the list, so just think of it as part of my job,” Yoosung begs, looking as adorable as ever. “Please?”

_Oh, Yoosung._

Taking his hand, you giggle, “Okay, fine. I guess you’ll get to live to see another day.”

“T-Thanks…” he laughs in an uneasy fashion as his other hand comes to the middle of your back to hold you steady while you step down.

As soon as you’re safely back on the ground, he releases you and you both take a few paces back to examine the tree. You press your hands on your hips while you gaze up, making your considerably larger tummy poke out cutely in your flowy, floor-length, poinsettia themed gown. If you weren’t already gorgeous to begin with, you’re even more eye-catching now with the warm glow your pregnancy has given you. It’s difficult for anyone to keep their attention elsewhere.

“Looks good, right?” you say proudly, glancing over at Yoosung. “Yoosung?”

He shakes himself back to reality with the wave of your hand in his face.

“Huh? Y-Yeah, it looks even better than before! Sorry,” he chuckles as he rubs the back of his neck. “It’s just kind of amazing to think that there will be a new RFA member soon. How far along are you anyways?”

“Around 28 weeks, maybe just past it now that I think about it,” you smile as you rub one of your hands up and down your belly.

Yoosung stands there thinking and calculating with his fingers. _This kid._

You giggle, “It’s seven months, Yoosung.”

“I-I know! I was just figuring out their birthd-” he begins before you cut him off again.

“March 15th is when I’m due.”

His eyes grow wide and his mouth falls open.

“Wha… Wow! That’s so close to my birthday!” he exclaims in excitement. “You don’t think they’ll be born on my birthday, do you? That’d be so cool if they were!”

Shrugging, you reply with uncertainty, “Well, it’s possible. I wouldn’t be surprised if he or she came before your birthday. My doctor says Baby’s more likely to come early after that whole morning sickness thing I had going on…”

You now cradle the rounded mass centered on your midsection as you think back to those dreadful weeks. It grows silent for a few moments as he notices a slightly pained expression appear on your face.

“Yeah… I’m glad all it took was some medicine to help you feel better,” Yoosung twinkles, trying to brighten the atmosphere. “Zen was pretty cool, huh?”

Recalling what Zen told you about all that happened before you went to the hospital that night causes a fond smirk to play upon your lips, “Yeah, he really was.”

“I hope it’s me you’re talking about,” a remarkably handsome voice sounds between the two of you.

“Zen!” both you and Yoosung jump and turn towards him.

“I’m surprised they let you out of rehearsal this early,” you smile at the suddenly awestruck man.

 _Wow._ Zen’s eyes light up as they meet yours then scan around your face. Your eyes seem exceptionally bright tonight. The faint flush on your cheeks compliments the warm, dewy complexion of the rest of your skin.  _Has she_ _always looked this radiant? It can’t possibly the lighting since she hasn't looked this unbelievably beautiful at the past parties. Maybe it’s from the contrast of the colors in her gown._ Your collar bones just peak over the scoop of the neckline of your dress. The dark fabric molds to you so perfectly, making your swelling breasts look so inviting. _If I just brought her behind that tree I could just bur- No, no, no; don’t get worked up now._

His gaze diverts just below your breasts to your abdomen protruding beneath the patterned skirt of your dress. If his heart wasn’t barred in by his ribs, he’s certain it would flutter out and away with how fast it’s pounding right now.  _She's_ _so perfect._ It’s not as if you weren’t beautiful from the back when he approached you, but something in seeing you front on heightens his instincts. Maybe it’s because your heart is even more noticeably claimed by him now. Whatever the reason, restraining the intense desire to claim your lips isn’t a possibility anymore. He grabs your wrist and pulls you into him.

“Zen?” muffles out of you as his hands quickly move to your cheeks to press you into a kiss.

Yoosung’s eyes impossibly widen even more before looking elsewhere with a bashful smile. Feeling like a third wheel, he retrieves his clipboard from the floor.

“U-Umm, I’ll go see if anything else needs to be done. See you guys later,” he murmurs as he rolls away, letting you and Zen have a moment.

You melt into him as his hands remove themselves from your face and migrate to the dip in your back.

Breaking away from your lips, his loving gaze meets yours, “How’s Mama and Baby? Getting lots of kicks today?”

“Mama’s doing really good. Even more so now that her super cool and handsome husband is here,” you grin, wrapping your arms up around his neck. “Baby’s doing really well too. If you had been here 10 minutes earlier you could have heard from Baby yourself.”

Zen pouts, moving his hands to the sides of your belly, “Gosh, everytime I’m away. Am I ever going to feel them kicking?”

“I think I’ve lulled them to sleep, but if you’re lucky,” you say warmly, giving his lips a quick peck before unraveling your arms from around him, “Baby goes wild during dinner too, so I bet you’ll get to feel some kicks tonight.”

He smiles at the open promise and drops down to a knee. You blush as you watch him rub small circles with his hands while he speaks to your tummy.

“You heard Mama, so don’t keep hiding from your dad. Otherwise, I might take it the wrong way. You don’t want to hurt Daddy’s feelings, right?” he says in a playfully stern manner.

“Zen,” you giggle, gently slapping one of his hands to signal him to stand up. “Not here, it’s embar-”

“Already disciplining your kid before they’re born?” a deep voice speaks up from a few feet away.

Zen stands and sighs, snaking an arm behind you to lightly hold you into his side as he diverts his attention to the dark haired man.

“What’s it to you, jerk?” he mutters snidely at Jumin.

You stomp your foot on Zen’s to discipline your child of a husband and try to keep things civilized between the two.

“Hi, Jumin. How are things? Is everything just about ready?” you ask over Zen’s hissing.

Jumin unfolds his arms and fiddles with his cufflinks, “Just about. The trees are the only thing left undone. I trust you’ll be able to finish them within the next hour?”

Zen looks around the room and takes count of the numerous trees still left bare.

His brow furrows in annoyance as he struggles to bite back his words, “You can’t just expect a pregnant lady to do all that work in such a short amount of time! Do you have any decency?”

“I believe you should ask yourself that question,” Jumin counters, looking quite pleased with himself.

“Hey! Knock it off,” you snap at the bickering couple, composing yourself once more. “If I get some help, I believe I can. Forty-five minutes until the first guest arrives, right?”

Jumin glances down at his watch briefly, returning to a formal tone, “Yes. I’ll have Yoosung send someone over to assist you. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

Both you and Zen watch as he walks off, waiting until he seems out of range before you turn to scold your child’s father.

“Why can’t you two just get along? I thought things were getting better back when you accepted to model for his cat food line a few years back. What happened?” you ask frustratedly, pulling away from the actor to face him directly with your hands planted firmly on your hips.

“Babe, you just saw how that cat freak provokes me! How else am I supposed to react?” he starts off, his lips fighting back a smile while he braces the back of his neck with his hand.

“I don’t know!” your hands come back to your hips after shrugging animatedly. “But you could act a little more grateful after all the help he’s given you! He wouldn’t be a bad person to cons- what are you smiling for?”

He chuckles, tracing your jaw with a finger as he leans in, “You’re just way too cute; especially with that adorable belly of yours.”

Your face heats up, partially in flattery and partially in irritation in that he doesn’t seem to be taking you seriously. You’re not sure how to process the situation, especially since his lips are less than a couple inches from yours. _But, I’m trying to make an important point to him right now. Is this all a joke to him? Why can’t he realize I’m actually genuinely concerned?_

“Stop making fun of me!” you step back from him, your voice raising higher than you were expecting.

 _Uh oh._ You bite on your lower lip as you feel it start to tremble, unsuccessfully fighting back the tears that spring into your eyes. Zen’s smile disappears as he realizes what’s happening. _Not again..._

“Babe, I’m not making fun of you,” he tries to reassure you, reaching for your hands.

Hiding your hands away, your raging hormones turn you from your spouse and send you storming away.

“Babe!” he calls to you, unmoving from the spot you’ve left him standing in.

Sighing, he watches you have an internal conflict with yourself as you can’t decide whether to go to the bathroom to finish crying or start finishing up the trees. Deciding it’s best to do the second option, you head back to the tree Zen’s standing near, avoiding all eye contact as you fold up the step stool. Being too heavy to carry with just one arm on your hip, you waddle away with it awkwardly in front of you. _Stop. That’s not funny._ He suppresses the snicker that nearly escaped him and continues to eye you as he knows it’s sometimes better to just let you ride out your hormonal outbursts by yourself. Only when you slow down and frustratedly heave the short ladder to the ground does he rush to help you.

“I’ll get that for you, Princess,” he says charmingly as he easily swoops it up from the ground and opens it at the next tree. “And that too.”

His palm brushes your lower back as he passes you to get the box of ornaments, not allowing you to take another step forward.

He returns quickly, looking to you for direction, “Where do you want these?”

Sniffling, you point next to the ladder before drying your tears with the backs of your hands. You grab a few various sized ornaments from the box and head up the few steps, trying to refocus on the task at hand. Zen observes your work on the previous tree and digs through the box to find the decorations that go in the area you’re sprucing up.

“You know that I wasn’t teasing you, right?” he asks for clarity as he holds up a handful of shimmery stars for you.

“I-I know,” you mumble, sniffling in the snot that’s accumulated in the back of your sinuses. “That’s not why I’m crying.”

He looks up at you quizzically, “Huh?”

_What could I have done to you, then?_

“Gosh, do you really not know?” you mutter while you pluck the plastic shapes from his hands.

Silence falls between the two of you briefly before you slice through it, “You would know if you actually listen to me.”

His brows furrow even more at your cold words. It’s just your pregnancy talking. Don’t feel too hurt.

“I do listen to you, thou-” he begins, being cut off by more of your tears.

“Then why don’t you t-take me seriously-y?” you sob, dropping the ornament in your hands as you bring your fists to your eyes.

Feeling uncomfortable seeing you cry at such a height, he decides to take matters into his own hands, “Alright.”

He comes behind you and firmly wraps his arms around your legs, lifting you from your place on the stool.

“Z-Zen!” you yelp, being set down on the ground again.

He straightens himself, one hand pulling you in as close as your belly will allow while his other brings a finger under your chin, tilting your teary gaze to meet his near 6 foot stature.

“___, look at me,” his Christmas red eyes bore into you apologetically, his voice low and sincere. “I’ve listened to every word you’ve said since the very first day you came into my life-”

His soft lips press against yours for a short second before continuing on, “And I have felt them like you have meant them-”

Another sweet kiss.

“Because ever since that day, I vowed to myself to get to know you, to think as you think, and to feel as you feel-”

And another.

“And to know that, for the first time, I’ve been imperfect… and missed something, pains me like nothing else,” he barely whispers, bringing his hands up to caress the sides of your face. “I want to be perfect for you, ___; I always have. So, please let me make everything right. I’m so sorry, Princess."

Your breath shudders against his wrists as his thumbs rub your tears away. Just as he smooths one into your skin, another dewy drop falls and brings more of your mascara with it.

“Hey, you don’t need cry,” he smiles, rubbing his thumbs across your cheeks more quickly. “Gosh, so many tears. Don’t get dehydrated now, I don’t think they’ve even poured drinks yet.”

You suck in a lungful of air and wail, “Why do y-you have to be s-so ni-ice?”

“Sorry to interrupt, but we were instructed to come over here to help with the trees,” a young man awkwardly speaks up with two other assistants at his heel.

“Yes, sorry, can you give us just a moment?” Zen responds charmingly over your sobbing, wrapping an arm around your waist from behind before escorting you away towards the bathroom.

“Shh… take a deep breath, babe. We’ll talk when the party’s over, okay?” he soothes as you near the entrance to the ladies’ room.

Hiccupping, you nod your head, “O-Ok-ay-y…”

“I don’t want you staying in there too long, so come out smiling for me quickly, hm?” he says with an uneasy lilt, leaning down eye-level with you, his hands clasping your shoulders.

The memory of you lying nearly lifeless in his arms haunts him time and again during your numerous bathroom trips out in public. It’s unnerving for him to just sit and wait and not be able to monitor your well-being in there. If it weren’t for the social repercussions and risk of tabloids trying to damage his career, he’d go in there with you without a second thought. Sure, he knows it might be a little ridiculous to think something as extreme as that would happen again, but he can never be too certain. _I thought she would’ve been fine that time, but in reality, she truly wasn't._ Despite replacing the door frame, he practically begs you to at least keep the bathroom door cracked just in case. It would be another huge blow to your bank account if he had to replace it again.

All the money you’ve both saved up over the years went straight to paying off the enormous hospital bill from that night. He even offered to sell his motorcycle since he hardly takes it for a ride anymore, but you still insist he keeps it because of how much you know he really doesn’t wish to part with it. To him, though, it doesn’t really matter what he possesses. He’d give up his home, his career, his looks, just as long as he can have you and his child, he’d be the happiest man on earth as unrealistic as that seems. And he’d build himself up over and over again if that’s what it takes to keep the love in your heart. As long as you’re the light in his life, he’s motivated to be the best husband he can be.

He scans the room before letting you go off on your own, “Maybe we can find someone t- Oi! Jaehee!”

 _Perfect. She won’t be alone._ Jaehee stops in front of the bathroom door she just exited from. She greets you both with a smile until she notes the dark smears beneath your eyes and the snot beginning to stream out of your nose.

“Oh, my. ___, are you okay?” she asks tentatively, concern laced on her features.

You nod as Zen explains, “She’s just a little worked up. Can you keep an eye on her until she’s calmed down a bit? I don’t want to leave her in there by herself, if you get where I’m coming from.”

Jaehee hesitates for a moment, the responsibilities Mr. Han assigned to her for the party tonight and the understanding for Zen’s reasoning flying around in her mind as she considers an answer.

“Yes, but I’m afraid I’ll have to leave her a few minutes before the party starts as I have to greet the guests as they enter,” she states formally, readjusting her glasses.

“Good! Phew,” he breathes a sigh of relief. “Let me know if she’s not ready by the time you need to leave and I’ll come fix her up myself. And don’t worry about the trees, ___, I’ll make sure they do them right. You just focus on yourself, alright?”

He winks at you reassuringly before passing you off to your female friend.

“Thank you, Jaehee. I’ll make it up to you somehow; tickets alright?” he asks as he starts to head off towards the people working on the trees.

Jaehee’s eyes light up in a fangirl sparkle, “YES! Ahem, I mean yes, I really appreciate the offer, thank you.”

You snort at her in amusement, the last of your hysterics clearing up as she leads you into the bathroom.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, ___.”

 

\----------------------------------------

 

“Wow! You’ve got yourself a keeper there. So, have you found out the sex yet?” a well-dressed, female guest converses with you excitedly.

“No, not yet,” you say as you admire your rounded tummy. “I think it’d be kind of fun to find out when they’re born.”

The female guest nods and takes a sip of her wine, “That’s still exciting, though; maybe even more so! But do you have any suspicions? Any hints that it’s a boy or a girl?”

“Hmm…” you hum, tapping your chin as you think back. “Well, I don’t… but I think Zen does.”

“What is it I do?” Zen butts in, hugging you into his side by your shoulder and giving your temple a quick kiss.

“Nothing! Just talking about our little baby right here,” you simper, leaning into his touch while both of your hands rub your belly playfully. “I’m trying to wake them up so you can finally feel some kicks!”

“He hasn’t felt them kicking yet?” the female guest exclaims, nearly spitting out her beverage.

Both you and Zen shake your heads as you respond, “No, I’ve only started feeling them a few weeks ago, and he’s been gone at rehearsal every time Baby’s rolled around in there. But dinner should get them wiggling, so he should get to feel quite a few kicks tonight!”

“Oh, my gosh! Don’t let me keep you, then! Go feed your baby; go, go!” she waves both of you off with a smile before she disappears into the rest of the crowd.

You gaze up at Zen and he returns your look, seemingly knowing exactly what you’re thinking.

“Shall we, my lady?” he sings flirtatiously as he rotates and directs your bodies in the direction of the dining area.

Just before you can take another step, another guest interrupts your progress.

“Excuse me, you’re an RFA member, right?” a suited male taps on Zen’s shoulder. “They’re having some issues with the sound system and I think they need help.”

Zen half frowns, trying not to feel too annoyed, “Alright, I’ll head over there. Thank you for letting us know.”

The man nods and shuffles off to join a cluster of people clearly enjoying themselves.

“God, if Seven would’ve just sacked up and come, I could’ve just left it to him,” Zen groans, continuing to walk you to the buffet table.

“I’m sure he has his own reasons. Are you sure you’ve got it? I can ask Jumin to call someone in to fix it,” you rub the back of his hand with your thumb as you stop at the end of the short line leading up to it.

“No, I’ve got it. Some idiot probably just tripped on a cord or something,” he assures with a smile, bringing your hand up to his lips for a quick peck. “You learn how to do everything in theatre, so it’s nothing new to me. You just sit tight, Princess, and do what you’ve got to do to get Baby dancing, alright?”

With that, you wave as he vanishes into the sea of people. Turning, you grab a plate and load it up with various amounts of food; fruit and some sort of alfredo pasta being the main items of your choosing. At a distant table sits Yoosung and Jaehee, Yoosung just finishing up his meal to go back on his shift of hosting.

He spots you, the red flowers of your dress catching the corner of his eye, and waves you over, “___! Come sit over here!”

Yoosung pulls out the empty chair next to him and helps you ease into it.

“Thanks, Yoosung. So how’s everything going so far?” you ask as you settle yourself in, opening your small, clutch purse.

“It seems like everything is going really well. Everyone seems really happy,” Yoosung chirps, leaning back in his chair and looking off into the distance. “Where’s Zen at? Is he still getting dinner?”

You shake your head as you dig through your bag, “No, he’s over there helping with the sound system. He shouldn’t take too long.”

From your purse, you pull out a little baggy filled with colorful, chocolate candies and dump some on your plate. The clinking sound on your plate draws Jaehee’s attention away from her food, but doesn’t dare say a word with her mouth full.

“M&M’s…? They have those here?” the blond-haired boy looks between your plate and in the direction of the buffet table.

“No,” you chuckle, using a fork to scoot a couple pieces of the candy along with a strawberry onto your pasta. “I brought them from home.”

Both Yoosung and Jaehee stare at you baffled as they watch you bring a forkful of your concoction to your mouth and chew delightedly.

“U-Umm…” he thinks out loud, missing the glare Jaehee flashed him in hopes he wouldn’t ask about it. “Do you eat that often?”

“Hm? Oh,” you giggle, taking a sip of your water. “Nope! Just sounded really good right now. I mean, if you think about it it’s kind of like having a cheese plate after dinner. You know, with the chocolate and fruit; you’ve had one before, right?”

Yoosung opens his mouth to respond, but Jaehee beats him to it, “I have before, yes. That actually makes a lot of sense when you put it that way.”

It falls silent as you and Jaehee continue with your meal.

“The food’s really good this time around,” Yoosung pipes up, not knowing what to do with himself for the last few minutes of his break.

You nod, wiping your mouth with a napkin as you swallow, “Mhm! Yeah, Baby’s really liking- oh, my god; the baby!”

Your overly-excited remembrance startles the young man sitting next to you and a few people standing nearby.

“Yoosung, go get Zen!” you lightly slap his arm repeatedly until he stands up.

“Wait, is everything okay?” has asks, so panicked he doesn’t notice that Jaehee already seems to know what you’re going on about.

You wave him off and nod, “Yes! Just go get him!”

Yoosung flies away and politely pushes through the crowd until he spots Zen examining the soundboard with the people attending it.

“Zen! Sorry, excuse me”, he shouts as he makes his way past the last few people. “Zen!”

The actor looks up and sees the young blond running towards him. He excuses himself from the mess of cords and is immediately dragged by the arm into the swarm of chit-chatting guests.

“Yoosung, what’s going on? Hey!” Zen asks the boy demandingly as he follows.

Yoosung turns his head to the older male as he keeps walking, “It’s ___! She yelled something about the baby and- wh- Zen?”

Pulling away from the younger RFA member, Zen skillfully weaves in and out of the party-goers, apologizing for his need to hurry. One of two things floats around in his mind; either something’s wrong and you need help, or the baby’s kicking. Regardless of whether or not the situation is dire, he still needs to get to you as quickly as he possibly can. A huge wave of relief washes over him when he sees you turned towards Jaehee, happily conversing with her as you poke around an area of your belly. You look up and scan the mass of people filling the room until you spy tufts of unmistakeable, silvery hair edging closer.

“Zen! Hurry! Come, come, come!” you squeal as you motion for him to come over.

Jaehee offers her seat to your husband, but his attention is solely fixated on you. He braces himself with one hand on the back of your chair as he leans down to be closer to you.

“Here! Right here,” you say as you take his free hand and place it on that same area of your tummy.

You place your palm on the back of his hand and he concentrates deeply, staring at that one spot and counting the seconds that slowly go by. _Come on, please kick for Dad._ At the base of his pinky and ring finger, after what feels like minutes, a jabbing roll moves across his hand. His mouth falls open as he gasps in amazement, his eyes wide and sparkling as he looks to you.

“Did you feel it?” you beam, giggling at your stunned husband.

The moment you finish asking your question, a flash goes off and grabs both of your attentions. Having just been pulled out of your own world, you now notice the room has grown somewhat quieter. Dozens of guests and the rest of the RFA members gaze in awe at the two of you. They must have come over when Zen was rushing past them. Looking for the source of the flash, your eyes fall on a tall man with teal hair.

“V?” both of you exclaim, Zen straightening up next to you.

V smiles and steadily makes his way over with Jaehee’s assistance, the rest of the RFA members following as the guests go back to what they were previously doing.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to make it,” you say as you get up to hug the photographer.

“I suppose I was feeling a little restless. I wouldn’t want to miss spending the holiday with my friends, anyway,” he replies, finishing the warm hug.

“Here, sit down,” Zen says as he pulls up a chair for V. “You’re still taking pictures?”

V sighs as he sits, the rest of the group besides Jumin pulling up a chair to join in the conversation, “Only as a hobby, now.”

“But how can you if you’re-” Yoosung starts off before being shushed by Jaehee.

“It’s alright,” V smiles, unwrapping his camera from around his neck. “I have my camera programmed to take multiple pictures a second in case I have the wrong angle. Hopefully one of these is good enough to frame.”

He hands his camera to you and Zen, and you scroll through dozens of photos that all seem to be relatively the same with only minor differences.But he still managed to capture the moment perfectly.

“Wow, these are great! But how did you know when to take a picture of us?” you ask out of curiosity, trying not to offend the man.

V chuckles, leaning forward in his chair a bit, “I heard someone squeal next to me, so I figured that was the right moment to do it.”

Knowing without a doubt who it was, you glance over at Jaehee who now hides the blush on her face.

“It was a beautiful moment, I admit,” Jumin speaks up, his arms folded over his chest, “But the party is still very much so going on. Those who are finished with dinner should go back to hosting the event.”

“Yeah, yeah; you don’t need to direct us too,” Zen scoffs, twisting his seat out from between his legs and sliding it back beneath the table.

“I hope you don’t use that tone with our guests,” Jumin retorts, readjusting the knot in his tie.

Zen looks down at you as you grab his hand, your eyes pleading with him to not argue any further.

He sighs, squeezing your hand before letting it go, “I would never. There’s a soundboard that needs fixing, so if you’ll excuse me.”

“I have someone working on it, so there’s no need for you to do it. I suggested those that have eaten should return to the party. You haven’t eaten yet, correct?” Jumin halts Zen by putting a hand on his shoulder.

Zen tenses, but maintains his composure, “No, I haven’t. I’ll go do that now.”

You watch him venture off on his own and turn yourself back towards the rest of the group. Yoosung shrugs and walks off with Jaehee while Jumin and V stay behind.

“Well, thank you for taking these pictures, V,” you say as you hand him back his camera. “I really, really love them.”

“You’re more than welcome. I’ll put them on a flash drive and mail it to you within the week, if you’d like,” he smiles, getting up to stand next to his childhood friend.

“Yes! Of course,” grin, adjusting yourself more upright in your chair, “I’ll keep an eye on the mailbox! Come in the chatroom more often too; we miss hearing from you!”

“I’ll try to. Have a good rest of your evening, ___,” he nods and strolls away with Jumin.

 

\----------------------------------------

 

“Whew! Feels good to be home!” Zen peels off his coat and stretches up towards the ceiling.

“I know! I can’t wait to get out of this dress,” you groan, kicking off your kitten heels in front of the door. “It doesn’t look like it’d be hot, but it is.”

“I’m sure it’s just because you’re in it,” he flirtatiously pulls you into him, clasping your hand in his. “You looked so beautiful tonight. I honestly had such a hard time keeping my hands off of you.”

Moving up onto the tips of your toes, you giggle and teasingly hover your lips over his, “Oh, yeah? Well, maybe you can get handsy with me after I change.”

“Or maybe I can just undress you myself and you won’t have to change-” his lips brush yours before you pull away.

“I said I’m changing,” you voice sternly as you head to the bedroom.

_Hormones are funny things, aren’t they?_

“Alright, Princess,” he smirks, taking off his own shoes. “Don’t take too long, though, otherwise you might find a wolf doing more than howling at your door.”

Waiting for you to change into something more comfortable, he plops down onto the couch and fiddles with his phone, debating which to selfies to delete as he scrolls through them. A black and white photo catches his eye and he opens it up. He smiles, flipping through all the other pictures like it. _So, this is how much you’ve grown, Baby. Wow._ Deciding your ultrasounds are the most important things in his phone, he deletes older photos of himself that he knows he’s already shared in the chatroom. I _can just go back and save them if I really need to. I might just need to get another memory card specifically for Baby Girl when she’s born._

“You’re deleting your photos?” you gasp over Zen’s shoulder, sticking your lip out in a pout. “But I really liked that one!”

He grins, getting up from his spot and sauntering to where you are behind the sofa, “Well, there’s more important pictures I’d rather have on my phone.”

“Really? Of what?” you ask as you bump your belly into him, almost knowing what he’s about to say.

“Pretending you don’t know; you’re so cute,” he murmurs, his hands embracing the sides of your tummy as he plants a soft kiss on your lips. “But is it really wrong for me to want more photos of our baby on my phone?”

“No, I suppose not- what-” you think aloud before your attention is brought elsewhere.

Zen slips down onto one knee and eases your T-shirt up, exposing your stomach.

“Hey!” you giggle, attempting to tug your shirt back down.

He stops your hands and moves them away, sliding it back up, “Babe, just let me take a picture. Please?”

“But I don’t have any pants on!” you turn your hip towards him and close your legs, attempting to hide your underwear.

“You think I’d share it with anyone?” he laughs, opening up the camera setting on his phone with one hand. “Please, babe! For me?”

His eyes peer up at you longingly, pleadingly, like a dog begging for just a bite of your meal. _Ugh! Why does he have to look at me like that? I for sure can’t deny him now, especially after all I’ve put him through. Maybe he is worthy of just one picture…_

“Alright, fine… But only one”, you hold one finger up, attempting to sound stern through the slight smile playing on your lips.

“YES!” he cheers, your shirt falling back down as he pulls his fist down towards himself. “Okay, go stand back at doorway and turn to the side.”

You do as he says, lifting your shirt up to just under your breasts to expose your abdomen.

“Like this?” you ask, cradling your growing tummy with your hands and angling yourself slightly towards him.

So beautiful. It’s momentarily silent as he admires the sight in front of him.

“God, you’re just like an angel…” he breathes, positioning his phone up to take a picture. “So, so beautiful…”

You blush as a flattered giggle escapes you, a flash going off signaling that he’s finished taking the picture.

“Let me see! Let me see!” you say eagerly as he gets up and hurries over to you.

Your shirt drapes back over you as he hands his phone to you, both of you analyzing the picture together.

“Geez, I didn’t think I looked that big already!” you chuckle, handing his phone back to him. “I can’t imagine how big I’ll be 12 weeks from now.”

Sharing the same frown, he speaks what seems to be on each other’s minds, “We’ve really only got that much time left?”

“Yeah… Maybe even less,” you nod, grabbing his hand. “Maybe you could take a picture of me each week until then?”

Zen’s eyes light up and he leans down, kissing your lips, “You have no idea how much I’d love to.”

He drops onto a knee once more, sliding your T-shirt up for the millionth time tonight.

“Zen! How many times are you going to lift my shirt?” you laugh, your belly jumping cutely.

“It’s not fair that only Mama gets a kiss,” he teases, bracing the sides of your stomach as he plants several kisses all over.

You place your hand over his, warmth radiating through you at the sweetness of his gesture.

“Thank you for posing for your daddy,” he hums, hugging your waist with his free arm.

“Hey! But I’m the one doing the posing!” you playfully dispute, pulling him back up onto his feet.

“Oh,” he says slyly, a seductive gleam in his eye as he presses closer to you, "but you’ll be doing a different kind of posing in a minute.”

Before you can even protest, he scoops you up into his arms and carries your giggling self into the bedroom for the remainder of the night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a 30 minute doodle because the hands took up 10 of them. I just wanted to portray the basic idea lol  
> Pregnant smut, yay or nay?


	10. The After Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen discovers something online and can't wait to show it to you. There's also something very important you need to discuss.  
> AND  
> I wanted to make it easier for authors and fans to converse/collaborate ideas for fanfics and help those that have hit a wall in their writing so...  
> I created a Discord for fans/authors of this fandom! It's a 100% free chatroom, so feel free to join and invite your friends!  
> Here's the link: https://discord.gg/zQrnaRG  
> Just create a username and set a note for what fanfic(s) you write if you're an author. That way it's easier for others to find your work and read it :) 
> 
> edit: it's a party in here. we're serving dr. pepper and memes. don't be a square lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, lord. I have no idea why, but I had a really scrambled brain the entire time I was writing this. I just could not buckle down and focus towards the end and for 2 days I had to help my fiance's sister move into her new house, so that took quite a bit of time. BUT I did quite a bit of research on this chapter (my fiance helped me some *wink-wonk*) since I like writing things that can be experienced in real life, so hopefully you can visualize it easily. My eyes don't want to read through this another time, so I figured it's about time to let someone who wants to do that, do that.

Setting you comfortably on the edge of the bed, he quickly strips off your shirt and tosses it to the side. Your considerably larger breasts splay softly to the sides of your swelling belly; an image that Zen grows more and more fond of each time he sees your body in its raw beauty. His groin straddles your knee as you lean back onto your elbows, the heel of his hand and knee pressing into the mattress to keep himself balanced as he leans in. His lips capture yours as his other hand glides up your stomach and to your breast, wasting no time in satiating his ever-growing need to feel the softness of your skin beneath his fingers. His palm caresses the supple flesh as his thumb brushes over your nipple, the light, tickling sensations causing it to perk. Your tongue flicks out the same moment as his, both of you testing to see how quickly heated the kiss can become. With another press of your lips, your tongues meet again, dancing and twirling with each other for a few brief seconds before retreating back in for another romantic kiss.

Parting ways with your lips, his mouth travels along your jaw and down your neck, pausing in the hollow above your collarbone. Your eyes flutter shut while he kisses the delicate skin, your heart rate quickening at the feeling of his humid breath fanning across it. The faint taste of your efforts earlier in the day mingled with your perfume are surprisingly pleasant on his palette as he brings the skin up into his mouth, sucking hard enough to redden it. Giving a gentle nibble, his lips travel further down to your breasts, soft, smooching sounds from his open-mouthed kisses bouncing off the walls and to your ears. His tongue darts out and encircles your other nipple before closing his lips around it, paying mind to not stimulate the bud too much. A whimper escapes you, the passion in his touches drawing your voice out the more his fingers linger. Just as you crave more of him, he slips off your breasts and off the bed. Opening your eyes, you turn to watch him pull off his shirt and snatch up several pillows at the head of the bed.

“Zen, what are you doing?” you question his behavior, sitting yourself up onto your hands in your curiosity.

He smiles as he piles several pillows behind your back, “You’ll see.”

“I’ll see? What are you going to d-” you squeal as he grabs behind your knees, pulling you flush with his hips.

Your body falls back onto the strategically placed pillows, letting you lie at a comfortable angle. Releasing your knees, he leans down and gives you a quick kiss.

His lips part from yours, pulling back just enough to focus his gaze into yours, “Nothing you need to worry about, Princess."

Preventing any more inquiries, he starts at your lips, lingering until you’ve completely forgotten what you were going to ask. He kisses your chin then trails damp, tender kisses in a straight line down your chest and tummy, lowering himself onto his knees the further his lips travel. His hands follow the curve of your body, his touch feather light while they make their way to your hips. Curling his fingers under the elastic band of your underwear, he slides the fabric away from one of the most beautiful parts of you, down your calves then past your feet, and drops them next to him on the floor. His arms hook under your legs and move them up onto his shoulders. He angles his head to keep eye contact with you as he kisses all along your inner thigh, only breaking it to begin kissing the other one. Once down near the valley separating your thigh from your sex, his lips jump to your mons and navigate their way into your slickening folds. You feel his mouth plant slow, wet kisses on your inner labia between the long, flat strokes of his tongue. The sensation is enough to make you want to grind against him to feel more, but you resist the urge.

“Mmmn-” your cute voice moans out, clenching your fists into the sheets as you concentrate on the pleasure you’re receiving.

Your sweet noises go straight to his semi-hard member, stiffening it to full in the confines of his pants. The tip of his tongue dips into your entrance and samples your arousal, the clear fluid having little to no flavor. He kisses and sucks on your plumped lips, alternating between the two until he makes his way up to your clit. Your hips squirm as his tongue flicks out at the sensitive bud, causing you to bite on your lower lip. Signaling that he’s just done something right, he repeats the action, wiggling his tongue side to side and forward and back rapidly. Your toes curl and uncurl as you writhe against him, tingling sensations shooting up your spine the more he continues.

“H-Hyun-” you voice smally through your quickening breath, catching his attention.

“Hmm?” he hums as his lips capture your clit and suck, coming off with a ‘pop’. “Is this too much for you, Princess?"

_What? Fuck, no! If anything, I need more!_

You beg, wriggling your hips at the loss of contact, “No! Please, please, please don’t stop. I want more…”

“As you wish,” he grins to himself, spreading your legs further open and letting your feet rest on his shoulders.

He dives back down to your clit, his lips pursed around it as he sucks and occasionally flits his tongue. A few fingers sneak up and rub your aching sex in slow, circular motions, his middle finger teasing your entrance each time it runs across it. You can feel yourself growing wetter as the need for internal stimulation starts to drive you wild. _Ugh! Just start ramming into me already!_ Your heart pounds in your rising and falling chest, his touches granting frustrated moans from you. An excessively damp feeling on his hand shifts his focus to his fingers, your arousal forming strings as he separates them. With great haste, he spreads your lowest lips apart, eyeing you with intense desire as he gazes at your dripping pussy.

“Fuck… You’re so creamy-” Zen growls as he hungrily presses his lips to your entrance, his tongue lapping at the seeping fluid.

Your unique, tart flavor is almost like candy on his tastebuds; something he’s never experienced before prior your pregnancy. The tightness in his pants becomes increasingly unbearable, the pressure causing his straining cock to pulsate. Without letting up on your sex, he quickly drops his hands to his pants, undoing the button and pulling down the zipper. Dipping his hand in his boxer briefs, he holds his penis to his body as his other hand shifts the band to below his balls. His mouth moves back up to your clit as his fingers return to your pussy, his middle and ring finger inserting themselves to gather more of your arousal. Your cheeks heat up while he pumps them within you, the contact your body’s been begging for finally being somewhat fulfilled.

All too soon, his fingers withdraw themselves and disappear down below. Your hips lightly grind against his lips, trying to make up for the loss of touch as he grips his hardened member and lubricates it with your juices. His breath shudders out at the faint relief of some sort of stimulation on his throbbing cock. Switching to his off-hand, he continues to rub his erection in languid strokes as his main-hand focuses on your overly-eager pussy. He inserts the two digits back into your vagina, twisting his wrist upwards. You whine as his mouth comes off your clit, rolling your hips to fuck yourself on his fingers.

“God, I want to be inside you so badly right now,” he breathes as he teases himself to the scene before him.

“Then fuck me already!” you groan desperately as you feel your sanity slipping with each deprived second that goes by.

“Oh, I will,” he flirts, an audible smile in his voice. “After I do what I’ve been thinking about for so long.”

“Do wh-hAAH-” you gasp as his fingers curl up and press against your g-spot.

“I’ll only show you if you promise to stay relaxed,” he says suggestively, removing his fingers from you and sucking them before kissing around your labia in an arc.

_What could he possibly want to do without using his dick? As long as whatever he does makes me come, I might be able to find some more patience._

“I promise!” you whine, pulling the sheets up more into your fists. “Please, just do it.”

He quietly chuckles, moving both of his hands to the outsides of your thighs to brush his fingertips soothingly along your skin.

“Just relax, Princess,” he says softly, his low voice seducing you to release the tension in your body.

You suck in a breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm your nerves and ease yourself into a less animalistic state of mind. Once he feels you relax, he moves his kisses to you clit, massaging the sensitive bud by twirling his tongue around it in circles. You let go of the bed sheets temporarily, fighting off the natural reflex to cling to something as his tongue and lips attempt to steal your breath. One of his hands leaves your thigh and returns to your sex, the same two fingers rubbing around your entrance to gather more lubrication before inserting themselves inside. Rotating his wrist to the correct angle, he begins steadily curling his fingers upwards, stimulating the sensitive, spongy patch in your vagina. A gasping moan escapes you as your hands fly to behind your head, your trial in trying to keep all of your body relaxed failing as you grip onto the pillow case. _There’s no way I can stay completely relaxed when he does that!_

The more your breathing picks up, the more attentive he becomes with his ministrations. His tongue switches to quickly wiggling side to side against your clit, the hot breath leaving his lungs heating you up even further. The fingers motioning inside you increase their pace, causing a familiar sensation that you can’t quite pinpoint to creep up on you. You know you’ve felt it before, but when; where; how? Whatever it is, it feels oddly amazing enough that you want to explore it more, and Zen helps you with just that. As if he just read your mind, his lips capture your clit, the tip of his tongue lightly flicking it as he sucks. His fingers press up further against your g-spot, sending a much more intense wave of that strange, tingling sensation up into your chest.

“Oh, my god…” you mumble amidst your moans, scrunching your toes on his shoulders. “S-so good…”

The hand on your thigh gives you a quick squeeze before dropping down to do what you imagine it does just about every other day. Assuming Zen’s touching himself, you let your legs fall open more loosely until they’re almost hitting the sides of the bed, the word ‘relax’ playing over and over in your mind. As the feeling shooting up into your chest increases in strength, it suddenly reminds you of two very different things. It feels an awful lot like your orgasm building, but it also feels an awful lot like you need to urinate. _No, that can’t happen during sex, right?_ Trying to push that thought out of your head, you concentrate on Zen’s actions.

Small squeaks of air occasionally leak from his lips as he sucks, his tongue showing no signs of fatigue as he continues to work you up. His fingers are just the same and curl up inside of you unrelentingly. _Oh, god… Yes, keep doing that._

“Hyun… You’re going to- m-make me come…” you breathe out, your feet angling to point toward the center of his back.

Hearing the queue he’s been waiting for, he maintains the same stimulation on your clit, but changes his motions on your cunt. His fingers stay curled as his hand rapidly jiggles up and down, massaging that tender spot more vigorously. Not only does it amplify the incredibly pleasurable sensations edging you closer to release, it also brings worry to the forefront of your mind. _No, no, no! I can’t pee right now!_

“Zen! I-I can’t-” you moan, tensing as you attempt to hold back your orgasm.

Halting the strokes on himself, he brings his hand up to your clit to replace his mouth, rubbing his fingers loosely, but briskly against the bud.

“It’s not what you think it is,” he reassures you, his breath heavy as he continues to ravage you with his fingers. “Just let it go.”

_I promised to relax so just let it go. Relax. Just let it go…_

Convincing yourself to accept whatever may happen, you release the tension in your hands, arms, abdomen, groin, legs, and toes. _It’s not like he’d divorce me if I accidentally peed on him._ Within moments of calming yourself, an overwhelming intensity courses through you unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.

“Oh, my god! I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m _f-haAHH-”_ you scream out, your eyes screwing shut as you hear a loud, sloshing sound accompany your gasps and jumbling words.

Your walls repeatedly clench around his fingers as your hips buck up in spasms, your pointed feet dancing in the air with each jolt of your body. Zen doesn’t let up even with all your writhing, continuously stimulating your g-spot and clit through your orgasm. A few small gushes of clear fluid soak his palm with each pump into your vagina, the warm liquid trickling down his forearm and onto the floor. He removes his fingers from within you and stops his motions on your clit. A slight dribble is all that leaks from you as he palms your pussy, rubbing it in gentle circles to soothe you. Your drenched, swollen lips as well as his hand glistening in the soft lighting of the room makes his cock twitch impatiently with anticipation. He gazes in awe at you as you finally come back down, your breath shaky as your body still experiences an occasional jerk. _That’s even hotter than what I've imagined._

“Babe-” he flirts, pushing himself up off the floor to lean over you on the bed.

You hide your bright red face in your hands, your voice small in embarrassment, “I didn’t pee, did I?”

“No,” he assures with a predatory smile, grabbing your wrists and peeling your hands away from your face. “God, you are so fucking sexy.”

His mouth is immediately on yours, his lips moving passionately as he parts them to slide his tongue along your lower lip. Your warm breath mingles with his as you share your saliva with him, swirling your tongue with his own between kisses. Releasing your wrists, his hands quickly move down to his trousers, tugging them down with his boxers and kicking them off. The head of his penis prods against your lowest lips as he gives you a few more kisses, your sex still sensitive from what happened just moments ago. You moan as he breaks the kiss and hooks his arms under your knees, lifting you slightly off the bed to meet his cock at a better angle.

“One more?” his fiery eyes gaze at you with incredible thirst, his sultry voice practically begging for satiety. “You have no idea how badly I want to see you do that around my cock.”

You can feel the heat in your cheeks spread to your ears while your hips involuntarily grind against him, the tip of his hardened member easing into your entrance with every movement.

“Mhm-” you nod before gasping as he pushes into you, burying himself almost to the hilt.

He sighs as your walls stretch to accommodate his girth, taking a moment to absorb the feeling of you wrapped around him. Drawing his hips back, he forms a slow, steady rhythm, making sure that you show no signs of discomfort. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you or possibly damage your cervix from letting himself off his leash.

“Not hurting you, right?” Zen breathes, biting his lip in restraint as he looks to you.

You shake your head, moaning softly as the head of his penis leisurely passes over the spot that makes you scream. Taking note of your facial expression and timing of your noises, an idea pops into his head.

He continues his thrusts, a smirk hidden in his voice, "Is this good?"

You nod, eyeing him a little suspiciously as you catch a sly gleam in his eye.

“What about-” he says as he shifts your pelvis up higher, thrusting at a more shallow angle, “this?”

“Nnngh!” you bite your lip, your neck arching into the pillows as your breath is stolen from you.

Zen blushes at your response, your pretty moans going straight to his cock and his ego. _Is it even possible to get any more aroused than I am now?_ His hips start moving on their own accord, rocking forward and back more swiftly as his concentration drifts between making sure you come again and satisfying his overwhelming need to burst. His penis pumps in an inch further in his haste, but still stimulates your sweet spot as perfectly as his fingers did, rubbing against it at just the right pace. You feel the same swell build within you, that tingling sensation that radiates from your lower region and up to your fluttering heart. The room fills with the sounds of heavy breathing, the sweat on each other’s bodies glittering more prominently the longer you continue to express yourselves to one another. _God! You’re going to make me come._

“Babe,” Zen pants, tightening his grip around your bended knees. “P-Please, come soon. I don’t think… I can last much longer…”

He throws his head back in concentration in an attempt to repress the need to release, his member throbbing with each beat of his rapidly pounding heart. Remembering all that he did to send you over the first time, you slip your hand around your belly and massage your clit the best you can. The addition of your fingers intensifies every pleasant feeling surging through you, expediting your orgasm in just a few touches. Fighting a battle he cannot win, his balls tighten, drawing up closer to him as reaches the point of no return.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he breathes, biting his lower lip as he brings his head back down to watch himself slide in and out of you. “I can’t. I’m-”

“Coming!” you steal Zen’s words, gasping as your release takes control of both your mind and body, your hand returning back up by your head.

In a couple more short thrusts, he pulls out, his brows furrowed and jaw slack as he lets himself go. He rocks his hips to continuously stimulate himself on your folds as you drench the underside of his cock, his breath and body shuddering as he finally ejaculates. His hot, pearly strands shoot out in several bursts, decorating below your belly button and all the way down to pool around your clit. Your own fluid mixes with his as he slowly stills his thrusts against you, his arms still wrapped around your legs tightly as you have yet to come down from your high. He diverts his gaze to you, your eyes closed with pure ecstasy written all over your face as you moan and whimper and squirm.

After several moments, your body stops shaking and you open your eyes to see Zen giving your knee a few kisses, gazing at you very tenderly. He lowers your hips back onto the bed, the combination of his and your cum dribbling down your crease and onto the blankets as he pulls away. Easing your legs down gradually, he takes another step back to admire the mess he helped make.

“Just hold still for a second, Princess,” he motions for you to not budge, turning to the nightstand to grab a few tissues.

You watch as he takes great care in wiping down your tummy and everywhere else that’s painted with him. He tosses the dirtied tissues into the trash and sits on the edge of the bed, grabbing your hand and snaking an arm beneath your back to help you sit upright.

He plants a soft kiss to your forehead before kissing your lips, smiling as he gently rubs your belly, “That wasn’t too much, was it?”

“No,” you giggle, placing your hand atop the one on your belly. “How did you know I could do that?”

“What; squirt? Ever since I read about it on a pregnancy forum,” he grins, kissing you once more.

You gasp in astonishment, leaning away from him, “They show you how to do all those things on those sites?”

“No,” he laughs before looking off to the side nervously, mumbling as he rubs his neck. “I had to watch a few videos…”

Your mouth drops open more, a wide smile curving onto your lips, “Haha! You watched porn!”

“Shh, babe! It’s past midnight!” he whispers loudly, shushing you with a finger to your lips.

Remembering where his fingers were, you pull away in mild disgust, trying sanitize your mouth, “Pppffflblblbt-”

Zen chuckles, getting up from the bed and holding both of his hands out to you.

“Time for a shower?” he motions towards the door with a quick tilt of his head.

You nod, taking his hands and braving the chill of the living room as you both hurry to the bathroom. Twisting the knobs and adjusting the water to the right temperature, he lets you get into the warmth of the shower first.

“I’m going to go swap the blankets on the bed, so you can get started cleaning yourself up,” his voice echoes from the entrance of the bathroom. “If you’re not done by the time I get back, I’ll clean you up myself.”

You swear you can almost see him winking with how flirtatious his voice sounded at his last statement.

“Alright,” you giggle, squeezing some shampoo into your hand to lather into your hair.

He exits into the living room, leaving the door cracked open to not only keep the heat of the steam in, but to also make it easier on himself in case something were to happen again. Humming, you rub your fingers along your scalp, massaging the soap into your hair. A sudden feeling of deja vu hits you as you think about your husband’s most recent words. _Haven’t I heard something similar tonight? ‘I’ll clean you up myself’... ‘I’ll fix her up myself’... When I was crying! And I was crying because of that! Remember to talk to Zen. Remember to talk to Zen…_ As soon as you finish rinsing the suds from your hair, you hear the door squeak open, signaling his return.

“Bed’s all set! Phew, it’s going to feel so good to finally lie down,” he says as he shuts the door behind him.

“Wow! You did that fast,” you reply as you clear your eyes and face from water. “How did I get so lucky to have such a nice husband?”

He hums satisfactorily, reaching behind his head to let his ponytail down. You can faintly see his fogged silhouette standing in front of the mirror, ruffling his hair attractively and posing at various angles before taking the few, short steps towards the shower.

“I said I’d make a pretty good husband, didn’t I?” he smirks, joining you beneath the comfort of the warm water. “Plus, how could I resist you when you always seemed to say and do all the right things?”

His hands caress the sides of your belly as he leans in, kissing your smiling lips.

“Speaking of pretty good husbands, we need to talk about what made you so upset tonight,” he says as he wets his long hair.

_He actually beat me to it. I really have struck gold._

“Oh, yeah,” you clear your throat, a tinge of anxiety evident in your voice. “Umm… It wasn’t really anything you did, it was mostly my hormones getting the better of me, so I'm really sorry about that."

Zen chuckles, lathering shampoo into his hair, "You don't need to apologize, Princess. I honestly can’t believe our baby moves you to tears more often than my performances. I’m starting to feel a little jealous.”

"Well, you won't have to feel jealous for much longer,” you giggle, returning to a more serious tone. "But, there’s still a reason for me getting so worked up…”

“Hm?” he raises a brow, awaiting your response while he dips his head back under the water to rinse his hair.

_Here it goes._

“I… It’s about choosing a guardian." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p.s. I might have made something up to make the flow sexier. You might be able to guess what it is XD


	11. The Baby Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL, WHO CRIED 10/11 CHAPTERS OF A FANFIC SO FAR...  
> You and Seven have a little fun at the baby shower, but not that ;) kind of fun  
> You also get a very nice surprise. 
> 
> Here's the discord again: https://discord.gg/zQrnaRG  
> You know you want to join ;D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank Adriana_Morgan for letting me discuss practically all my ideas with her on Discord. Writing is so much more fun when you have someone as enthused about it as you are. :)

___: So, how’s the internship treating you, Yoosung?

 

[Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom.]

 

Jaehee Kang: There you are.

Jaehee Kang: He excused himself to the bathroom 27 minutes ago and has not returned since.

Jaehee Kang: (angry)

Yoosung★: (cry)

Yoosung★: I don’t know how Jaehee does it!!

Yoosung★: I thought I was helping by organizing the papers on Jumin’s desk,

Yoosung★: But he really doesn’t want anyone touching anything there T_T

Jaehee Kang: Did you not figure that out from the first time?;;

Jaehee Kang: (seriously)  

Yoosung★: No T_T

Yoosung★: (cry)

[Jumin Han has entered the chatroom.]

___: Aww, don’t cry!

___: I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it!

Jumin Han: Yes, stop crying and get the hang of it sooner than later.

Jumin Han: It’s embarrassing and highly unprofessional.

___: Give him a break, you trust fund jerk!!@#cv b

Jaehee Kang: (shocked)

Yoosung★: ___?   

Yoosung★: (confused)

___: Omg! I’m so sorry!   

___: Zen snatched my phone from me;;;

___: So, so sorry, Jumin! T_T

Jumin Han: Don’t worry.

Jumin Han: I know you’d never speak to me in such a way, so I figured it wasn’t you.  

Jumin Han: (happy)

Yoosung★: How come Zen doesn’t just come in the chat himself?

___: He’s being a little stubborn right now ^^;;

___: We actually want to talk to you, Jumin.

___: Is there a good time to come meet with you?

Jaehee Kang: Before you answer, Mr. Han,

Jaehee Kang: I want to remind you of all the meetings we’ve had to move to today

Jaehee Kang: and the next morning in order to go to the baby shower tomorrow afternoon.

Jumin Han: Ah.

Jumin Han: Perhaps at the shower, then?

___: No!!

___: Um, I mean can we call you today instead?;;;   

___: It’s kind of one of those things you should be formal about…

Yoosung★: What’s wrong with waiting until tomorrow??   

___: I’m being a little stubborn too ^^; haha…

Jaehee Kang: If you can finish a call in less than 3 minutes…

Jaehee Kang: It’s back to back meetings after that.

Jaehee Kang: (sad)  

Jumin Han: If it can’t wait, I won’t mind you telling me here.  

___: Oh, thank god!! Alright!

___: So, Jumin Han,

___: Zen and I have been discussing this for quite some time now…

___: and

___: **we would be more than honored if you would consider being our child’s legal guardian.**

___: ^^

Yoosung★: (star-eyed)

Jaehee Kang: (sparkle-eyed)

Jumin Han: …

___: ^^;;;

Yoosung★: You’re going to say yes, right?!

Jumin Han: Things of such gravity need time to be carefully thought through.

Yoosung★: (seriously)

___: Oh, okay;

___: Well, take your time!

___: There’s no rush ^^   

Yoosung★: I would have thought he’d say yes right away… T_T

Yoosung★: (sad)

Yoosung★: I don’t think I can handle this suspense…

___: I’m with you there, haha.

___: But it is a big decision, so I understand.

Jumin Han: Alright.

Jumin Han: I’ve decided.

___: Yes?

Yoosung★: YES?!?

Jumin Han: I accept.

Yoosung★: (cheer)

___: Omg, really??  

Jumin Han: Yes.

Jumin Han: Under one condition.

___: ;;;

___: Okay, what is it?

Jumin Han: Zen has to ask me to be guardian as well.

___: …

Jumin Han: After all, it’s both yours and his child, correct?

___: Yes.

___: You’re absolutely right.

___: Hold on just a moment ^^

Yoosung★: But Zen’s sitting next to her right now,

Yoosung★: Isn’t that like them asking together?

Jumin Han: I want to know for myself that that’s what he truly wants.

Jumin Han: (happy)  

[ZEN has entered the chatroom.]

ZEN: (angry)

ZEN: It’s exactly as Yoosung said!!

ZEN: You really can’t take ___’s word for it?;   

Jumin Han: There’s nothing wrong with wanting to know if both parties are on the same page.

Jumin Han: It is a rather definitive decision, is it not?

ZEN: (seriously)

ZEN: Fine, what is it you want me to say?;;

Jumin Han: Nothing specific.

Jumin Han: But I’ve got less than a minute left before this meeting,

Jumin Han: so if you have something to say, I would say it now.

ZEN: …

___: Zen!

ZEN: Alright, alright!

ZEN: Jumin Han,;

ZEN: I wouldn’t mind you being guardian to my child…

ZEN: Is that all you needed to hear, or do I need to kiss your shiny shoes too?

ZEN: (seriously)

Jumin Han: No, that was plenty.

Jumin Han: (happy)

ZEN: Then I’ll get going.

ZEN: Bye.

[ZEN has left the chatroom.]

Jumin Han: **I just got an idea.**

Jumin Han: Assistant Kang.

Jaehee Kang: Yes?

Jumin Han: I need you to research something for me.

Jaehee Kang: (sad)

Jaehee Kang: I’ll look into whatever it is after these meetings.

Jaehee Kang: We’ll be off, ___.  

___: Okay! I’ll get going too.

___: Take care, both of you!

Jumin Han: Yes, you too.

[Jumin Han has left the chatroom.]  

[Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom.]

[___ has left the chatroom.]

[Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom.]

Jaehee Kang: Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, Yoosung.

Jaehee Kang: I won’t hesitate to come throw you out of there myself.

Yoosung★: You don’t have to!

Yoosung★: I’m leaving now!!;;;    

[Yoosung★ has left the chatroom.]

[Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom.]  

\----------------------------------------

 

“Nice chainmail you got there,” you nod at Seven as you pop a grape into your mouth.

“I know, right?” he grins, twirling once to showcase himself at all angles. “You won’t find any modern-day chainmail crafted as nicely as this one right here. Want me to make you one?”

You snicker, eyeing his metal-clad shirt up and down in disbelief, “I didn’t even know we had that many baby pins. Are you sure you’re playing this game correctly?”

“Of course!” he gasps, lowering his voice as he leans in to take the last pin on your dress. “I may cheat my way into getting top secret information, but I’d never cheat at a game.”

He chuckles at you as you smile and shake your head, clearly not buying into his words.

“So, do you want one? I can even make a matching onesie for the kiddo!” he states excitedly, finding a place on his shirt to put the newly acquired pin.

“Hmm… I don’t know,” you think aloud, poking at another piece of fruit on your plate with a toothpick. “Can you guarantee its effectiveness?”

“What? How could you even question the works of a god? Of course it’s reliable!” he pouts, turning his displeased expression away from you as he folds his arms across his chest.

He misses the devious glint in your eyes as you finish off the last of the fruit on your plate, “Are you sure about that?”

“Yes, I’m sure- AH OW!” he jumps back clutching his stomach, his stunned gaze fixated on the small skewer in your hand. “I can’t believe you’ve done this.”

You snort, pulling your lips together in an attempt to stifle the maniacal laughter that jiggles and jostles your belly so adorably. The secret agent snags the wooden weapon from your fingers, giving you a straight face as he snaps it in half before your eyes.

“Hey!” you giggle, your jaw hanging as you watch him place the remnants on your plate. “Well, now you’ve just given me two.”

A tension floats about in the atmosphere surrounding you as you both cast knowing glances at one another, seemingly sharing the same idea. Realizing his mistake, he swiftly reaches for the splinters the same moment you do, both of you coming away with one in hand.

You raise a brow at him as he takes on a defensive stance, pointing the other half towards you, “Really? You’re going to fight a pregnant woman?”

“Dammit,” he curses under his breath, dropping the splintered pick onto the floor as he paces backwards.

“So,” you grin cockily, dropping the plate on a nearby table as you match his steps and close the distance between the two of you, “What’s your next move, Defender of Justice?”

His eyes dart around the room, thinking tactfully as he plans out his escape.

A devilish smirk twists his lips as he continues leading you around the room, “I think I might have one.”

“Just one?” you ask, refusing to let him out of your sight.

He smiles as he maneuvers around a group of people, “Yep!”

“And what’s th-” you begin before his obnoxious voice cuts you off.

“ZEN, YOUR WIFE IS A SADIST!” Seven shouts up into the air through his cupped hands, granting the attention of those within a few yards radius of you.

You quickly dispose of the broken toothpick, your face flushing with embarrassment at his random accusation.

“Seven! Shut up!” you grit through your teeth, moving to smack your hand over his mouth, but doing so in vain as he moves with the deftness of a jackrabbit.

Instead of quieting the redhead, your palm slaps dead-center of a shorter man’s forehead, granting a small hiss of pain from him.

“SHE JUST HIT YOOSUNG! SOMEONE STOP HER!” Seven yells out from somewhere behind the shorter RFA member.

“Oh, my god! Yoosung, I’m so sorry!” you apologize, your hands clasping over your mouth in horror as you realize what just happened.

You growl in frustration, searching for the bespectacled hacker behind the boy rubbing his noggin. Catching a glimpse of fiery, red hair in the corner of your eye, you turn to see the troublemaker waving at you, flashing you a wide grin all the while. _Dang, he’s fast._ As you turn back to the young man you accidentally slapped, you notice several pairs of eyes on you, murmuring to one another.

“Everything’s alright!” you reassure your friends, waving your arms dismissively. “We were just playing!”

They give a small laugh of understanding and return to dining and chatting with one another.

You breathe a sigh of relief and give your undivided attention to Yoosung, “I’m so, so, so sorry! Are you alright? Let me see…”

You slide his bangs away from his face, peering at the faint, pink imprint of your hand on his skin. His violet eyes peek over at yours, mesmerized by the motherly concern taking over your features.

“Gosh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to smack you. Please, forgive me!” you wrap him in an awkward hug, your swollen tummy making it difficult to squeeze him tightly.

“It’s alright,” he chuckles as you release him.

“Does it hurt at all?” your brows furrow in worry, one of your hands fixing his hair back in place. “I can go get you some ice!”

“No! It honestly didn’t hurt that much,” he assures cheerfully, his voice dropping to a mumble. “I kind of liked it.”

“What was that all about?” Zen interrupts you before you can ask Yoosung what his last statement was.

You pull your hand back and rub it along your stomach, trying to calm the tiny person excitedly rolling around in there.

Leaning against your husband for comfort, you cringe as you recall your actions, “Yoosung got slapped in the face; by me. I didn’t mean to, though!”

“I heard that much,” Zen chuckles, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“Yeah! It was entirely by accident!” Yoosung pipes up, recounting what happened on his end. “All I remember is Seven yelling then suddenly being grabbed and shoved in ___’s direction before getting hit. He was so fast…”

“I know, right?” you exclaim in amazement, meeting the blond's gaze.

Zen laughs, directing his attention to you, “But seriously, what did that idiot do in order to get you to come after him?”

You hesitate as you really think about all that’s transpired. _I mean, I kind of was the instigator in this situation. The likelihood of all this happening if I hadn’t poked Seven with that toothpick is slim to none, so I am to blame in a sense._

“Let’s just say… I was proving a point and he didn’t want to learn any more about it,” you smile, burying the complete truth since it’s honestly just a little too ridiculous.

“Hmm?” Zen cocks a brow, his voice sly as he’s convinced there must be more than what you’ve let on. “Well, if you won’t tell me, I’ll just have to go ask ball-less himself.”

“No!” you plead, clinging to his dress shirt as he pretends to move away.

“Pffft… ball-less,” Yoosung snickers, straightening up onto his toes. “Where did Seven go anyway?”

You shrug as Zen makes use of his height and scans over the dozens of people in the usual RFA venue. At the write-on-a-diaper table, he spots the goofy ginger waving in his direction with a diaper in hand. Pointing at the diaper, Seven grins as the ivory-haired man squints to make out the colorful drawing scribbled on it. Zen tenses as the hacker turns around and holds up another with a poorly drawn creature on it.

“That guy!” Zen growls frustratedly as he buries his face in his elbow and sneezes.

Yoosung shares a glance with you as you both chime in, “What’s he doing?”

“He’s drawing cats-”, he breaks off, trying to hold back another sneeze before continuing, “On all the diapers. Can you go stop him, Yoosung? I need to announce that we’re opening gifts now.”

“Yep! I’m on it!” the blond chirps, heading through a cluster of guests.

\----------------------------------------

 

“Gosh, thank you so much!” you smile, hugging and thanking your friends as they head back home. “We’ll make really good use of your gift, I can promise you that.”

Zen sighs, waving to the last of the guests, “I wonder what the holdup is with Jumin and Jaehee.”

“I don’t know,” you shrug, frowning a bit as you return to organizing the enormous pile of baby items you’ve just acquired, “But I really hope they don’t forget about sending the driver to help us get all this stuff home. Even though it’s portable, I don’t think this crib would fit in Seven’s car.”

“You don’t need to worry about that,” a smooth, baritone voice pulls your attention to the entrance of the room.

“Jumin! Jaehee!” you grin, dropping a pack of tiny socks into a large gift bag at your feet.

The bag tumbles on its side as you stumble over it in your haste, a pair of lean arms coming underneath yours to stabilize you.

“Careful,” the raven-haired man smiles as you pull him into a quick hug.  “Sorry we’re late.”

You pull away from him and wrap Jaehee in a friendly embrace, “It’s alright. I’m just glad you both could make it.”

“Yeah, what took you guys so long? I thought you cleared up your afternoon for this”, Zen speaks up, leaning down to give Jaehee a one armed hug.

Jaehee laughs uneasily, glancing to the side, “Well, Mr. Han might be able to explain things better than I can…”

“Yes, it might be better for me to explain”, he says with a hint of something in his voice that you just can’t put your finger on. “But I can do that after we pack up your things. I think everything might fit…”

Both you and your husband share a look of confusion before you voice your concern, "I mean, I guess it is a lot of stuff, but I thought you said you had a large van that could transport everything.”

“There was a change of plan, but I feel it will work just as well,” Jumin dismisses, motioning for a couple of his bodyguards to help gather things.

You look to Jaehee for some sort of clarity, but all her attention is focused on consolidating gifts into categorized bags.

“HEY! OI, YOU TWO!” Zen hollers over to the giggling men chasing each other with markers. “Give us a hand, yeah?”

“Okie dokie, Daddio!” Seven shouts, marking Yoosung’s shirt as he runs past, earning a small whine of disappointment from the blondie.

After taking care of the heavy lifting, the men relax near the rear bumper of the compact SUV while you and Jaehee finish wedging the smaller things into any crack and crevice available in the cozy space.

“I didn’t know you had cars like this in your collection,” you state to Jumin, scooting back out into the crisp, February air to stand next to him.  “It smells new too. Did you just buy it?”

Jaehee rests against the vehicle’s open door, palming her face as she feels all too uncomfortable in the situation.

Jumin reaches around you, handing his assistant the last bag to fit into the car, “I did, yes.”

You give the car a quick once over, taking in the details of the sleek, silver vehicle.

“Well, it’s very cute! We might have to look into one when we can afford it,” you giggle, rubbing your hand in large circles around your belly.

“I’m glad you like it”, he flashes an unusual grin as he digs into his pants pocket. “Here’s the keys to it. It’s yours.”

“What?” Zen pops up from his leaning position on the side of the car.

Your hand halts its movements on your stomach, your breath and body still as you gaze at the tall man beside you with wide eyes. _Did you hear him correctly?_ You look to your husband, his expression just as bewildered as yours. Right beside the hunky man is a blushing Yoosung and an ecstatic 707 mouthing for you to take the keys from Jumin’s hand. _He’s giving you this car? Wait, what?_

“No, no, no, we cannot accept this,” you push the keys towards his body, your nerves causing you to chuckle.

The C&R director looks at you dumbfounded, making guesses as to what the problem is, “Is it the color? I thought it might be a better choice as it keeps the car cooler during the summer months.”

“No! That’s not it,” you laugh lightly at his puzzlement, your husband coming behind you to rest his hands atop your shoulders.

Jumin grasps for straws, looking to a defeated Jaehee for any clues, “Is it the interior? Leather was recommended as it cleans the easiest, but I cou-”

“Jumin!” you butt in, taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself. "We can't; it's too much, Jumin.”

The air fills with uncomfortable silence with each second that goes by, the sound of passing traffic the only thing to fill the void. Zen squeezes your shoulders and moves his lips right above your ear.

“___, let’s go talk for a minute,” he says in a surprisingly relaxed tone, directing you away from the group.

Once out of earshot, you turn to him and let your hormones and modesty speak for you.

“What the fuck!” you whisper loudly, flailing your arms in the general direction of the group. “We can’t take that car! What the hell was he thinking?”

“Babe, shh-shh-shh- calm down,” he soothes, meeting you eye-level and gently taking your head in his hands.

Inhaling through your nose for as much as your lungs will expand, you release it from your mouth slowly, blowing the warm air against his chin.

He smiles, stroking down your hair as you relax, “Good girl.”

“But we can’t take that car, Zen,” you frown, gazing into his ruby red eyes.

“And why can’t we?” he asks, a sense of logic coming forth in his tone. “Babe, our baby’s going to be here in a couple weeks and we don’t have any way to take them around town or to places we need to go.”

“We have a stroller,” you pout, breaking your gaze to look at the porous texture of the recently dampened sidewalk.

Zen chuckles, captivated by your unusual display of attitude, “And what are you going to do when it rains, huh?”

“Put on some boots…” you mumble, scuffing the sole of your shoe on the ground.

“___, don’t be ridiculous,” he laughs, tilting your chin back in his direction. “Just listen to me. Unless I get that role in that drama coming up, we’re not going to be able to afford a car for a while. We’re saving to make sure you stay healthy and Baby gets here safely, remember?”

_Of course. Our baby is the most important thing in my world right now. Neither of us would be able to handle it if something tried to take them from us again._

“Yeah,” you nod, biting your lower lip as a sea of emotions swells within you.

He notes the moisture pooling into the inner corners of your eyes and pulls you into his chest, his voice sincere, “Gosh, you’re so special to me. I just want the best for both you and our child, so please reconsider accepting the car.”

You sniffle and sway in his arms, taking a few moments to collect your thoughts. _Never in a million years would I have thought my husband would accept a gift of that magnitude from Jumin; and do so so willingly. He’s absolutely right, though. It would be much easier to travel back and forth to do business and get to the hospital in case any one of us becomes sick. And it would be really nice to be able to take our newborn home in something other than a cab. There’s so many wonderful things that car could help us do, and if the only way to have a car is through a gift from a good friend, then I should accept that._

“What are you thinking, Princess?” Zen murmurs into your hair, giving your crown a soft kiss.

Pulling away, you wipe your eyes and breathe, “Okay.”

“Really?” he asks with a stunned smile. “Okay as in you want the car?”

“Yeah,” you nod before being taken in his arms once more.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! God, that makes me feel so much better not having to worry about you getting stranded with the baby somewhere,” he sighs elatedly, beaming as he releases you. “Let’s go tell him, hm?”

Taking his hand, you both head back to the vehicle. With each step nearer, the whole reality of how quickly everything is changing and the amount of love you have for your second family crashes over you and sweeps you away. Jumin pivots on his heel just as you close in on the group, your expression differing greatly from your husband’s cheerful one.

“Have you decided?” the suited male asks, looking between you and your husband.

Zen nods, glancing down towards you as he gives his answer, “Yes, we-”

“JUMIN!” you wail, throwing yourself around his waist in a tight hug.

His arms hover above you, his guard completely thrown off at being suddenly clung to, “___?”

“YOU’RE T-TOO NI-ICE! TH-ANK YO-OU…” you hiccup indiscernibly, your words muffled by his suit jacket.

Feeling lost, he looks to the actor for some sort of guidance, but only receives a light chuckle and a grin.

He rests a hand on your upper back, gently rubbing it in an estimated guess on how to soothe you, “I’m not sure why you’re crying, but if it makes you feel any better, I have the car insured through next year.”

“YOU INSURED IT T-TOO?" you bawl, drawing the attention of a few passersby.

With embarrassment starting to overcome the satisfaction of seeing a flustered Jumin, Zen steps in and eases you away from the corporate heir.

“Alright, Princess, let’s go calm down now,” your husband says as he entrusts you to Jaehee once more.

Your female friend situates you in the passenger seat of the car and talks about various other topics in order to shift your mind elsewhere. Stepping back towards the dark-haired man, Zen rubs his neck and awkwardly switches his gaze between Jumin’s steely, grey eyes and the snot on his coat.

“Oh, sorry about that,” the father-to-be apologizes, using his sleeve to clean up the goo.

“There’s no need to be,” the older man assures, pulling out a small handkerchief to wipe himself down. “Can I take what just happened as her saying ‘yes’?”

Both men chuckle as they glance back over to you endlessly sniffling and rubbing your nose on your sweater.

“Yes, we both think it’s a good idea to accept your gift,” Zen smiles, trying his hardest to maintain eye contact with the taller RFA member.

“I’m glad you accept it. I look forward to spoiling your child even more in the future,” Jumin grins, folding the handkerchief and stuffing it back into his pocket.

The actor starts, averting his gaze as he’s taken aback by the suggestion, “Well, you don’t need to go all out. I’m sure even just a piece of candy is more than enough…”

“You know I would do anything for my family,” Jumin places a hand on the actor’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. “It’s no trouble at all. Here are the keys.”

Zen stares at the keys dangling from the director’s finger, giving him a sincere look as he slips them into his own hand, “Umm… Thank you, again. I know it wasn’t really ideal yesterday, but… it really does mean a lot to me that you’re my child’s guardian." 

“And then they kissed!” Seven chimes in, appalling both men with the smooching sounds coming from his lips.

“Dude!” Zen frowns, stepping away from Jumin at the same moment. “Alright, we need to get going. I’ll talk to you all later on the messenger. Thanks for all the help, everyone.”

“You’re more than welcome. Enjoy your new car,” Jaehee twinkles, walking over to stand near her boss.

“Bye, you guys!” Yoosung beams, waving to the two of you.

“Adios!” the redhead salutes, sitting up from the hood of his baby.

Jumin gives a brief nod and a smile as your husband shuts your door and rounds the front of the vehicle to the driver’s side, “Take good care of her.”

“There’ll never be a moment where I won’t be,” Zen murmurs to himself, opening the car door and giving a final wave. "Thanks again!"

Getting behind the wheel, he observes your puffy eyes and red nose, your sweater streaked with snot.

“Do we need to stop and get you some tissues?” he laughs, giving your temple a quick kiss.

You sniffle, giggling to yourself, “Mhm-”

“Alright! So, first stop is the store and- huh?”  he pauses as he puts the key in the ignition, glaring with immense rage at the picture taped to the center console. “THAT- ACHOO!”

Snickering, you wave to a thoroughly pleased looking Jumin through the sideview mirror as your husband rips the photo of Elizabeth the 3rd off the dash and drives away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end! Now I really only see this being 2-3 more chapters.


	12. Happy Birthday x2- Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! It's finally here! The chapter and the start of your labor! This might be a two or 3 parter depending on where my imagination takes me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! I cater desserts as a side business (I'm a pastry chef) and I had like two birthday cakes to make in a week then the next I had to bake enough desserts for 100 people basically and had two 24+ hour days of just straight baking. It was rough. So, after all that, I was finally able to  
> buckle down and start writing again with the help of Adriana_Morgan.  
> I hope this lives up to the long wait!

“I’m coming straight back to you as soon as my audition’s over, but don’t hesitate to call me if something happens before then, alright?” Zen asserts, kissing your forehead several times as he opens the front door of the apartment to leave.

“I’ll be fine! Just worry about what you need to do,” you giggle, pushing your belly into his abdomen. “We’re cheering for you! Go knock ‘em dead, Daddy!”

He chuckles, shifting his hands to hold your belly as he leans in to kiss your lips very tenderly.

Humming in satisfaction, he breaks the kiss to take in the sight and feel of you beneath his hands, “Gosh, I’m going to miss seeing you like this… Maybe I’ll just have to get you pregnant a few more times.”

“But we haven’t even had one yet!” you gasp, blushing at the images his suggestion brings to mind. “And you need to get going! I’ll look like a poor manager if you show up late.”

“In a minute. I just need to do one more thing,” he grins as he gets down on a knee, lifting your long, flowy blouse up to your breasts.

“NO!” you giggle uncontrollably in your protest, struggling to pull your shirt down in place. “Stop! It’s embarrassing!”

He looks up at you, not budging as his gorgeous eyes plead with you in manner difficult to ignore, “This might be the last time I get to do this, Princess!”

His words strike you with a little sadness. _With how far along I am, that could possibly be the case, although, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll have our baby in the few hours he’s gone. Just as long as he’s reasonable about it, it wouldn’t hurt to indulge my husband in his silly request…_

“But, Zen, the door’s open!” you blush in your embarrassment, attempting to move out of line-of-sight.

He grips your hips and holds you to him tightly, making escaping an impossible feat.

“You’ve got leggings on,” he smirks before quickly ravaging your exposed tummy in dozens of squeaky kisses.

“Zen,” you laugh, reaching to your sides to pry his fingers off of you. “Come on, you’re going to be late!”

“Hold on- I’m not done yet,” he says in the midst of his kissing frenzy, giving your belly one last smooch. “Muah! Daddy loves you! Just stay in there and be good to Mama until I get back, okay?”

Rising to his feet, he fixes your shirt and pulls you in for a quick peck on the lips, “You just take it easy, Princess, and don’t overdo it at Yoosung’s-”

“I won’t! I promise, just go!” you smile, placing your hands on his sturdy chest as you shuffle him outside.

He jogs up the few stairs of the walkway to your semi-basement abode, keys jingling in hand as he pulls them out of his pocket.

“Think of me while I’m gone, my princess. I’ll be thinking of you,” he beams, pacing backwards to wave to you while he heads to the car. “I love you!”

“Of course! I love you too! Break a leg!” you wave in return, blowing him a kiss.

_Oh, the irony of that saying._

Settling himself behind the wheel, he opens up his phone to the picture of your most recent ultrasound and turns the key in the ignition. A mellow ‘beep’ pulls his attention to the orange light glowing by the fuel gauge. Damn. You must have forgotten to fill up when you went out yesterday. Hopefully he’s got enough gas to get him to the gas station after his audition. Returning to the photo, he gazes at it with incredible adoration.

“Please, wait for me, Little Princess. I don’t want to miss the moment you come into this world,” he says softly, stroking his index finger along the black and white image of his daughter. “I’ll do my best to make you proud of me, I promise.”

Giving the screen a quick kiss, he pockets his phone, shifts the car into drive, and hurries off to give all he’s got. You wince as you watch your husband drive off, a hand coming to your stomach as a mild contraction makes you pause for a moment. Another one? How long has it been since the last? Skimming through your short-term memory, you figure it’s been close to two hours since you were snatched away from your slumber by one. It’s not regular enough to be all that concerning, though. As soon as it passes, you take a mental note and head back inside to await Driver Kim’s arrival.

 

\----------------------------------------

 

“Thank you so much for the ride and all this,” you say, turning to Driver Kim as he sets your bags of party decorations in front of the door.

He bows his head in courtesy of your thanks, “No problem. It’s always my pleasure, ___. Let me know if you ever need a ride again and I’ll gladly take you anywhere.”

“I’ll be sure to take you up on that offer when the time comes,” you smile, gaining a smile in return.

Without another word, he makes his way down the hall to wait for the elevator while you rap your knuckles on Yoosung’s door. _Man. You just have to sit right on my bladder, don’t you, Baby?_ A few moments pass and Driver Kim’s elevator arrives, taking him back down to his vehicle as you continue to stand outside of the apartment. You give a few firmer knocks, shifting your weight between your two legs to distract yourself from the bathroom predicament you’ve found yourself in. _Is he even up yet? Did he not say ‘come after 9’?_ Digging through your purse, you pull out your phone and dial his number, bracing the underside of your belly with your free hand in an attempt to alleviate some of the pressure on your bladder. _Come on, come on, come on… Call forwarded._

“No…!” you groan in frustration, dropping your phone back into your purse to pound on the door. “DAMMIT, YOOSUNG! OPEN UP!”

You release your incredibly bloated tummy and use your fists to create a drumming flurry possibly loud enough to disturb even the neighbors on the floor below. Not a moment too late, the door suddenly flings open to reveal an extremely disheveled Yoosung.

“Sorry, ___! I must have forgotten to set my alarm”, he grins sheepishly, rubbing his eyes as you dance past him.

Whining in panic, you waddle to the bathroom with the swiftness of one of Seven’s babies, slamming the door as soon as you step inside, “All I care about is the bathroom right now!”

Taking a short while to process what just happened with his sleep addled brain, he yawns and carries your bags inside, shutting the door behind him. He sets the bags down by the kitchen counter and ambles back to his bedroom.

“I’m gonna get dressed,” he calls out groggily to you, stretching in the doorway. “I’ll come help you with setup when I’m done.”

“Okay! Save your birthday suit for the party!” your voice echoes over the sound of the toilet flushing.

Yoosung’s lips curl into a smile, chuckling to himself as he closes the door to change. After washing your hands, you return to the cozy living room and drop your purse off by the front entrance, kicking off your comfy flats in the process. Finding the bags of party supplies, you bend over awkwardly multiple times, pulling out the balloons, streamers, and other essentials and setting them on the counter. Irritatingly, each movement downward then up irks your sensitive bladder and you discover yourself battling with the urge to just burst. _Gosh, what is with this kid? I just went!_ Dropping what you’re doing, you make your way back to the bathroom. Casually dressed, Yoosung emerges as soon as you shut the door and shuffles into the kitchen, examining the multiple texts on his phone.

 

Zen

\-----

9:02am: Hey watch ___ close today and call me if anything happens

9:02am: and don’t just sit around.

9:02am: Do whatever you can to make sure she doesn’t overdo it, got it?

9:03am: See you at 4.

With a shrug, the blond sets his phone down and opens up a pack of balloons sitting on the counter. By the time you join Yoosung, he’s tying off his first balloon.

“Oh, thank you for starting that,” you say, hobbling up to the counter and grabbing one of the flimsy, rubber bulbs for yourself.

“Mmn,” the boy nods, working on another when Zen’s messages flash through his mind again. “Ah! Let me get you a chair!”

The balloon splutters to the ground as he drops it to bring over a sturdy, wooden chair from the small dining table nestled in the corner of the kitchen. He situates it behind you and very insistently lends you his hand.

Perplexed by his sense of urgency, you accept his assistance and lower yourself into the seat, “Umm… Thanks, Yoosung. Although, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to sit with this baby on my bladder.”

“O-Oh…” he sighs bashfully, going back to retrieve the balloon on the ground. “I thought you had just went when I came out. That makes a lot of sense now actually.”

Cringing, you sit up and swing your feet out, wiggling your toes, “But it’s good you brought me something to sit on. My feet are already getting sore and puffy.”

“Do they hurt that bad?” he asks, concern knitting his brows while he cleans the rubber mouthpiece with his shirt.

“No,” you shake your head, drawing in a breath and letting it out slowly. “Just a small contraction… Ugh, and I have to pee again.”

“Oh! Let me help you! Uhh… stand up I mean,” he laughs uneasily, dropping the balloon again and taking your outstretched hands in his.

You look up at him, your lips pulling into a tight crescent as you fail to bite back your laughter, “Pffft-HAHAHA, YOOSUNG!”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” he whines, waiting for you to straighten yourself up before letting you go.

“I’m telling Zen,” you say, switching your tone and expression to a serious one until your tightening abdomen can’t contain your snickers anymore, “... That Yoosung wants to help me PEEPEE!”

“What? NO, ___!” he begs, appearing as if you’re about to go tattle to his mother. “You know it’s not like that…”

As you feel a slight trickle dampen your underwear, you squeeze your legs together and try to contain your hysterical outburst, “Oh, my god, stop making that face; you’re gonna make me pee!”

“Aahh! Please, don’t do that!” the frazzled blond vocalizes, pulling you upright in hopes you can make it to the bathroom in time.

With that final movement, a sudden gush of very warm fluid spills from you, audibly dripping onto the floor as it soaks through your leggings. Both you and Yoosung glance down at the source of the noise then share a panicked look with one another.

“A-Are you-” he begins before being cut off by the horror in your voice.

“I’M SO SORRY, YOOSUNG!” you apologize, releasing his hands to cup your crotch as if it’d help stop the flow. “AAHH! It’s not stopping!”

_It’s not stopping._

“Uhh, u-umm… l-let me get you a towel!” he thinks aloud, scrambling away to the bathroom.

There’s no way you could be peeing this much after the two times you just went, and even then it wasn’t a whole lot. Could it be…? Bringing your drenched hand up to your nose, you sniff in a long inhale, carefully searching for and analyzing any sign that it might be urine. No odor… Oh, my god!

“YOOSUNG!” you call out, your heart racing excitedly with trepidation and elation all at the same time.

He hurries back out, a towel gripped in hand, “Aahh! I’m coming! Is one enough?”

“Who cares!” you giggle from anxiety. “My water just broke!”

“W-What?” he pauses in his tracks, dropping the towel into your hands.

You chuckle at the boy, speaking more slowly to give him the clarity he needs, “My water just broke. I didn’t pee.”

“Oh-haha…” the blond rubs his neck, laughing at his naivety.

Rushing over to his phone on the counter, he picks it up and begins dialing a number.

“Who are you calling?” you ask, drying up your legs then holding the towel between them whilst more amniotic fluid dribbles out.

He places the phone to his ear when the dial tone ‘brrrrs’, “Zen told me to call-”

No wonder Yoosung was being a weirdo. Your husband needs to start trusting that you can take care of yourself.

“NO!” you shuffle over to him, pulling his arm down with a dry hand and canceling the call. “He’s at an audition right now and there’s no way he’s missing this one!”

You’ve been with Zen long enough to know he’d drop everything and run to you right this second, but he just can’t. He’s worked so hard to make it to this point in his career. After all the hardship he’s been through and dedication he’s supplied, he more than deserves this opportunity, and you don’t want to be the one to take it away from him.

“But… he should be there with you, d-don’t you think? It’s your first time becoming parents,” he replies, confusion prominent in his speech and on his features.

He’s not wrong, but labor takes a long time, sometimes days according to what Zen, the Wannabe Midwife, told you. If his audition goes well, he should only be gone five hours max.

Sighing, but remaining stern, you remove your hand from his forearm and nod at his consideration, “We’ll call him in a couple hours then. It’s going to be a long while before this baby gets here anyway, so there’s no point dragging him away from his audition just to make him sit around.”

“Uhh, yeah; that makes sense,” he utters apprehensively, pocketing his phone.

You question the young male irritatedly, staring at him as if he was fed paint chips as a child, “What are you doing? I still need to go to the hospital!”

“Oh, yeah! R-right!” Yoosung stutters, fumbling for the device in his pocket. “I’ll call an ambulance!”

“No! Ugh, Yoosung, do listen at all? This baby’s not going to be here for a while so just call Driver Kim!” you gripe, your speech starting to become overrun by your now adrenaline-fueled hormones.

“Okay, okay!” he trembles, giving you an ashamed look as he readies himself to dial a number. “Ahh, hah… you don’t happen to know his number, do you?”

_What?_

“You work for Jumin and you don’t know Driver Kim’s number?” you stare at him quizzically, baffled at how he’s even still employed.

His violet eyes trail away from your piercing gaze, your not-so-pleasant demeanor beginning to wear him down, “No… Jaehee always makes the calls, so I didn’t think I’d need to memorize it right away.”

“Oh, my god! Seriously, what do you even do all day?” you frown, shrugging sarcastically.

Feeling unsure if you’re genuinely interested, the short male contemplates his workday aloud just in case, “W-Well, I-”

“I don’t actually want to know! Ugh, just make yourself useful for once and call Jaehee,” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration.

“Umm, alright…” he murmurs in his downtrodden state, your unnecessarily cruel tone and words bruising his sensitive soul. “I hope she picks up.”

A sniffle and a whimper redirects your attention to Yoosung. Oh, no. What have you done? In only two short rings, a faint, feminine voice can be heard through the mess of blond hair.

“Hello? Yoosung, it’s your day off. Why are you calling?” Jaehee struggles to ask, likely dodging the tail of a loudly purring cat.

Your harsh words ring in his mind, turning his sniveling into full blown sobs, “I… I don’t k-know Driver Kim’s nu-number.”

_Oh, please don’t do that._

“I thought I had you memorize important contacts a month ago. What do you need his number for?” she questions, sounding irked.

As if confirming his failure as an employee, her words put the weeping boy into shambles.

“It’s ___…” he blubbers, his jumbled speech becoming indiscernible. “She-she needs to g-go to the hosp-hos-hospital.”

There’s a long pause before Jaehee responds, “Yoosung, I can’t understand you when you cry. You haven’t already been drinking this early, have you?”

“No,” you reply for him, taking the phone from his hand and putting it on speaker. “I’m just a mean, pregnant lady whose water broke a few minutes ago.”

“Oh! Oh, my! Are you alright?” she gasps, a hissing and frustrated cat audible in the background.

“Yes,” you giggle at the possibilities of what befell Elizabeth the 3rd. “Driver Kim said he’d gladly take me wherever I need to go when he dropped me off, so I’m taking him up on his offer. If it’s not too much trouble, could we have his number?”

“Yes! Yes, of course. I’ll send him over for you right now,” Jaehee says before directing an indistinct grumble away from the phone. “I’ll also send his contact information to Yoosung’s phone so he has it like he’s supposed to.”

“Thank you so much, Jaehee! I’ll make sure he saves it in his phone,” you smile over his mewling, holding the towel in place with your legs so you can pat Yoosung’s back and console him.

The mic of the phone scuffs her shoulder as she switches ears, responding earnestly, “Yes. Please, take care of yourself. I’ll be off to inform Mr. Han-”

“WAIT!” you shout into the device, hoping to stop her from hanging up. “Before you go, please don’t tell Zen we’re at the hospital; at least not for a couple hours. I’d rather him do well at his audition than abandon it to sit around for who knows how long.”

“I completely understand. He’s deserved this opportunity for so long, I’d also hate for him to miss out on it. I’m sure he’ll shine very brightly today,” the bespectacled assistant says in such a way you can almost picture the amount of joy she’s brimming with.

You sigh, slumping your shoulders in relief, “Thank you! You’re a real life saver.”

“You’re welcome,” she replies cheerfully. “Oh, this is so exciting! I’ll be off now.”

The call ends and you hand Yoosung back his phone, giving him a hug in the process.

“I’m so sorry, Yoosung! I really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I just sometimes lose myself to my hormones,” you apologize, giggling light-heartedly towards the end to help brighten his mood.

He sniffs in, drying his face with the back of his hand, “No. I should know that by now. But you’re right; I need to try harder as an employee.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it,” you beam, pulling away from him to look him in the eye. “Just remember I believe in yo-ooou-”

Your abdomen tightens, a somewhat stronger cramp causing you to lean forward and clutch your stomach with a free hand.

“___? Are you alright?” the youthful blond asks, hooking an arm beneath yours out of concern.

Grimacing, you nod, steadily breathing in through your mouth then out, “Mhm… just a… slightly more painful contraction.”

“Oh. Do you need to sit back down?” he questions, already walking you back towards the chair while paying mind to avoid the puddle on the floor.

You snatch the towel from between your legs before it falls and shake it a few times to straighten it out.

“Y-Yeah, I’ll try it,” you breathe, adjusting the towel on the seat before easing into it.

Making sure you’re settled, he steps back a bit to give you space if you need it, “Are you comfortable enough?”

“Whew! I am a little more now,” you twinkle, sinking further into the chair as your contraction subsides. “To think it’s only going to get rougher from here on out.”

His glittery, lilac eyes widen into large saucers at that piece of information, “It-It is?”

“Yep! Don’t tell me you never took sex-ed in school,” you half frown, eyeing him with curiosity.

“Ahh-haha,” he laughs nervously, rubbing his neck and looking off into the distance. “Well, my parents thought it was more important to focus on other studies…”

“Oh, no. Yoosung,” you shake your head, bending an elbow on your thigh and setting your face in your palm.

Not knowing what else to say in this situation, he glances around the room to find something to do in the meantime.

“Uhh, I’ll go get your purse and shoes,” he says as he quickly dashes over to the door and retrieves your items. “And I also kind of want to change.”

He holds out his leg as he returns, the hem of his jeans lightly speckled with amniotic fluid.

You giggle at his silliness, taking your stuff from him as he hands it to you, “Well, make it fast! I have no idea how Driver Kim manages to get everywhere so quickly.”

“I will! I’ll be back in the blink of an eye!” Yoosung smiles, giving a cute wink before disappearing into his bedroom.

Rubbing your belly, you gaze at it and chuckle to yourself, silently praying. _Hopefully_ **_you_ ** _won’t be here in the blink of an eye…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What could have possibly happened to Elly? Will Yoosung change his pants in time? Will important questions like these ever be answered? We may never know.  
> I just realized it's Yoosung who's crying this chapter and not you lol


	13. Happy Birthday x2- Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's difficult writing about two people in two different places, but I've managed to do it! Still leading up to the birth, but it's definitely happening next chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRYYYYYYYYYY D'X  
> I have no valid excuse. My writing creativity just went out the window and didn't return for like a week or two and so FINALLY, I was able to write about 500 words a day again this past week and got this chapter up to 5.3k words. I hope it makes up for it being so late.  
> Thank you, Adriana_Morgan, for making me buckle down and get to it!

_There she is again; her quiet, little self all swaddled in those soft, peony pink blankets at the other end of the room._ _Why does she always have to be so far away and out of reach?_ _He glances down at his arms as they automatically wrap around one another, his hands giving his muscles a gentle squeeze as if to assure him. A light snort of amusement puffs from him at his vain attempt to comfort himself._ _There isn’t any real way to feel comforted right now._ _Loosening his arms, he turns the palm of the hand resting on the crook of his elbow upward, forming it into a subtle, spoon shape._ _I ’d cradle her just like this, right this moment if I only could. _ _It’s all he truly longs for; to finally hold her fragile body to his chest, to sniff the wispy hairs on the top of her head, to fully and entirely engrain everything about her into his memory. He’s gone through this so many times now, and although each time he manages to get a step closer, the result remains the same in the end._

 _His arms drop to his sides as his fists scrunch in frustration._ _Why does she have to become the subdued, morning glow on the ceiling? Why can’t I get just a small peek of her before I wake up? This dream is anything but worthy of being countlessly dreamt._ _He chuckles and sighs, shifting his weight onto his hip as he brings a hand up to rub his neck._ _Of course, I’d be teased in this realm as well. I can’t expect anything less from a person descended from you._ _Taking a deep breath in, he releases it slowly and brings his fingers to his temples, closing his eyes as he massages them in slow circles._ _But, maybe I shouldn’t be feeling as bitter about this as I do.  The dreams ___'s had of our child have either been relatively inaccurate or well beyond bizarre. At least I get to experience something as peaceful as our daughter dreaming away, even if it’s at a distance._

_The sudden, nasally wail of an infant pulls him from his musing and redirects his focus to the hospital provided bassinet several yards opposite him._ _Crying? Our baby girl is crying?_ _Another high-pitched squall pierces the stillness of the air, the sharpness and desperation of it resonating in his skull. Like a dagger coated in poison, heartache plunges into his chest, causing him to feel weak, yet courageous as dread seeps into his veins._ _Is it because I’m taking longer than usual to make my way over to her? She’s not in pain, is she?_

 _Before he even registers it, his feet are already moving forward._ _She’s never cried all those times before._ _The sound of her little voice straining tugs at him._ _But, as long as I’m living, she won’t cry for long. I won’t allow it._

_“Daddy’s coming, just hold on,” he murmurs to himself, his steps picking up pace as a sense of urgency surges through his legs._

_His heart begins to race as thought after thought swarms around his head._ _Is this really the same dream? Could this new addition possibly lead to different or even better outcome?_ _Her whines grow louder the closer he approaches the point where he last was thrown awake. The beat of his heart drums on his brain. His child’s shrieking causes his ears to ring, deafening the sounds of his breathing and his shoes hitting the linoleum floor. Striding past his most recent obstacle, he steels himself for the moment he’s supposed to wake to reality._

 _He briefly glances to the obnoxiously white walls on either side of him before fixing his gaze back onto the bassinet._ _This space is not our bedroom. I’m still moving. I’m still here. Does this mean I might actually get to see her?_ _He’s so close now his mind is running wild in a forest of imagination._ _What features will our daughter have? Will she be as radiant or as inconceivably beautiful as her mother? If she didn’t take after your looks, would she at least take on your mannerisms and good nature?_

_The lights overhead become glaring and hot, nearly blinding him as they threaten to rob him of the sight just half a body’s length away from him._ _No! Please, don’t hide her again!_

_Fearing this chance is about to slip out of reach, he lunges forward, outstretching his arms to grasp onto anything as he calls out to her, “I’m here! I’m here! Daddy’s-”_

_An ear-splitting scream of a woman hushes everything in the room as soon as he grips the edge of the clear, plastic bin. Terror shivers down his spine and against all will, his fingers falter as he’s thrown back to the real world._

\----------------------------------------

 

_Gosh, you were so startled when I grabbed you this morning. Thank god you were still there to embrace. I needed to hold you and kiss you after going through something as unsettling as all that; that scream especially. There’s no way you would’ve been giggling if you had been in distress, but I could have sworn that scream came from you. What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t at least ensure my wife was comfortable and safe? At least you found some humor in my sleep talking._

_See! Eight fifty-nine AM. You’ve got to start trusting that I know how to time things…_ Shutting off the engine, he quickly exits the vehicle and jogs to the entrance of the studio building, composing himself once he makes his way through the threshold. Not one seat remains in the lobby as even the walls are lined with dozens of anxious and antsy actors and actresses. With a quick scan of the room, he finds an open spot on the wall and leans against it, continuing to process his thoughts as he waits to be called.

_But, the persistence of this dream is just too unusual. It’s not anything like what I’ve read about on those parent-to-be forums, and she's not too sure what all it means either. Of course, she wouldn’t know; I’ve only mentioned it to her once while she still wasn't quite up for the day. And it’s not like I’m going to tell her about our child each time I’ve dreamt of them. It’d probably only make her envious and increase my chances of accidentally spilling that we’re having a daughter. If these dreams get anymore wild, who knows if I’ll even be able to handle them. I’m barely hanging on now with all this built up anticipation. Hopefully they’ll stop when Baby Girl is born. And god forbid she comes while I’m auditioning today. I should probably text Yoosung what to do just in case you do go into labor. There’s no way I’m going to miss one of the most important days of my life, not if I can help it._

Yoosung

\-----

9:02am: Hey watch ___ close today and call me if anything happens

9:02am: and don’t just sit around.

9:02am: Do whatever you can to make sure she doesn’t overdo it, got it?

 

“Mr. Hyun Ryu? Zen? Whichever you go by,” an assistant to the director calls out in a disinterested manner.

_Crap, I don’t have time._

Yoosung

\-----

9:03am: See you at 4.

 

He speedily types a final message and hits send, a nervousness unrelated to his audition budding in his chest as he’s unsure if the younger member will fully understand his reasoning.

Zen pulls away from the wall not a second later, raising his hand as he confidently strides over, “Right here!”

The shorter, rather scrawny man eyes the ivory-haired actor up and down as he moves towards him with a handsome gait. He buries his mouse-ish face in his clipboard, scribbling down whatever Zen can assume are notes. Following proper etiquette, Zen smiles widely and extends his arm out to shake hands with the assistant.

“Thanks for-” the more attractive of the two starts before retracting his hand as the man turns on his heel and motions for Zen to follow him into the room, “-greeting me…”

He shuts the door behind him and accompanies the subordinate to a table with a male and a female waiting expectantly. The assistant hands the clipboard off to the demure woman then sits in the empty chair beside her, still appearing as if he’d rather be somewhere else. Zen holds out a hand to the director first, hoping he doesn’t have to be embarrassed for a second time within the span of a few minutes.

“Thank you so much for this opportunity. I’m Zen,” he beams as the director firmly shakes his hand with a smile.

“So, you’re the infamous Zen,” the older man smiles, sitting back in his chair as he eyes your husband shaking hands with the female producer.

The easily charmed woman gazes up at statuesque being as he steps back and bashfully rubs his neck, “Well, I-”

“How did you manage to talk your way out of that scandal a few years ago?” the director asks, chuckling in his own amusement. “Echo girl’s pretty big. I’m surprised she let you act with her after all that.”

_Oh, so he wasn’t being complementary towards my work in previous productions._

“I can’t say there weren’t any hard feelings on her end, but all that matters is that my fans know the truth,” Zen counters in a pleasant way, hoping the conversation diverts to somewhere more relevant.

“Ah, so you’ve got a lot of fans already,” the bespectacled male cocks his head to the side, raising a brow as he points to Zen’s resume. “But, those are fans of musicals. You think they’d convert to this genre easily?”

Without hesitation, the actor replies with credence, keeping his feet planted firmly on the ground, “I’m confident my fans are dedicated enough to support me in whatever role I pursue.”

“That’s great you feel that way. You’re an attractive lad. I’d swoon over you too if I were like this gal over here,” the director chortles disgustingly as he nudges the frazzled lady beside him.

_Sigh. Yet another who can’t see past my looks._

“Is there a particular scene you’d like me to start with?” Zen asks, squaring his feet up with his shoulders as he waits to do what he came here for.

“Ah, yes,” the surprisingly rude man straightens in his seat, picking up a thin packet of papers. “Here’s the script you can read from.”

“No need. I’ve already memorized everything,” the talented male smiles, feeling proud that you pushed him to rehearse all those extra hours for this moment.

Sharing an impressed glance with the other, the producer quickly marks down something on the clipboard in front of her, excitement in her voice, “Can you start off with scene four, the hospital scene?”

“Yes,” the director leans back in his chair, crossing his leg into his lap. “Show us what you’ve got.”

\----------------------------------------

 

_Now, the only things that have stayed consistent in these dreams is I’m in the hospital, our daughter’s wrapped in pink, and I’m walking towards her bassinet. There’s not really anything to be confused by with the first two. I’d obviously meet our baby in the hospital first, and since I can’t see anything else about our child, the pink blanket has to mean our child’s a girl. So, the deeper meaning has to lie with my steps. Is it about once a week he’s been having these dreams? Gosh, why didn’t I think about counting the steps? If each step closer means I’m one week closer to seeing her-_

The door to the auditioning room swings open, thudding against the wall as the assistant folds his arms and unenthusiastically leans against it. A previous group of actors file out into the lobby, some taking a seat as the more distraught exit the building.

“Alright. You three there, you, you, and you, head in,” the irritable male points then flicks his wrist to the open room.

 _Damn, I was just starting to get somewhere._ Zen rises, motioning for the young lady beside him to enter first. _I’ll figure it out during the next break._ As soon as he steps through the doorway, his phone vibrates once in his pocket. _Huh? Did I just get a text? It’s not from ___, is it?_ Pausing in his tracks, he digs through his pocket and fishes up his phone only to be stopped before he can even move it an inch from his thigh.

“No phones,” the assistant grumbles as he walks past Zen. “Put it away.”

 _Of course, of all the times to possibly be contacted by her, it had to be now, didn’t it? Well, if it was anything important, she'd be calling me for sure. I’ll be able to get to it soon enough._ Stuffing his phone back into his pants, he hurries to join the rest of the group.

\----------------------------------------

 

_It’s really real now. I’m checked into the hospital and have a gown on and everything. But, my husband’s not here. God, how I wish he was here. His touch would feel so nice right now; his fingers combing through my hair and palm working away at my lower back. The feel of his lips against my temple as his words of assurance tickle my brain, melting away all my doubts and worries. I probably wouldn’t be worrying about anything if he was here. Heck, my biggest worry is him. What if he doesn’t make it in time to witness the birth of his child? Is it even possible to slow my labor so he has more time to get here? How am I even supposed to get through this without him? Why did this have to happen while he’s away? And why did it have to happen with Yoosung of all people?_

_There’s nothing wrong with Yoosung; he’s a terrific friend, but he’s very sensitive. If I were to break down right now, he probably would as well. And if I- whew, oh god. Aahh, ow ow ow ow… If I show any sign of panic, he might call Zen, and he absolutely can’t do that; not until I give him the word to. I have to stay brave for Yoosung, for everyone. The dreams I have for Zen and our child are in jeopardy if he doesn’t land this role. There’s no doubt he’ll be able to snag up a spot in a local theatre production like he enjoys doing, but it’ll be a very rough start with a new addition in our family. Just stay brave. I have to be brave for them. I can get through this, so just stay brave._

“Uhh, where do you think you’re going?” you interrogate the blond boy trying to exit your hospital room, unclenching your jaw as your contraction subsides.

He twists around stiffly, looking between you and the door behind him, “Well, I thought you might want me to give you some privacy, so I was just going to the waiting room…”

“No!” you say desperately, flinging yourself off the bed as quickly as your rounded self can.

The shock of the cold floor on your feet hardly surpasses the surprise you feel at yourself. _So much for trying to keep a calmer facade._ Yoosung’s violet eyes widen at your change in tone, his shoulders losing tension as he realizes the expression on your face shows no animosity towards him. _Rats. He’s figured me out. I’ll have to think of something quick for when he starts dialing Zen._

“I’m sorry,” you sigh as you grip the sides of your hospital gown, unsure of why you’re apologizing in the first place. “Umm… Please, stay. I don’t want to go through this alone.”

He smiles sympathetically, taking his elbow into his hand and giving it a squeeze, “I can stay.”

“You’re not calling Zen?” you ask, releasing the fabric from your fingers to twiddle with your thumbs.

“No,” he responds hesitantly, his brows furrowing in confusion. “Wait, do you want me to call him? I thought you said to call him in a few-”

“No! Don’t call him!” you giggle, plopping your butt back onto the edge of the mattress in relief. “I was worried you might if it seemed like I couldn’t handle this on my own.”

“Oh… Well, it’s time I prove myself to be a good assistant! Just give me the word and I’ll do it!” he beams, straightening out his shirt and puffing out his chest.

Chuckling, you motion for him to come over and pat the spot next to you on the bed. Yoosung happily obliges and takes a seat, still making sure to give you enough space since you weren’t shy in letting him know you felt smothered on the ride to the hospital. The two of you sit in silence, picking at your nails as if a subject to talk about is hidden beneath them. He scans the room, looking for anything that might spark a conversation until you beat him to it.

Tapping his hand, you rub your belly and grin, “Hey, you want to feel something weird?”

“U-Umm, sure,” the naive male answers with uncertainty, giving you a perplexed look as you take his hand in yours.

“Okay, so feel how squishy this is?” you say, watching his nervous expression as you press his fingers into your abdomen several times.

“Y-Yeah,” he meets your gaze, unsure when he’s supposed to take back his hand. “What about it?”

You brace yourself with one arm behind you as you continue to hold his hand to your stomach, “Okay, just wait. It should be any minute now.”

“M-Minute?” he panics, everything about him flustered as he retracts his hand from atop your belly. “A-Are you sure I can be touching you that long?”

_Seriously, Yoosung?_

“Yes! Why would I put your hand there in the first place if it wasn’t okay? Just put it back before you miss it,” you say sternly, grasping his hand and pressing his palm firmly to where you had it before.

With an inhale in, another contraction sets you grimacing, making it difficult to keep your eyes from squeezing shut. _There’s no way I’m missing this priceless reaction from him._ You watch his eyes and mouth stretch in horror as your belly tightens beneath his touch. Your uterus squeezes more aggressively this time, causing Yoosung to emit a spooked noise when it suddenly shifts your baby to one side of your tummy.

“WHAT IS THAT?” he swiftly pulls his hand away, rubbing it against his thigh as if it’d remove the sensation of what he just felt.

You use your now free hand to massage your stomach, breathing steadily through your gritted teeth to help ease the pain, “A contraction, obviously.”

“I knew that,” he murmurs, looking down at himself as he squishes the sides of his pudge inward and mimics your belly. “I just didn’t know your stomach could do _that_.”

“Mmn-” you whimper in acknowledgment at what he said, your brows furrowing as you close your eyes and inhale shakily through your nose.

Your moans of discomfort draw his attention back to you, concern etching his features as he watches you shift onto your forearms and clench the bedding into your fists. Lightly kicking your dangling feet, you exhale through your mouth as you pass the peak of your torment.

“It hurts that bad, huh?” Yoosung frowns, not knowing how he should comfort you.

You open your eyes again and look up at your incredibly patient friend, silently nodding as your uterus begins to relax once more.

“Knock, knock,” a feminine voice announces at the door as it opens, a nurse entering the room with a smile. “Having a contraction?”

“Just finished one,” you say, sitting yourself back up to scoot further up onto the bed.

The female dressed in scrubs sets down her clipboard and offers her hand to you, “Let’s get you laying down so we can check that heartbeat, shall we?”

You swing your legs up onto the bed, nearly giving the shy guy by your feet a peek at something he’d never forget.

“Ahh, I-I’ll go wait over there!” the blondie says timidly, quickly shuffling off and away from the bed to stand awkwardly in the corner near the entrance.

The nurse shares a look with you, quietly chuckling as she places a sheet over your lap to help conceal your lower half, “He’s funny, that one. I’m assuming he’s your friend?”

“Yeah,” you giggle, sliding up your gown to expose your belly. “We were actually setting up for his birthday party when this little one decided they wanted a birthday today too!”

“Oh! It’s your birthday? Happy birthday!” the woman congratulates Yoosung, causing him to glance in your direction.

He immediately blushes as he catches a glimpse of your bare tummy and the thin sheet just barely covering up your pubic region.

Shielding you from his sight, he clears his throat and turns back towards the wall, “Th-Thanks!”

Both you and the nurse snicker without a sound as she pops open the lid to a tube of gel, “Alright, this might be a little cold.”

She squeezes a small amount just above your belly button before grabbing the Doppler on the tray beside your bed. Using the transducer to spread the cool substance around in a concentrated circle, she maneuvers the wand around until a rapid heartbeat can be heard.

“So, your baby’s at…” she says slowly, keeping an eye on the screen in her hand, “133 beats per minute, which is healthy and normal. Now we just need to wait for another contraction so we can see how they’re handling them, okay?”

As if his prayers have been answered, Yoosung’s phone rings, giving him something else to focus on instead of finding patterns in the texture of the white wall. Quickly pulling out the device, the name across his screen makes him hesitate answering it.

“It’s Zen,” he announces uneasily, holding his hand out in front of him to block everything but your face from his field of vision.

“Answer it, but I swear to god if you tell- him,” your words strain as you feel like your midsection is trying to implode, rendering you speechless while you bear through the pain.

“I know! I remember not to,” he replies to you from across the room before pressing accept and facing the wall again. “Hello?”

“Yoosung! Why did you call? Is everything alright? ___’s not in labor, is she?” Zen frantically blows up the younger’s ear.

Yoosung jerks away from the phone, keeping it at a safer distance, “N-No, no; everything’s fine. I just accidentally pressed the wrong button when I read your messages.”

_Nice one, Yoosung._

“Oh, thank god! My heart just about stopped when I saw I missed your call,” the actor laughs, sighing as he goes on. “I would have called sooner, but these guys are pretty thorough here. I’ve never been to an audition as intense as this before.”

“Really? But it’s going well, right?” questions the blondie, hoping he can at least keep you updated on Zen if his attempts at comforting you fail.

There’s a few seconds pause at the other end of the line, an even deeper sigh following, “Well, I haven’t been sent home yet, so I must be doing something they like. Although, I wouldn’t mind being at home right now… How’s ___? Are you making her take it easy?”

Yoosung freezes, unsure of what would be convincing enough to say.

“I’ll go get you some ice chips. I’ll be back in a jiffy!” the nurse says as she exits the room.

_SHIT! Zen didn’t hear that did he?_

“Ice chips? Yoosung, where are you at right now?” the older male demands, anger brewing in his tone.

Swiveling around, Yoosung’s panicked gaze meets yours, silently pleading with you on what he should do. You just lay in dismay, face in your palms as you struggle to think of an excuse to give your assistant-for-the-day.

“Oh, that was just the waitress,” he spouts the first thing that comes to mind, trying to keep his voice level. “We-We’re actually at a cafe right now since I didn’t have anything ___ wanted to eat.”

_Oh, god. You better know what you’re saying, Yoosung._

“Really? I don’t think I’ve been to a cafe that serves ice chips before,” Zen says austerely like he’s borderline unconvinced. “Where is this cafe at?”

The perturbed, young man begins pacing aimlessly, as if moving about will jog ideas into his brain, “It just opened up down the street! It’s one of those pop up cafes that open up for a day, you know?”

“And this cafe just serves ice chips?” your husband interrogates.

“N-No!” Yoosung disputes, his face and posture starting to show signs of breaking down. “We just ordered soup.”

“You need ice chips for your soup? Who the hell eats cold soup?” Zen growls, growing more frustrated.

The weary-eyed boy laughs, still keeping his nerves intact, “You’ve never had gazpacho before?”

_No… He’s not saying the ice chips are for the soup, is he?_

“Gazebo? What the hell does that have to do with soup?” he asks agitatedly, not having the slightest clue as to why the conversation is shifting to a different topic.

“Here you are,” the nurse smiles as she returns, extending the cup of ice out to you.

Seeing this as an opportunity to escape, Yoosung quickly wraps up the phone call, “Oh! Soup’s here! Gotta go before it gets warm! Bye!”

\----------------------------------------

 

“Don’t you dare hang up! I swear to god if you’re ly- hello? Yoosung?” Zen barks into his phone before pulling it away to see he’s been hung up on. “DAMMIT!”

 _If Yoosung’s not going to make any damn sense, the only hope of getting any answers is by talking to ___._ As soon as he begins dialing your number, a voice he’s beginning to grow tired of interrupts him.

“Hey, the director cut the break short. He wants everyone back in; now,” the director’s assistant groans, poking his head out from the entrance.

 _You’ve got to be kidding._ Zen sighs, frowning at the unfinished number on his screen before pocketing the device and following the shorter man back inside. _Maybe I’m overreacting. If she really was in labor, the first thing she'd do is tell me. She wouldn’t make me miss out on something as important as the birth of our first child, right?_ Once both men join the dozen remaining actors and actresses in the lobby, the assistant retrieves a hefty stack of papers from the producer.

“Well, congratulations to you all. You’ve all managed to thoroughly impress us,” the director grins as his scrawny underling hands a packet to each person. “I think it’s safe to say you’ve all earned a spot in this production, but there’s one last thing we need to evaluate you on; your chemistry. These are scripts you haven’t seen before, so you’ll have some time to review them before we begin pairing each of you up to see which role is your calling. I look forward to seeing what you have to offer. You’ve got forty-five minutes.”

With that, the casting crew returns to their post inside the other room. _Fifteen pages in forty-five minutes, huh?_ _I’m going to need all the time I can get to memorize all this._ Skimming through the packet, he saunters over to an available seat and begins reading over the first character. _Just three more hours until I can see ___ again. I can do this._

\----------------------------------------

 

“... and Zen will be reading over the part of Joon,” the producer states as she marks something off on a sheet of paper in front of her.

Stepping up to the prop easel, Zen positions himself with the paintbrush like he imagines the character to be, waiting for his female partner to initiate the scene. Just as the actress makes her way behind the talented male, his pocket lights up and begins to vibrate. _Please, just be a text._ She places her hands on his shoulders and the actor jumps; not from her touch, but from his phone vibrating a second time. _Shit, it’s a call!_

Zen flips around, meeting the female’s gaze with a coquettish smile, “Oh, Iseul! Gosh, do you really have to come up to me like that? How many times have I told you not to surprise me while I’m painting?”

“Not enough. Gee, that’s one mighty long tree branch you’ve got there,” she simpers, peering around him to look at the imaginary painting as his phone continues to go off.

“Huh? Aww, come on!” Zen kvetches as he turns back towards the canvas, partly due to his character and partly due to his inability to answer the call. “Dammit! I can’t possibly make another in time for the exhibition tomorrow.”

Tossing the bristled tool into the tray attached to the easel, he meanders away from the painting, ruffling his hair in frustration.

‘Iseul’ frowns, sliding in front of the painting and picking up the brush, “Nothing of yours is worth throwing away. We can fix this. Here, just take a little water…”

She pretends to wet the paintbrush, biting her tongue as she feigns concentration. Zen angles his face in her direction as it suddenly grows silent. _Phew, phone stopped._ Pivoting on his heel, he tilts his head, watching her with an interested look. Just as soon as he starts making his return to her, his phone begins vibrating again. _Seriously? Please, don’t be important…_

“And now this is much softer, so if you just do this…” the actress continues, the incessant buzzing growing more obvious in the quietude of the setting.

Your husband tries to remain oblivious to the sound, keeping in character the best he possibly can with the difficult situation he’s found himself in. _I just need to get through this scene and then I can pick up the dang thing._

The woman hums as ‘Joon’ places his hand on her waist, her lips curving upwards, “It now loo-”

“Cut! Cut! Cut!” the director interjects angrily, halting both characters. “Whose phone is that?”

Zen retracts from his role, pulling out his device and looking ashamedly at it as he confesses, “I’m sorry, it’s mine.”

_Shit, it’s Yoosung!_

“Well, shut it off and take it back from the top!” the grouchy, older man commands, his assistant leaning over to whisper in his ear.

“Actually,” the father-to-be starts, feeling guilty about the whole ordeal, “I really need to take this. Would it be possible to-”

“NO! Nothing’s more important than this. Now reset and start over,” the director scowls, folding his arms and kicking back in his chair.

Zen’s temples tic, disagreeing wholeheartedly with the opposing authority, “My wife is heavily pregnant with our first child. She can very well be in labor right now, and you’re telling me that neither her nor my child have any importance?”

“No. You can see her after we’re finished up here,” smirks the director, making it evident that he’s enjoying the rise he’s getting out of the actor. “You’re not going to have time for either of them in this production anyway. You might as well start getting used to it.”

“Then I’d rather not be apart of it,” Zen states firmly, gaining shocked expressions from the majority of the people in the room.

The ruthless man leans forward onto the table, boring his eyes into a pair of brilliant, garnet ones, “Do you even realize the significance of what you’re giving up right now?”

“Had it been a worthy opportunity, I might feel some remorse,” your husband fires back, taking a few intimidating steps towards the table. “But there’s not a chance in _hell_ that my career will come before my family! Call back someone you’ve sent home. I’m no longer interested.”

Leaving everyone stunned, your knight turns and storms through the door to the lobby, not even having a second thought about what just occurred. Hustling outside, he finally answers his phone on its fourth round of ringing.

“Yoosung! What’s going on?”


	14. Happy Birthday x2- Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The. Chapter. You've. Been. Waiting. For.  
> ALSO! IMPORTANT INFORMATION! THERE'S BEEN A FEW ADJUSTMENTS TO THIS STORY.  
> I know, I know. I'm a very naughty writer, but this is my first fic EVER, so please, please, please forgive me!  
> Change #1: A dear writer friend of mine, you may know her as Adriana_Morgan, has brought it to my attention that thoughts are usually written in first person. SO, I have updated my previous chapters with her help and all thoughts are now in first person. You will notice that in this chapter.  
> Change #2: I don't know why it occurred to me to look up the definition of godparents 9k words into this chapter, but I looked it up, and it turns out a godparent is someone who sponsors religious needs, not someone who is a legal guardian. SO, I have updated previous chapters to have you ask and Jumin agree to be your child's legal guardian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *skips around and throws confetti*  
> It's here! It's here! You don't have to kill me now! It's here!  
> I've given you over 10k words in the span of 4 weeks, which exceeds my goal of 2k words a week AND  
> I've also spent MANY hours working on this picture for you which will appear somewhere in this chapter. Adriana_Morgan has put up with me spamming it to her throughout my progress with it, so bless her for assisting me in TWO projects. She's helped me improve as a writer so much DX  
> The song used in this fic is My Sweet Lady by the late and great John Denver! Here's a linkypoo4u!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHvf6sqKGRA

_GOD DAMMIT! I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP! Now she’s six centimeters and I’m more than six miles away! It’d take at least forty minutes to get to her on foot; and that’s if traffic wasn’t there to get in the way._

“FUCK!” Zen curses, kicking the rear tire of your shared vehicle before clutching the tufts of white hair atop his head.

 _WHY DOES THE CAR HAVE TO BE OUT OF GAS OF ALL DAYS? Shit! Fuck! Whew, calm down. Just call a cab. She’s not in the transition phase yet. I’ve got time. I can make it._ Tugging his phone from his pocket, he fumbles with the unlock feature, his hands shaking irrepressibly in his anxiety.

“No! NO! What the hell,” he grumbles, his fingers eluding the correct pattern attempt after attempt. “COME ON!”

He glances at the screen before nearly smashing his phone on the ground, the words ‘try again in 1 minute’ inciting further rage and despair into him. _Just how much more is this day going to test me? Ugh, this anxiety. I need to run. That’s actually probably a good idea. The more I make of my time now, the sooner I can get to her._ Gripping his phone tightly, he begins to run, keeping count of the seconds left until he can try opening his device again. _Three… Two… One._ At the corner of the street, he pauses, successfully unlocking the device to look up the taxi service information. Just as the line starts to ring, a somewhat clownish horn sounds from behind him. He whips around, the slightest bit of relief washing over him as he sees that the color of the car matches the hair of its driver.

“Hey, babe. Need a ride?” Seven winks, leaning out the window of his Ferrari as he pulls up.

Zen immediately ends the call, swiftly swinging himself around the rear to the passenger side. “What are you doing over here?”

“Forget I live out of town? I have to come this way to get to Yoosung’s,” the hermit imparts, waiting for the actor to buckle up and situate himself in vehicle. “Although, I had to drive back halfway because I forgot his gift and then-”

“Can you start driving? I’ve needed to be at the hospital for the past three hours apparently,” voices the ivory-haired man irritably, stretching his legs out to push his phone back down into his pocket.

“No problemo,” the younger grins goofily, shifting the car into drive and hitting the gas. “I was actually on my way there myself.”

Zen turns his gaze to the male beside him, his expression perplexed. “You know that ___’s in labor? Who told you?”

“Jaehee did after she called Jumin,” the experienced driver says, smoothly making a left at the stop sign.

The flustered father grumbles, seething with rage as he glares out the window, “Did she really?”

_Everyone’s known about her being in labor this whole time, EXCEPT ME?_

“Yeah,” the all too giddy agent beside him recounts. “Yoosung called her and was like ‘AAAHWAHWAHBOOHOO’ when ___’s water broke, so she called me to keep Yoosung calm for ___, but I couldn’t run away from work until twenty ‘til three.”

Seven looks between the windshield and your smoldering husband, beaming as he flicks on the AC to help defog the sportscar. “But, it’s good things happened this way, right? You finally get to meet my baby, and I finally get to meet yours!”

“I’d hardly call them similar,” Zen mutters, catching himself grinding his teeth.

“Hey! This is the closest I’ll ever get to being a parent! Cars can be children, too…” the redhead counters, pulling up to the traffic light. “Oh, yeah. Speaking of cars, what happened to that super nice one Jumin gave you?”

“Out of gas,” grits the brooding male, clenching the fist on his bouncing leg.

The car enthusiast gasps, flashing an appalled look at the older, “WHAT? It’s terrible for your engine to run on low gas! How could you be so cruel to such a fine, innocent-”

“Yeah? Well, tell that to “Miss I Don’t Tell My Husband I’m About to Give Birth to His Child Until IT’S ALMOST TOO LATE!’” Zen snaps, his brows wrinkled with fury as he stares hard at the stunned eyes peering back at him.  

“Hey…” Seven’s golden gaze and voice softens, turning back to the road ahead of him as the light turns green. “We’re only ten minutes away; I’ll even try to shave a couple minutes off. But, try calming yourself down before we get there. I think it’ll be better for everyone, especially ___ and the baby.”

____ and the baby…_

Sighing, the anxious soon-to-be-dad hunches over in his seat, his words muffled as he buries his face in his hands, “God, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, we all have our days. I get it. No need to apologize,” the hacker smiles compassionately through his peripheral vision.

“No, I do,” Zen disagrees, straightening up to face his friend. “You’ve got nothing to do with what’s going on right now. You didn’t even have to give me a lift or do me any favors.”

“Pssshhh! This is nothing. You can thank me for the greatest favor I’ve done for you later,” grins Seven as he makes a right.

Taking a moment to contemplate, the actor tilts his head. “The Tripter bot?”

“Nope!” the mysterious male chimes, quickly losing his smile as he tightens his lips.

“What else are you referring to, then?” voices the entirely confused man.

“Oh!” the goofball exclaims, backpedaling his previous statement and giving a convincing wink. “Oh, yeah, the Tripter bot. Sorry, I was so focused on getting my passenger to the hospital safely that it went right through my cerebrum out my other ear.”

_Serum? Sea drum? What- Is anyone going to make sense today?_

Zen stares uncertainly at the driver, lightly shrugging as he sets his jaw in his palm and gazes out at the buildings passing by. “Well, anyway, I’m sorry for yelling. And thank you for doing this.”

“It’s all good! We’ll be reaching our destination in just three short minutes, so get ready to tuck and roll!” Seven beams, chuckling to himself.

“What?” the pony-tailed male questions concernedly, turning to the jokester beside him. “Quit joking around. You’re not serious, are you?”

The bespectacled man laughs, glancing over at the uneasy passenger, “Nah. I had you convinced for a second there, though, right?”

“Oh, my god… Yeah, sure, whatever, just keep driving,” Zen sighs, pulling himself away from reality to focus on calming his nerves before he sees you again.

 _Man, I wish I had figured this out sooner. Looking back, it probably wasn’t more than thirty-five steps or so to reach her, so they had to represent the weeks until she arrived. It just seems so obvious now. My dream was throwing all these bones to me, but I must have been too blind or too stupid to even think about reaching for them. But, today,_ **_right now_ ** _, my baby girl is coming. Why would she hide such a thing from me? Does she even have any idea about the amount of pain she’s caused me by not letting me know she’s in labor? Why would she want to go through it without me? What if I couldn’t make it in time? How am I supposed to feel then? And how the hell am I supposed to feel about another male being with her during such a private time?_

_Hah, who am I kidding? Yoosung doesn’t have the balls to do anything perverse. He sounded so terrified when he called, there’s no way he’d sneak a peek at her. He’s way too naive. And even if Yoosung’s probably sitting in the corner, cowering with his head between his legs, it’s probably good that she’s had someone there with her this entire time. It can’t be easy going through that level of pain on her own. My own pain probably doesn’t even amount to what she’s experiencing right now. Hopefully, I can just push aside this frustration and simply give her the comfort she needs. But, I need an answer as to why she did this...  No, no. The biggest concern is getting there and to her on time. Just, hopefully, I can keep my head on when I get there._

 

\----------------------------------------

 

 _Hyun’s most definitely upset with me. From how Yoosung looked when he got off the phone, there’s no doubt about it. He can’t be upset with Yoosung, though. I’m not going to let him put any blame on that poor boy. He was only doing as he was told; the incredibly stupid things he was told. Honestly, how could I think it was the smartest decision to have Yoosung cover for me? I’ve been telling him to lie to_ **_my husband for me_ ** _for the past four hours. Do good wives do that? No, especially not when they know their husband values his family more than all else. Who am I to tell him when he can involve himself in this once in a lifetime moment; this once in a lifetime moment he’s spent his lifetime waiting for?_

_Hyun’s the one who expressed to me how much he wanted this; to create another life with me. How sincere that handsome voice sounded, each word of his confession warming my cheeks. Those sparkling, crimson eyes pooling with adoration for me, so much so that it couldn’t stay contained. Those lukewarm, salty drops sneaking into one of the most tender kisses we’ve ever shared with one another. The snugness of his strong arms pulling me into his chest to hold me into that kiss. The waft of his cologne as he so carefully laid me upon those pillows, not a tinge of tobacco laced in that herbal, sweat-musked, lavender scent. All my senses were invigorated by him in that moment, and none of it was necessary. I know how deeply he loves me. I can feel it even without being within range of him… and it’s as if he wasn’t sure I understood how deep his love for me runs… that he felt he needed to prove himself to me once again. Did I make him feel doubtful of my love? Why would he do such a sentimental thing if I had already been doing a proper job of assuring him of my feelings? I must not have been. I sure as hell am not doing it now. Who does such a thing… to someone they love… and cherish… and couldn’t see themselves without…?_

“Hyun…” you whimper, your disappointment in yourself spilling from the corners of your eyes and trickling down to your quivering lips.

Yoosung halts the hand awkwardly rubbing your lower back and leans forward to examine your face.

“___, you’re crying?” he inquires, his violet eyes growing wide with worry. “I’m not pressing too hard, am I? I’m sorry, I’ve never done this before. I can look up how to do it right-”  

“No,” you snivel, fiddling with the fabric of your gown as you focus your gaze on the blurred linoleum beneath your dangling feet.

The blondie half frowns, moving his hand up to between your shoulders in his uncertainty of how to comfort you. “Umm, so, how come you’re crying?”

“Hyun…” you murmur, inhaling shakily through your nose and letting it out through your mouth. “I let h-him down… I-I shouldn’t ha-have lied to him…”

His brows furrow, voicing his confusion, “What do you mean? I thought you said it’d be better for him to stay at his audition.”

“AND THAT WAS A STUPID THING TO DO!” you shout, slamming your fists into the edge of the mattress, startling your friend.

“___…” he says softly with concern, now entirely uncertain if he should remain as close as he is.

Taking a few deep breaths, you manage to calm yourself some as you recount your memories. “He talked about being here; for everything. He wanted to be here… so badly… and I wouldn’t l-let him… And now- I’m about to ha-ave his bab-y and if- if I had waited…”

“I guess I know what you mean, but he said he’s on his way over ten minutes ago,” the sympathetic male beside you reassures through your sobs. “I think he should be here any minute now.”

“Why did I h-have to be so selfish?” you wail, planting your face in Yoosung’s shoulder. “I’m such a terrible wife!”

His breath hitches, his hands hovering over your form like similarly polarized magnets.

“N-No, I think you’re probably a good wife,” he attempts to console, lightly rubbing your upper back with both hands.

You shudder as you continue to bawl, “But, a good person doesn’t do what I did!”

“You are a good person, though!” he says with sincerity, pulling away to peer into your puffy eyes. “That’s why Zen told me he hopes she’s just like you!”

Both of you freeze. _Did he just say…?_

“She?” you question lowly, staring hard into his incredibly honest eyes.

“Haha, did I say she?” he laughs nervously, getting up off the bed. “I meant… uhh-”

Wiping your dampened cheeks, you lock onto him, almost growling, “He told you we’re having a girl? Who else?”

“Umm, what-what do you mean?” he asks, inching backwards towards the door.

“Who else has he said we’re having a girl to?” you bark, balling the bed’s sheets into your fists. “Have you seen that it’s actually a girl? Has he shown you any- ff-hahh ow...  mmm…”

Yoosung pauses in his tracks, debating with himself whether he should stay or take his leave while you’re incapacitated by that spooky stomach of yours. Thankfully, the door opening from behind provides an answer for him.

“Yoosung, you can leave now,” Zen says, firmly patting the shorter male on the shoulder as he hurries past him.

Giving a quick bow of gratitude and relief, your honorary assistant-for-the-day exits to the comfort of the waiting room. Your husband instinctively pulls your hunched form into his chest, his hands cupping your head so gently. The familiar comfort of his touch and scent invites your stressed body to just nestle into him as you bear through this pain, but your mind isn’t willing to comply. _I need to know what on earth he was thinking!_ He releases you without question as you bat his arms away, remembering that sometimes women do not like being touched during labor.

He waits for you to finish riding out the last few seconds of that agonizing contraction, sounding surprisingly calm as he folds his arms, “How’ve you been doing? Yoosung keep you good enough company?”

“I don’t know,” you grit out, wiping the last bit of spare tears clinging to your eyelashes.

“Well, he must have been if he was still in here when I got here,” he lightly chuckles, leaning his hip against the edge of the bed. “Although, I wish it could have been me this entire time.”

You clench your jaw and stare up at your child’s father venomously, your words as sharp as your expression, “Yeah? Well, I wish you would think before you speak sometimes.”

“What?” he inquires, shifting on his foot as he contemplates what he could have possibly done to make you so sour. “Where is this coming from, Babe?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know where it’s coming from,” you snarl, straightening yourself up to face him at a better angle.

“How am I supposed to know what you’re upset about when I haven’t even been here more than a minute?” his eyes narrow, becoming piercing as his calm demeanor dissipates in a matter of seconds. “If anyone should be angry right now, it should be me! What the hell were you thinking not calling me until now?”

“No,” you bite back, rising to your feet and gripping the sides of your gown tightly, “what the hell were YOU thinking telling everyone that we’re having a GIRL?”   

Zen’s face falls blank, his last breath drawn in struggling to find release. His ruby orbs dart all around your face, the harshness of your gaze making it difficult to not feel uncomfortable in this sticky situation. _Seriously, Zen? Is it really that fucking hard to explain yourself?_

Impatient and irritable, his lack of a rapid response irks you enough to not care about the level of your voice. “ANSWER ME!”

“It’s not everyone!” the frazzled man replies, pushing the heels of his hands into his eye sockets before ruffling his hair in frustration. “It slipped out when I was talking to Yoosung a while ago…”

You soften up a bit, but remain firm in your stance. “You’ve really only told Yoosung?”

“Yes,” he sighs, closing his eyes and hiding the center of his face in his palm. “Unless he’s gone off and blabbed to everyone.”

 _No, Yoosung wouldn’t. He’s not the type to do that sort of thing. The way he tried covering it up says he had no intention of spreading it around. We both learned about my daughter purely by accident. Daughter… How can Zen possibly know we’re having a girl if we’ve requested to keep the sex of the baby a surprise? Unless..._  

“How come you told Yoosung, for certain, that it’s a girl?” you tilt your head, easing your shoulders into a more relaxed position. “Are you…?”

His sights return to you, the hand on his face moving to the back of his neck to give it a quick squeeze. “Having dreams? Only about every week.”

“WHAT?” you gasp, feeling slightly envious of your husband’s prophetic ability. “You’ve gotten to see her this whole time?”

“Not entirely…” he murmurs, folding his arms across his chest again.

_He has, but he hasn’t seen her? How can he be so positive when a dream is that confusing? But, I do want to trust him though..._

“Not entirely, but you’re one-hundred percent sure our baby’s a girl?” you ask, beginning to toy with the fabric flowing over your tummy.

“As sure as the day I realized I wanted to marry you,” he simpers, edging forward to stand abdomen to abdomen as his hands lower to brace the sides of yours. “Plus, when have my dreams ever been wrong?”

 _I can’t argue with that._ Blushing ear to ear, you shyly divert your gaze to your fidgeting fingers as his previous words echo in your mind.

A hand comes under your chin, tilting your face to look back up at the smirk playing upon his. “Now, just what were you thinking earlier, hm?”

_Shoot, I still need to explain myself to him. He doesn’t seem to be too upset at me right now, but I can already imagine his response. The pain I’ll see in those warm eyes and hear in that endearing voice. The pain he never deserves to feel. The pain that stems from me. How could I do such a thing to the man I’d give my life for without a second thought?_

“I… I’m so sorry,” you tremble, your eyes growing hot as you gaze into the ones you love so much. “I’m sorry I’m so selfish.”

“What? Babe, you’re not selfish,” he says softly, his other hand coming up to tuck your hair behind your ear.

You trade the cloth in your hands for the material of his shirt, muffling your cries as you scrunch your fists and bury your face in it, “Yes, I am! I didn’t think- about how you’d feel n-not being he-here… A-All because I wanted y-you to do w… well- aahhhowww…”

“Shh-shh-shh,” he soothes, swiftly weaving his arms beneath yours and wrapping them around your waist. “I don’t need to know now, just take it easy.”  

He begins to rock side to side, leading you in a slow, rhythmic dance as you continue to hiccup and sob for more than one reason now.

Pressing the side of his face to yours, his calming words tickle your brain, “Follow my breathing, just like this.”

His chest expands, drawing air in through his nose until his lungs can’t possibly hold any more. Just as he reaches that precipice, he steadily releases it, the whooshing of his breath in your ear causing goosebumps to prickle your skin. You attempt to follow, gasping for whatever breath you can get while your uterus aims to squeeze the life from you as mercilessly as possible. _If only I didn’t have this bonus pang wrenching my heart, I might be calm enough to follow his instructions._ Bearing through the most excruciating sixty seconds you’ve experienced thus far, your contraction wanes, leaving behind an even duller ache in your lower back. Your knees wobble, your entire body pleading to be laid down as it relaxes in your husband’s arms.

“Let’s get you back in bed,” Zen utters, craning back to look upon the rivulet of glistening tears on your exposed cheek.

Those words magnify the twinge in your bosom. _Back in bed? But, he just got here. The man I’ve been dying to see all day finally has his arms around me. Don’t let go so soon. If I can’t explain my reasoning for earlier, he should at least know the reason behind it all._

“I love you,” you murmur, sniffling and closing your stinging eyes. “I love you so much, Hyun.”

You can sense the smile stretching across his lips as the drumming against your ear slightly changes tempo. Shifting your weight in his arms, he frees up a hand to stroke down your hair, bracing your neck as he leans down to plant a lingering kiss to your crown.

Nesting his jaw atop your head, he utters sweetly, his voice as sincere as the day you met him, “I love you too, ___; as always. Nothing will ever change that.”  

You unclasp your hands from his shirt, sucking up your exhaustion some to help support yourself while you slink your arms around his torso. Solemnly, the both of you make the fullest of the few uninterrupted minutes you have, melting into the warmth of the other; both knowing that these are the last couple hours you’ll spend as just two people.

 

\----------------------------------------

 

Brushing your hair out of your sweat-slicked face, he clasps your hand back in his tightly as the nurse takes away the basin you’ve just vomited into.

“You’re doing really good, Mama. Top of baby’s head is just visible, so give me another good push,” your OB-GYN states, running a few gloved fingers around the inside of your vaginal opening to help stretch it around your baby’s crown.

You bear down on the count of one, likely grimacing at the roaring inferno wreaking havoc in your pubic region. Your cries of agony are like arrows shooting into Zen’s chest. His heart is breaking for you, and he feels mildly guilty that he’s the cause of your torment. _You’ve wanted this baby just as much as I have, though, and you’re proving so. You’re doing great. You’re doing so great._

“...Nine… Ten! Okay, take another breath,” she encourages, giving you a few seconds to look back up into your husband’s adoring eyes before she begins counting again.

He leans into the mattress, kissing your temple as you tuck your chin down and squeeze your eyes shut, your body trembling as you push with all your might. Midway through count, your foot forcefully slips out of the stirrup, halting your progress in delivering your daughter.

“Woah! Dad, can you hold her leg back?” the doctor asks, pressing a sanitary cloth over your rectum. “We need her to direct all her energy into pushing this baby out.”

Zen swaps the hand holding yours with his other, then reaches behind your knee to tuck your leg up like the nurse is doing with the opposite.

Checking to make sure both people have your lower limbs secured, she begins count again. “Alright, now push! One… two… three…”

Your hand clenches his firmly, your grip increasing in strength with the volume of your screams. _Those screams; they really were yours. The only thing I don’t recognize is the level of pain my hand is in right now…_

“Nnngh-HAHH! Oww…” you whimper, tears streaking down toward your ear as you sob back against your pillow. “It hurts too much… I can’t-”  

“No, no, no, no, don’t say that. You can! You’ve been doing it and doing it so well! Don’t give up now, Princess,” he reassures, stroking your fingers with his thumb before he brings them up to his lips.

“He’s right,” your OB pipes up, the lamp strapped to her forehead lighting up your tired face as she glances up at you. “Your baby’s head is almost out. It’ll only get easier from there, but you need to push to get to that point.”

You angle your sights over to the love of your life, his hand releasing yours.

Using his thumb, he swipes away your tears and smiles so sympathetically at you. “I believe in you. You’re so incredible. You can do this.”

“You need to start pushing again, Honey. Just a couple more good pushes and your baby will be in your arms,” she heartens through her facial mask, continuing to expand your opening with her fingers.

Nodding to yourself, you take another deep breath, clasping Zen’s hand in yours as you bear down with her counting once more. Seeing you muster up your courage alleviates most of the momentary dread that settled on his shoulders. _See, you know you can do it. You’re so amazing, ___._

“Oh, oh, oh! Almost! Give me another good push just like that!” your doctor says brightly, wadding the cloth up against your rear and positioning her hands around the top of your child’s head. “Ready? Push! One… two… three…”

He keeps his focus on you, fighting the urge to glimpse at his daughter. _I’m not backing out on this agreement. I’ll see her the same time you do._ _It’s the least I can do since I spoiled the sex for you._

“Yes! Their head’s out! Now let’s get those shoulders free,” she says, gently rotating your little one to the side so she can slip through more easily.

His heart pounds furiously at those words. _Her head’s out already? It’s only going to take a couple more pushes until she’s actually here. Oh, god. I’m going to see my baby girl any minute now. She’s almost here, she’s almost here… Whew, calm down again. What if she needs to be whisked away as soon as she appears, though? She was measuring small. Ugh! If only I could just have a peek._ A gentle squeeze brings his gaze back to yours, your eyes brimming greatly with determination. _Yes! That’s the look I love so much. Stay in that state of mind! You know you’ve got this!_

He reinforces his grip on your leg as it fights against his hold, his voice emboldening you over your cries as you try your best to birth his child, “You’re almost there! You’re almost there! You’re doing so good, ___!”

The sound of a slosh makes him stiffen. _Is she out? Can I look-_

“Oh, just one little more push! Come on! Push, push, push!”  the female practitioner exclaims, cradling your daughter’s neck and wiggling her fingers into her armpit to free up one of her bitty hands.

 _Crap. I almost saw._ His anxiety is plummeting through the roof now, his breath quickening with his already rapid heart rate. His face flushes as the room suddenly becomes too hot. _Can time tick by any slower?_ A loud thrumming takes over his ears, swarming his mind and deafening his racing thoughts. _But, I’ll get to see her soon...  And watch her grow for much longer. She’s almost here, she’s almost here...  Just a few more-_

The unmistakable sound of amniotic fluid gushing and your hand quickly leaving his diverts his attention to your lower half, but all he sees is white.

“It’s a girl!” he can hear your doctor coo over your trembling ‘aww’ before she quickly apologizes. “Oops, sorry about that, Dad.”

The blinding lamp on her head shuts off, leaving him blinking away the dark splotches clouding his sight. Regaining his vision, he gently sets your foot back in the stirrup and refocuses on the gooey, squirming being being patted with towels on her tearful mother’s chest. Her squished face is turned in his direction, her pudgy arms outstretching up to him as the nurse suctions remnants of fluid from her airway. Then the sweetest, little voice fills the room… and the spot he’s reserved for her in his heart. _Our baby girl._

The strength holding him upright leaves his knees, and he catches himself on the plastic railing of your bed. “Hah…”

You turn your attention from your child to the man kneeling beside you. The fiery hue of his eyes blazes vibrantly behind the emotion flooding them. Hot, rolling tears skid down his cheeks and soak into the sheets, his eyes stinging in their fear to close. His lips waver as they curve upward in awe. _She’s finally here._ Slowly, he reaches out, his thumb and fingers so delicate as they graze across her sticky scalp. _She’s really here._ The same hand floats over to your cheek, his gaze as tender as his touch.

“You did it… Our baby girl…” Zen weeps, shuddering in his exhale.

Holding your daughter to you with one arm, you glide the backs of your fingers along each of his cheeks, smiling as you clear away the moisture glittering them. “Not without you.”

“___…” he whispers, leaning into your caress and finally shutting his dewy eyes. “Thank you.”

 

\----------------------------------------

 

[ZEN has entered the chatroom.]

 

ZEN: 6:03pm  

 

ZEN: 2.8 kg

 

ZEN: 45.7 cm

 

ZEN: **and in perfect health.**

 

ZEN: Just like her dad!

 

ZEN: (wink)

 

Yoosung★: (cheer)

 

707: (cheer)

 

Jaehee Kang: (happy)

 

Jumin Han: You’re 2.8 kg and 45.7 cm long?

 

ZEN: Seriously, dude??

 

ZEN: (angry)

 

Jumin Han: I’m only kidding.

 

Jumin Han: Congratulations.

 

Jumin Han: (happy)

 

Yoosung★: Where’s her picture?!!

 

Yoosung★: I want to see!!

 

Jaehee Kang: Yoosung, give them some time.

 

ZEN: She’s feeding right now

 

ZEN: otherwise I would.

 

ZEN: **She’s so beautiful.**

 

ZEN: (happy)

 

Jaehee Kang: I can only imagine with your genetics.

 

Jaehee Kang: (sparkle-eyed)

 

ZEN: You guys aren’t still sitting out there, are you?

 

707: We are.  

 

707: Why? What’s up?

 

ZEN: (pained)

 

ZEN: ;;I hate to ask this of you,

 

ZEN: but do you think you could pick up ___’s hospital bag from the apartment?

 

707: Mission accepted!

 

ZEN: You’re a lifesaver!

 

ZEN: Thank you.

 

ZEN: I’d do it later myself, but I’m kind of stuck here;

 

ZEN: **and I also don’t want to leave these two beautiful ladies.**

 

ZEN: (heart)

 

Jaehee Kang: You’re stuck at the hospital?

 

ZEN: The car ran out of gas as soon as I got to my audition;;;

 

ZEN: (cry)

 

707: And I happened to be nearby to save the day!

 

707: (cheer)

 

707: The Defender of Justice and Wallets!

 

707: Saving all new fathers from having to pay up a taxi service!!

 

707: You gotta admit

 

707: **my ride tops any.**

 

707: (happy)

 

ZEN: (seriously)

 

ZEN: It was nice...  

 

Jumin Han: I’ll call the insurance company to have your car sent over.

 

ZEN: (shocked)

 

ZEN: I completely forgot we had that;

 

ZEN: Thank you.

 

Jumin Han: Assistant Kang

 

Jaehee Kang: Yes?

 

Jumin Han: Do you have Elizabeth the 3rd ready?

 

Jumin Han: We’ve just pulled up.

 

Jaehee Kang: Yes, I’ll be on my way down.

 

[Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom.]

 

Jumin Han: Good.

 

Jumin Han: We’ll stop by the hospital after bringing her back home.

 

ZEN: Uhh, actually;

 

ZEN: Could you give us a couple hours?

 

ZEN: We kind of want to get settled in here.

 

Jumin Han: Understood.

 

Yoosung★: **Thank god!!**

 

Yoosung★: I think my stomach’s started to eat itself TT

 

Yoosung★: I haven’t eaten at all today.

 

Yoosung★: (cry)

 

Yoosung★: ;;;N-No offense, of course!

 

Yoosung★: I really want to meet your daughter!

 

ZEN: God…

 

ZEN: I’m sorry you had to spend your birthday like this;

 

Yoosung★: It’s no big deal!

 

Yoosung★: I learned so much today I almost thought I was back at school lolol

 

ZEN: lololol

 

ZEN: I’ll be sure to make it up to you sometime!

 

ZEN: (wink)

 

Yoosung★: (happy)

 

Jumin Han: Should we all meet for dinner, then?

 

Jumin Han: It is that time.

 

707: Yes!!

 

707: Can we go to that place with the fancy bricks?

 

Jumin Han: ...  

 

707: or burgers would be fine;;

 

Yoosung★: I’m up for anything at this point TT

 

Yoosung★: but a burger sounds so good right now!

 

Jumin Han: I have been meaning to try one...  

 

707: Is that a yes?

 

Jumin Han: I’ll let Assistant Kang know the plan.

 

707: (cheer)

 

Yoosung★: (cheer)

 

Jumin Han: Enjoy your time with your newest addition.

 

Jumin Han: (happy)

 

ZEN: **We certainly are.**

 

ZEN: (happy)

 

Jumin Han: I’ll be off, then.

 

[Jumin Han has left the chatroom.]

 

707: We’ll go get your baby bag now!

 

ZEN: Thanks!

 

ZEN: Oh!

 

ZEN: Let me run you out the house key.

 

707: Nah, I’ve already got it covered.

 

[707 has left the chatroom.]

 

ZEN: (confused)

 

ZEN: He’s already got a key to my place?;;

 

Yoosung★: Beats me!  

 

Yoosung★: I really want that burger though!!

 

Yoosung★: Gotta go!

 

[Yoosung★ has left the chatroom.]

 

ZEN: (seriously)

 

[ZEN has left the chatroom.]

 

\----------------------------------------

 

_And there’s the second nod._

“I’ll take her, Princess,” Zen says, carefully slipping your well-fed newborn from your slacking arms into his. “Get some sleep.”

“Nn-kay…” you moan softly, sliding back onto the pillows behind you, your eyelids too heavy to lift.

 _You’re so cute. And already such a great mother._ He smiles at your peaceful face, delighted to see you back at ease after all that suffering you went through. _You agreed that she was worth every ounce of agony, though. I honestly didn’t think you’d be so quick to say you’d do it all over again; in a heartbeat at that! I wouldn’t mind giving our daughter a brother or sister, but this little princess right here is more than I could ever ask for._

In the corner near the head of your bed, he steadily lowers himself into the recliner, nestling his baby girl in the crook of his elbow. She makes a nasally grunt as he fixes her pink and blue striped hat atop her noggin, his ankle coming up to casually rest on his knee. _Her head looks so tiny in my hand. She is a tiny baby in general, but that just makes her even cuter._ Bringing his lips to her, he gives her brow a light kiss, her face twisting a bit before falling back into its resting state. _She really is so precious. Those teeny feet I squished earlier, that chubby belly that I’m going to blow so many raspberries on, those bitty fingers that clung to my pinky surprisingly tight. I’m going to have to watch my hair around her, no doubt about that. Then these pouty, sloping lips that just parted ever so slightly. Especially these adorable cheeks, my god._ His thumb comes to the supple, rosy flesh, gently gliding over it few times.

_Now, to see these eyes she just won’t open again! I hardly got a glimpse of them when she looked around briefly. She’s already showing signs of your genetics, but are mine that rare that not even one physical aspect of me will show up in my children? Surely, you have some recessive genes that would work along with mine. It’d be nice to see some part of myself looking back at me. It’s not that big of a deal if I don’t, though. I’ll love my kids regardless; even after I’m no longer breathing._

“It’d be nice to know your name, at least,” Zen murmurs, a quiet snort of amusement puffing from him as he glances over in your direction. “Your mama was so sure she’d know what to name you as soon as she saw you, but here you are, almost two hours old, and she has yet to tell me what she wants to call you.”  

Pushing his foot into the ground, he eases the chair into a steady rock, continuing to talk softly to his snoozing daughter. “But, your mama worked so hard to get you here, so she should get some good sleep while she can. She really is an incredible lady. How did both you and I get so lucky, hm?”

_She probably knows the answer to that as well as I do, and I haven’t the slightest clue._

“I’m sure we’ll come up with a name for you soon, though,” he yawns, fighting the urge to stretch out. “You’ll have a name as perfect as you are.”

_If there even is such a thing._

“To think I almost might not have gotten to do this with you right now,” he smiles down at her untroubled form, moisture collecting in the rims of his eyes.

_I really can’t believe I almost lost both my girls._

He tilts his head back, sniffling in and rapidly blinking his tears away as he quietly laughs at himself, “Whew! I’m just so happy you’re here.”

Continuing to rock, he soaks in every wonderful moment of their very first session of father/daughter time. Thirty minutes quickly speed by, and sleep creeps up on the new father. Catching himself starting to doze, he regretfully decides to get up, knowing it’s safer for his baby girl to sleep in her bassinet.

“I’m sorry, Little Princess. I could hold you forever, but Daddy can’t be falling asleep with you in his arms,” Zen utters drowsily, rising from the comfortable chair to walk her over to the plastic bin on the other side of your bed. “I love you.”

He plants a lingering kiss to her forehead, her face scrunching the moment he sets her down on the flat, blanketed surface. _Oh, no… Don’t start now._ Her bitty voice mewls, growing into a wail in a matter of seconds.

“No, no, no, no,” he hushes in a panic, swiftly bringing her back into his arms. “Shh-shh-shh… Daddy’s still here. Let’s not wake Mama up yet.”

She quiets down enough for him to hear you stir and scoot yourself up off the pillows.

_Damn, I should have just walked around with her instead._

Groggily, you slide the front of your gown to the side to reveal your breast, mumbling in no particular direction, “Time to feed?”  

“No, not yet. She just wants to be held,” he says, shifting the bundle into one arm to gently push you back down. “Just keep sleeping.”

He flips your gown back over your engorged bosom before leaning in to lovingly peck your forehead, your worn out body succumbing to exhaustion almost instantaneously. Not wanting to disturb you too much, he walks towards the far end of the room near the entrance to calm the whiny being he helped create. He lightly bounces his arms, swaying as a drawn out shush whirs past his pursed lips. _Hmm..._ Finding it ineffective in silencing her whimpers, a long anticipated idea pops into his head.

“Hey! How about I sing you a lullaby? Your daddy’s a good singer, you know,” he whispers, grinning at the excitement of finally getting the chance to sing to his child.

He clears his throat, keeping his voice low for both you and the baby. “Good night, my baby. The birds and baby lamb are sleeping- No? Gosh, that’s the only one I know.”  

Half frowning at the tiny cry forming, he goes inside his head, digging through the library of musicals he’s seen and been in. _Yes! That’s the one!_ The soft picking of guitar plays in his head, giving him the tempo he needs before he takes a breath.

 

_“Lady, are you crying? Do the tears belong to me?_

_Did you think our time together was all gone?”_

 

He voices in that same low manner, watching his daughter’s gums disappear back into her mouth.

 

_“Lady, you’ve been dreaming. I’m as close as I can be._

_And I swear to you our time has just begun.”_

_Is she liking this one?_ Pausing for a brief moment, he strokes her cheek with the back of his index finger, looking for some sort of reaction. As if that digit were a magic wand, her eyes open. He gasps inwardly, breath taken from him as her somewhat puffy gaze searches for his. _Her eyes. If only it weren’t so dim over here I could get a better look._ Her barely-there brows furrow, her expression beginning to turn sour once more. _No, no! I’ll keep singing as long as she wants to listen!_  

 

_“Close your eyes and rest your weary mind._

_I promise I will stay right here beside you,”_

 

Zen coos, petting her hatted head soothingly.

 

_“Today our lives were joined, became entwined._

_I wish that you could know how much I love you…”_

 

He brings his lips to her soft skin, giving the space between her eyes a kiss. Her indistinguishably colored orbs fall heavy again and blink slowly up at her father.

Tickled by the peacefulness on her face, he smiles tenderly.

 

_“Lady, are you happy? Do you feel the way I do?_

_Are there meanings that you’ve never seen before?_ ”

 

Her gaze retreats back to dreamland.

 

_“Lady, my sweet lady, I just can’t believe it’s true_

_And it’s like I’ve never, ever loved before…”_

 

he whispers, the lyrics unexpectedly squeezing his heart as they resonate with him more than he had initially thought.  

A small squeal from behind brings him to turn around, Jaehee slapping a hand over her mouth as the rest of his RFA family stands silently in the doorway.

“I’m so sorry, it just slipped out! I sincerely apologize,” the awestruck fan bows her head behind a bountiful vase of assorted flowers.

Zen chuckles, motioning with the tilt of his head for everyone to enter. “No, it’s completely fine. I didn’t even hear you guys open the door.”

“We saw you calming her through the window, so we thought we’d try to be quiet coming in,” Jumin smiles, looking around the room. “How’s ___ doing?”

The proud father gazes fondly at the snoozing baby in his arms, beaming. “She’s asleep right now, but she really was incredible earlier.”

“Ah, should we come back another time then?” asks the considerate male, repeatedly casting glances at the swaddled infant.  

“No, you guys can stay for a bit,” Zen says, starting up his previous swaying motion. “___’s going to have to get up to feed soon and I’m sure she wants to see you all.”

“Good, because we brought your bag and a couple burgers,” Seven grins, holding up a paper sack and pointing over his shoulder to the blond hauling the large duffel into the room.

“Ooh! Gimme, gimme!” you shout from behind the pulled curtain.

 ____’s awake? How did she even hear that? And how did she manage to not wake Baby Girl up?_ The redhead slips the curtain to the side, plopping the bag of greasy junk food into your grabby hands.

Yoosung hobbles past Zen, panting as he looks to the well-built man for directions, “Where do I put this?”

“You can drop it by the bed, but Babe,” your husband voices with concern, giving you a worried look, “are you sure you want to eat that?”

You hold no hesitation in opening the wrapper, staring at him quizzically. “Did you forget that I just spent twenty minutes pushing out that baby you’re holding? I’m pretty sure I want to eat this.”

“You sure you don’t want to try eating something lighter, though?” he asks, feeling a little fearful of the outcome you might experience later.

“I only threw up once,” you counter, taking a bite of the savory sandwich then wiggling your hips in a little dance. “Oh, man, I’m so hungry!”

“Hi, So Hungry! I’m Luciel!” jokes the provider of your meal, giving you a brilliant smile and a wave.

You hunch over at his dad joke, giggling as you try not to spit out your food.

Zen sighs, your joyfulness infectiously bringing a smile to his lips. “Alright, well don’t eat too fast. You guys want to meet this little cutie before she wakes up?”

“Yes!” Yoosung beams, excitedly shuffling over to the father and child.

“Stop right there,” the protective male commands, his parental instincts telling him to turn his daughter away from everyone. “Go wash your hands.”

“Right!” agrees the younger, pivoting on his heel towards the sink Jumin just finished washing up at.

Yoosung gawks as the corporate director passes by, smirking as he instructs his intern, “Use hot water.”

“I know that,” the underling mumbles, turning on the tap.

Jumin fleetingly makes eye contact with Zen as he approaches, as if to ensure he’s still welcome to join in the viewing.

“I can already see quite a bit of ___ in her,” the slightly taller of the two states from beside the other’s shoulder. “Have you chosen a name for her yet?”

Your child’s father gives a short chuckle as he looks to you, “Not yet. Ask So Hungry over there.”

“Hm? Oh,” you mumble guiltily, quickly swallowing a mouthful of your burger. “No… But, we’ve got the name book in our bag, so we’ll definitely find the perfect one for her before we leave! You want to hold her?”

Steely, grey eyes full of hidden excitement lock with the crimson hues of your husband’s. “If I’m not overstepping my bounds, I’d be delighted to.”

____! Why would you ask him that? Can’t you see she’s happy in her dad’s arms? Can’t you see that I’M happy with her in my arms? Ugh, I knew I’d have to eventually, but I really don’t want to let her go._

“Hang on,” Zen says, taking his time showering his daughter’s face in soft kisses.

“Zen!” you scold, a small whimper escaping your child’s throat from the disturbance.

“Okay, okay. I’m doing it. Shh….” the reluctant dad responds, soothing the bundle in his arms as he raises a brow at the man standing before him. “You know how to hold a newborn?”

The well-versed male nods, readjusting one of his rolled up sleeves. “I’ve read every parenting book Assistant Kang has sent to my home.”

“He’s asked for a new one every day since you’ve made him her guardian. It was so challenging finding books that weren’t the same as the last,”  Jaehee sighs, fixing her glasses and folding her arms.

“If it eases your mind any, I don’t plan to hold her for long,” he reassures, waiting patiently for Zen to make a decision.

_God… Fine._

“I don’t have any issue with you holding her,” the ivory-haired man objects, taking a step closer to Jumin as he soaks in the lovely sight he’s cradling. “It’s just hard to stop holding her…”

Placing her in her guardian’s hands, her tiny frame hardly takes up any space in his embrace. He nestles her in the crook of his elbow, practically mirroring her father’s previous hold on her. Realizing she’s been shifted elsewhere, she frowns, crying out for the familiar comfort of one of her parents.

_See! She already misses me!_

Zen immediately strokes her head with the pad of his thumb, hoping the sound of his voice will calm her back down. “It’s alright, Little Princess. Daddy’s still here beside you.”

Proving that he’s done his research, Jumin begins to gently rock your baby, the movement quieting her as it reminds her that she’s still being held.

“Wow, that’s all it takes to make a baby stop crying?” Yoosung asks, peeking around the cradler’s shoulder.

“I don’t know,” Zen sneers, tilting his head at the boy, “is it, Yoosung?”

“Hey!” the blondie pouts, avoiding eye contact with the person who just roasted him, “I’m not a baby…”

A muted ‘danger’ alarm rings on and off, causing everyone’s heads to turn in Seven’s direction.

“Woops, forgot to turn my phone off! That Miss Vanderwood. I’ll be back, I gotta take this,” the hacker says, swiftly exiting into the hall.

You crinkle up your burger wrapper and wave your arm out at your husband, trying to catch his attention. “Hyun, can you hand me the hospital bag?”

“Hm? Yeah,” he says, ceasing his petting of your daughter’s head to easily lug the bag up onto the bed. “Watch your feet.”

“Thank you. I’m going to try to find her name!” you smile, giving him a peck on the lips when he dips down to retrieve one.

He returns your smile, his voice incredibly sweet, “Let me know when you find it.”

“She does kind of look like ___,” Yoosung comments while he analyzes the small being half a foot from his face. “Maybe she has Zen’s nose?”

“It’s kind of too early to tell at this point. I don’t mind her looking entirely like her beautiful mama, though,” Zen twinkles, folding his arms.

Beaming, the all-too-close male lightly taps her nose, her mouth opening in what seems like a yawn. “Well, she’s really cu-”

He freezes, cut off by an adorable ‘tchoo’ and a light mist sprinkling his cheeks and chin.

“Bless you,” Jumin directs at the bitty girl in his arms.

Yoosung turns pale, a disgusted noise emitting from his throat as he wipes his face with the back of his hand. “I’m not going to get sick now, am I?”

“What? She’s nearly 3 hours old. She doesn’t even have germs yet,” Zen assures, smirking at the naive blond. “It’s just a bit of snot and amniotic fluid.”

The sneeze victim nearly turns green, running towards the handwashing sink in his distress. He quickly flicks on the tap and begins dousing his face in warm water, pumping soap into his hand.

“It’s really not that bad…” the sneezer’s father grins in amusement.

“No…! It is!” Yoosung whines as he scrubs his skin. “I’ve already gotten more than enough of it from your wife! Ow- soap… my eye-”

_You got him with both? Haha! Poor kid._

Jaehee heads over to the struggling man, pulling out some paper towels to assist him.

“Hyun,” you voice lowly, covering your mouth with your fingers, your eyes blown wide at the modest box in your lap.

“Back!” Seven calls out as softly as he can, shuffling back into the room. “Woah, why’s Yoosung soaking wet- no, NO! You’re not supposed to open that yet!”

The redhead rushes towards you before stopping in his tracks as Zen peers confusedly at the contents of the square container. _Seven did this? This is from Seven?_ _Why would he give us an open… box of condoms…_

He locks eyes with the honeyed ones across the room. “You…”

With an unreadable expression on his face, he places the box down on the bed behind him and strides over to the nervous male, wrapping him in a hug.

“Thank you…” Zen breathes, squeezing the frozen male tighter.

Seven clears his throat, weakly returning the embrace, “Y-You’re welcome.”

“What’s in the box?” Yoosung asks, patting the damp patches of his shirt dry.

Jumin side steps to look down into it, changing his grasp on your infant to pick it up and hand it to the boy himself.

“What?” he exclaims, his violet eyes flying open as he drops the box onto the ground.

Jaehee’s brows crinkle at the foil packets now littering the floor, displeasure laced in her voice. “Is this really an appropriate gift?”

“They both wanted a baby,” the bespectacled man shrugs as he’s released, grinning, “I just gave them a little push.”

“You knew? How?” you question, still clearly shocked.

“Don’t tell me you already forgot what I do for a living,” the mischievous hacker teases, walking over to scoop the strand of rubbers back into the box. “I’ve got tabs on all of you.”

The conservative female crosses her arms and frowns. “I don’t see any reason for you to intrude on anyone’s privacy. Take me off your list.”

“It’s entirely for safety reasons! Don’t worry! I only check monthly,” Seven assures, walking over to your bed to retrieve the lid to the box. “Better safe than sorry, right? Speaking of which-”

He twinkles slyly, outstretching the repackaged box to Yoosung, “Happy birthday, Birthday Boy!”

“What? Why are you giving me those?” the appalled blond asks, attempting to hide behind the woman beside him.

She pulls away from him, leaving him to fend against the bizarre fellow on his own.

Mustering up the saddest voice he can conceive, Seven backs the boy into the sink, making puppy dog eyes all the while. “You don’t accept my gift?”

“No! I don’t need those!” Yoosung disputes, sliding across the surface of the counter and over to the cabinet. “Plus, you didn’t even buy them!”

“Oh,” the ginger smirks, “so you’re saying if I did buy these, you’d take them?”

“No!” shouts the antagonized male.

“Hey! Settle down, you two,” you bark, your baby’s whimpering more evident now that the room’s void of bickering. “You can give her to me now, Jumin. Thank you for holding her.”

Zen eyes him as he places her in your arms, his jaw clenching tightly as Jumin gives your daughter a light kiss on the forehead. “It was my pleasure.”

_It’ll be my pleasure to knock you out! That was completely uncalled for!_

“You should have a baby someday. You look good with one,” you smile up at him, trying to hush the cries that steadily grow in volume.

____, did you push your brain out too? What are you saying?_

“It’s highly unlikely I’ll ever get married, so that’s out of the question,” the workaholic states, rolling his sleeves back down. “Being a legal guardian is satisfying enough in itself.”

Zen sighs, feeling slightly guilty about his previous thoughts. _It kind of is a sad fact. It’s likely that he won’t experience the joys of a relationship and parenthood. That was another reason we both agreed about when we asked him to be her guardian. I guess I can let that kiss slide..._  

“Well, regardless, I’m happy she has you to watch over her,” you beam, snagging a blanket out of the bag by your feet while your infant mewls and nuzzles her face in your chest. “Mama’s going to feed you, just hang in there for a second.”

_He definitely doesn’t need to be here for this, though._

“We’ll give you some privacy,” Jumin says, fastening the button on his second cuff and turning from you as you drape the blanket over your upper half.

Being shielded by your husband, you lean around him and sadly wave to your RFA family. “Thank you guys for coming! I guess I’ll see you all again once confinement is over.”

“Give us a date and I’ll have Assistant Kang leave it off my schedule,” the corporate director smiles, grabbing his coat.

“Great! I can’t wait for her to get to know each of you,” you chirp, aligning your nipple with your child’s mouth, trying to get her to latch on. “Please, travel safe!”

“And fast!” Seven proclaims, leaving the surprise gift on the counter as he spins to leave the room with Yoosung.

“Hey, Seven,” Zen speaks up, halting the two men. “Thank you again.”

You shove the tall male blocking your sight to the side some so you can say your goodbyes more easily. “Yes! And thank you for everything today, Yoosung.”

“It’s no problem!” the goofy redhead grins, dragging the short blond behind him. “Enjoy your baby!”

“Yeah! Enjoy your cute bab-” Yoosung twinkles before being jerked out the door.

Jaehee sighs at their ridiculousness, turning to you and Zen as she waits by the door for her boss. “Congratulations again. She’s beautiful.”

“Thank you, Jaehee,” you smile, turning your attention to Jumin. “We’ll let you know first thing when we figure out her name.”

“Sounds good. I hope all three of you enjoy your evening,” your daughter’s guardian expresses, giving a short bow and leaving with his assistant.

\----------------------------------------

The door swings back open before it can even close and a nurse slowly slinks in. “Oh, good! You’re feeding. Sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you while you had visitors. I was just checking in to see if she’s latching well.”

“Oh. Yes! She went right for it just like the first time,” you giggle, taking a peek at her from beneath the blanket.

“That’s always good to hear. I’ll let your lactation consultant know,” the scrubbed female says, jotting down some notes on a clipboard near your bed. “So, have you guys figured out a name for her yet?”

You look to Zen, biting your lip ashamedly as you quietly respond, “No…”

“It’s not all that uncommon for babies to go days without a name,” the nurse chuckles at you, putting the clipboard back in place. “Just let me know when you find the perfect name and I’ll get it written down for you, alright?”

“Alright,” you beam, watching your daughter suckle.  

“Wow! Those are beautiful flowers,” the nurse comments as she exits your room.

Looking up from your bundle of joy, you glance around until your eye catches what the woman was referring to on a small, overbed table. _Oh, wow._

“I didn’t even notice those until now,” you say, gaining your husband’s eye contact. “Did Jaehee bring those?”

Your husband hums and nods, drawing the curtain and sliding the duffle onto the floor so he can take a seat on the bed. “They do seem like flowers she would pick, huh?”

“Yeah. They’re very beautiful…” you reply, your eyes narrowing as a switch goes off in your brain.

Not wasting another second, you snatch up the book near your hip, flipping it to the beginning of the section of the girls’ names. Your eyes graze over the pages looking for a particular word in each name’s meaning. _Flower… Flower… Flower..._  

“Something spark an idea?” Zen laughs lightly, watching you rapidly fly through the pages.

You shush him, your concentration unwavering. _There’s got to be something in here._ Your chest pounds as you reach the M’s, your palms growing clammy in your nervousness. _Her name HAS to be in here. Come on...  flower…! A-hah! Beautiful flower; Mi-Yeong._ Your heart leaps. _Mi-Yeong..._

Glimpsing down at your tiny, rosy cheeked daughter, you whisper the name to see if it feels just as right rolling off the tongue, “Mi-Yeong.”

Your heart bounces off your ribcage, hormonal tears springing to your eyes. _It does._

“What was that, Princess?” your baby’s father asks, leaning in to hear you better.

Lifting your gaze to meet the warmth of his, you say the name slightly louder. “Mi-Yeong.”

“Mi-Yeong?” he repeats, taking the book from you to look at its meaning.

_Please, don’t dislike it._

“Umm, it might sound kind of silly,” you voice meekly, your eyes travelling back down to the newborn in your arms, “but when we first tried for her, this image of a bud popped up in my head and I’ve been picturing it blooming ever since. And in seeing those flowers, I couldn’t help but think that that’s what her name is supposed to be…”

Zen slides the blanket concealing your daughter, a sweetness ringing in his tone as he looks at her, “A beautiful flower. Mi-Yeong. Mi-Yeong. Hah, Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Yeong!”

Both of you giggle at his arpeggio, your heart constricting in your increasing fondness of the name. _I hope that means he likes it._

“It’s perfect,” he smiles, cupping your cheek and sharing his equally dewy gaze.

“I’m so happy you like it,” you utter softly, choking back your tears as you look back down at your no longer nameless creation. “Did you hear that? Your name is Mi-Yeong!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone of you have any suspicions about that plot twist?  
> p.s. let me know what you think of the writing style change


	15. The Pain of A Gain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Zen's birthday, and it's also been nearly three weeks since you've given birth. How are you both holding up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I worked really hard to get this chapter out to you as soon as I could, like I literally wrote over 2k words in just 3 days I wanted you guys to have it that bad. And hopefully the 14k words makes up for the hellish time you had to wait.  
> I feel so sorry for Adriana_Morgan. All this time I've been complaining about her 10k long chapters, and here I go and write a 14k one. Hypocrite me. Thank you again!!!  
> And with that, here's the latest chapter! I hope you enjoy!  
> (Happy birthday, Zen!)
> 
> UPDATE:   
> I'm happily married now! And enjoying my work! I figured anyone who is still interested in this fic should know that I've kind of fallen out of love with the MM fandom. I want to work on my own original story with my own original characters and ideas.   
> I put a lot of effort into everything I've written, and writing for a fandom is kind of tough sometimes. Sometimes you don't get the characterization right and there's cannon that's always on everyone's minds. It's discouraging to want to write for a fandom when people become upset with what you write. I don't want t deal with that anymore. If I'm going to put as much effort as I do into something, I'm going to do it in my own story and get 100% credit for it.   
> I know it's kind of cruel to do this to you all, and you've been terrific readers, but I can't get myself to write anymore of this fic. I just can't hear the voices or visualize things for it anymore. I'm so, so sorry for giving up on it. :(   
> If anyone would like to take this fic over for me, leave a comment and I'll talk to you.   
> Thank you all so much for your support and giving me a chance as an author!

“Whew! I’m back!” Zen announces, catching his breath as he steps through the threshold of the apartment. 

Silence greets him. Shutting the door behind him, he swipes at the sweat beading along his hairline and scans the living room. Nothing but a plain, white burp rag occupies the space on the couch you were previously breastfeeding at. The image of his onesie clad daughter hugging your shoulder as you gently pat her back brings a smile to his lips. _I got so lucky to have those two. And just where did they sneak off to?_ He peels his sneakers off at the front entrance and steps towards the only other place you could be in the small apartment. _Are they taking a nap? Those sleepy ladies._

Swinging himself through the doorway of the twilight-lit room, he grins as he sees your panicked form duck behind the far side of the bed. “Don’t think you can prank me today! I saw you, Princess!” 

“I’m not pranking!” you reply. “I was wrapping your birthday present, and I’m not done yet!” 

He chuckles as his eyes drift to the teeny baby grunting away in the center of the bed. With a few paces, he leans over the mattress and carefully scoops Mi-Yeong up into his arms. 

“And what is this little princess up to, hm? You’re not planning any pranks on your dad, are you?” he asks, bringing the pitch of his voice up a notch. 

She curls her legs up then kicks them out as her face scrunches and hides her eyes as blue as the midnight sky. 

“Oh, my. Look at that face! Do you have gas again?” he inquires, setting her back down with her feet pointed towards him. “Don’t worry another second. Daddy’s going to take care of it.” 

You poke your head up and rest your arms on the bed. “You think she’s still gassy? I burped her for at least ten minutes.” 

“Hmm… Maybe she just has to poop, then. We’ll just have to see,” he dimples, watching his little girl’s expressions while he runs his palms down her belly. “Alright, you ready?” 

Taking her chubby calves in his hands, he carefully straightens her legs then bends one knee up to her tummy. He counts as he alternates this movement with both legs, lightly pressing both of them up on the third round. Mi-Yeong snorts, earning a giggle from her mother as a loud toot comes out. 

“See? I knew it!” he laughs, starting the process over again. “And one, and two, and three..” 

You let out a sigh and plant your chin onto your hands. 

Zen flashes you a loving glance. “What’s on your mind?” 

“Who knew a guy could look so sexy expelling farts from a baby?” you confess, staring up at him dreamily. 

_ Your mood seems to have gotten better since I left. _

“Yeah? You really think so?” he queries, raising a brow. 

Your head nods enthusiastically as you hum in agreement. _ I think I might have a chance tonight! _ Another cute poot is pushed from your child, and he smirks. 

“Well, who knew a baby could have this much gas?” he teases, lowering his face to Mi-Yeong’s. “I’ve been telling Mama to take it easy with the ice cream, but she doesn’t seem to take me seriously!” 

“Hey! Have you even seen the list of foods that can cause baby gas? It could be the seaweed soup for all you know,” you retort, straightening on your knees. 

Zen titters as he does some more bicycle kicks with your daughter. “I know. You’re such a good Mama for sticking with it. Tomorrow marks three weeks, right?” 

“Yep!” you chirp, using the bed to push yourself up off the floor. “I can’t believe it’s already been three weeks!” 

_ I can almost believe it. _

“You hear that? You’re almost three weeks old, Miss Tootie Cutie!” he beams at the baby who pays no mind to him. 

_ It’s felt at least twice as long. _

Pressing her legs up one last time, he yawns, his stretched vowel filling the small space without flatulent accompaniment. “I guess you’re all done! Your daddy takes good care of you, doesn’t he? You should thank him with some kisses~ Muah, muah, muah, muah!” 

“Your run didn’t wake you up any?” you ask as you pad over to him. 

He blinks rapidly to clear the moisture in his eyes and places Mi-Yeong back towards the center of the bed. “I felt awake doing it, haha. I’m sure I’ll feel fine after a shower, though; especially if you’re in it.” 

His crimson gaze flickers over to yours, hinting the strength of his desire if his words somehow aren’t enough. 

“But, someone’s got to be out here in case Mi-Yeong cries,” you reply, diverting your gaze to her. “I’m not about to run out soaking wet to pick her up.” 

“You don’t have to worry about doing it! I’ll take care of it, so, please, please, please join me? It’s been so long since we’ve showered together. I miss washing your hair for you,” he cajoles, taking your hands in his and bringing each to his lips. 

_ Please, Babe! _

You half frown, the knitting of your brows revealing confliction. “Hyun, I can’t. I know you’re going to want to do more than shower in there, and I’m still bleeding and am not fully healed yet…” 

“I won’t touch you there~” he flirts, snaking a hand around your waist and pulling you to him. “It should be fine to touch you here, though-” 

The fingers curled with yours slip away and reappear at the zipper of your jeans. His palm molds to you, his digits curving in to prod at the start of your slit. He moves them in tight circles over your clit, grinning to himself as you shut your eyes and stay put in his touch.  _ You can’t hide from me how much you want to. _

“It’ll help shrink your tummy back down… You keep telling me you want that,” he murmurs, capturing the tip of your ear between the warmth of his lips. 

A searing heat ignites in his abdomen. Pressing his groin into your pelvis, he swivels his hips, taking his time to make sure you feel just how much he yearns for your company.  _ You’re making me hard, Babe. Please? _

Your weighted intake of breath eggs him to move his kisses to your lips. “I’ll give you at least two. What do you say, hm?” 

“No,” you whisper, removing the hand massaging your nether region. 

“No? Babe!” Zen whines, squeezing you and grinding into you in his desperation. “I’m barely making it. I don’t know if I can make it another three weeks without touching you…” 

You agree as you try wriggling from his grasp. “I know! It’s hard for me, too!” 

“So, don’t do this to me on my birthday,” he pleads, holding you to him even tighter. 

“Zen!” you protest, pulling your face away from his chest. “-ppplugh- Zen! You’re sweaty!” 

_ Not nearly as sweaty as I want to be. _

He chortles as he places your cheek back to his firm pecs. “What, you don’t admire this? All the hard work I put in to stay handsome for you?” 

“I do! I do!” you dispute, pushing against him. “Let go!”

“You’ve got to sound more convincing than that,” he grins, rubbing his face around on the top of your head. 

_ Mmm, this smell. You’re so sweet. _

Your words come out muffled as you attempt to drop to your knees, “Ow- I admire you, Lovely Zen! Now let me go! You’re hurting my boobs-”  

“Oh, sorry,” he apologizes, helping you stand back on your feet with a sense of urgency. “I didn’t mean for that.” 

Taking a few steps back, you wipe your face with the back of your wrist and pat your hair in place.  _ Hah, cute; grooming herself like a ca- No! _

You look up as Zen plugs his nose. “What? I don’t smell like spit up still, do I?” 

_ That’s not cute! There’s none of those here! There’s no point in sneezing! _

“No. No,” he assures, releasing his nostrils to sniffle. “Just maybe clean your face off a little differently from now on…” 

A devilish smirk glints in your eye. 

“Hehe, I thought you said you’d like this kind of cat, meow~” you purr as you repeat your offensive actions. 

_ Seriously? _

He folds his arms and scowls away from you. “Yeah, but that was before I knew she could be so cruel.” 

_ Triggering my allergies… This is not good for an erection. _

“Aww, I’m just teasing you. I’ll stop for the rest of the night,” you simper, wrapping yourself up in his arms again. 

A smile curls his lips, a glimmer of hope fanning the embers glowing in his heart.  _ I knew you couldn’t stay away. Maybe if I try something different…  _

“I don’t mind you teasing me,” he replies, taking one of your hands in his and bringing it to his side. “You can tease me all you want, as long as you do it here-” 

He maneuvers your hand to the semi-firm bulge in his sweatpants, pressing your palm along its length.  _ Please, work! _

You look down at your hand as his hips roll into it. “Is that so?” 

_ God, this feels so unusually good. _ A second rush of blood stiffens him to full potential in a matter of seconds. 

“Mhm,” he hums, tilting your face up to meet his. “You feel what you do to me?” 

_ Don’t take your hand away. Say you want me to touch you, too. _

“I do,” you smile as you glance at the lips eager to seek yours, “but I guess you’ll never get to come again, then.” 

_ Huh? _ Your hand falls away from his cock. His hard-on involuntarily flexes as if to beckon your touch back to it. The absence of you brings a chill, making him feel impossibly cold in his heated state. With each step further you take from him, the air grows more frigid and the more his emotions grow lost.  _ I think I’m going to cry. _

“I think… I don’t think you’ve ever done anything this harsh to me before…” he expresses in his shock, threading his fingers into his hair and dropping into a squat. 

_ And on my birthday of all times. _

You round your side of the bed and tilt your head at your husband. “Zen? What are you doing on the floor?” 

“Waiting for the final blow to my ego,” he mutters, shifting to his knees at the edge of the bed. “I waited more than the two weeks you asked for. Why?”

“Why what?” you ask with a shrug. 

_ ___! _

He groans and stretches himself across the bed until his face makes contact with the blankets. “Please! You already know what I’m talking about.” 

“Hyun…” you murmur as you take to your knees, reaching to grasp his hand. “I don’t want to be mean to you.” 

“Are you self-conscious? If you are, you don’t need to be. You turn me on so much. You’re so, so, so sexy to me. Remember how I couldn’t keep my hands off of you when you were pregnant?” he affirms, locking his gaze with yours. 

“It’s not that. And I do remember,” you say, your lips curving upwards as a beautiful shade of blush tints your cheeks. “It’s just… I don’t think… I could control myself if we were to get that heavy with each other. And don’t say you’ll keep me in line! I know you wouldn’t be able to resist for long.” 

The urge to counter your statement sits ready at the tip of his tongue, but the sincerity in your eyes depletes the passionate fuel necessary to launch his argument.  _ There you go again, reading me so well…  _

Squeezing your hand, he sighs and plops his face back into the mattress. “You’re right; why does that have to be true?” 

“I’m sorry,” you articulate, swiping your thumb side to side on the back of his hand. 

“It’s okay, Princess,” he heartens, lifting his head to flash you his pearly whites. “I want you to heal up well. I need you to after all this time without you.” 

He winks, and you titter at his suggestive nature. “If only I had your monster healing capability.” 

“If that were the case, I don’t think we’d be having a conversation right now; not a coherent one, at least,” Zen suggests with slyness. 

“You…!” you accuse with a wide smile, pushing yourself up to a standing position once again. “Quit trying to get in my pants, and go take your shower!” 

Pouting, he watches you turn to the dresser and dig through the lower drawers. “Flirting with my beautiful wife is still forbidden?” 

Like instinct, his eyes zone in on your bent form.  _ Taunting me with that wonderful ass of yours.  _ His sights follow the natural curve of your hips and cheeks.  _ If you don’t straighten up quick, you won’t be for a while...is something I wish I could say! _

“Yes!” you state firmly, tossing his pajama pants over your shoulder. “It doesn’t help me any!” 

“I can still look at you, can’t I?” he inquires, the shape of you disappearing as the soft fabric cloaks his face. 

_ Hey, don’t take that from me, too! _

Peeling it off, he sees a hand on your hip and one motioning towards the doorway. “Don’t worry about that, just go get your shower! I need to finish wrapping your present.” 

“Gosh, so quick to get rid of me,” he feigns hurt as he slips back up onto his feet. “I’ll go in a minute. My little cutie still needs her good night kiss.” 

He directs his focus to the infant lying on her back, her arms spread out into a flexed ‘T’.  _ Wow, she’s already passed out. She didn’t need to be awake for all that anyway. _ Leaning into the center of the bed, he gives his snoozing daughter a peck on her cheek. 

“Good night, Mi-Yeong. Try to sleep more than two hours, alright?” he encourages in a soft voice. 

With another quick kiss, she flinches, the motion of her father moving away disturbing her out of her slumber. Her cherubic face twists into something other, whimpers following it in close stride. 

“Aww, you’re okay-” Zen chortles just as a yowl bursts past her pink gums. 

Catching movement in the corner of his eye, he peers up at you shaking your head, your hand planted on your face. _ Don’t act like she’s never cried around you. _

“I’m so sorry I woke you,” he coos, her pudgy tummy appearing small in comparison to the large hand rubbing it in soothing circles. “You want your papa to stay and bundle you up?” 

You scoff as you retrieve her blanket. “No, she wants her stinky dad to go take a shower. You keep telling him, Mi-Yeong!” 

_ Stinky? _ He brings the collar of his tank top up to his nose then checks his pits.  _ What? Yeah, right!  _

“You know that’s not true,” Zen corrects, eyeing you doubtfully and stepping back so you can lay your squalling baby’s blanket out. “If I were so stinky, how do you explain that second hug, hm?” 

“A hug of pity,” you tease, glancing over your shoulder back at him. 

His head tilts, his brow crinkling in disbelief. 

“I don’t know why you’re still being so harsh with me,” he utters, walking around you to snatch up his pajama pants from the bed, “but I’m not buying that for one minute. I’ll go take that shower you want me to take so badly.” 

_ I must have misread her mood earlier. _

As his eyes leave yours to follow his body, your hand clasps his forearm. “Hyun.” 

“Hm?” he hums, quirking an eyebrow as you pull him down to your level. 

Your lips press against his awkwardly, the deftness of your actions not giving him enough time to pucker his in turn. Breaking apart not a second later, he stares at your lidded gaze with puzzlement.  _ Now she’s giving me a kiss? _

“Hold on,” you say with a coquettish smile. “Let me give you a better one.” 

His mood perks and lips part at your promise. _ Or, maybe, I got it right the first time. _ Wanting to make the most of this change in heart, he dives in with you, squaring himself up with your body. Your mouth fits with his like it was molded just for him, pursing around his upper lip in time with his movement on your lower. Satisfaction squeezes his lungs, his nose expelling the warm air in a puff.  _ Hopefully, it’s not the last kiss tonight. _

Fearing this moment won’t last nearly long enough, the hand holding his pants snakes around your upper back and presses you to him. The fingers of his free hand brush along your cheek then weave into the hair on the back of your head.  _ I want to kiss you more. Please, let me have another! _

He breaks the lock on your mouths. The tip of his nose grazes yours, your lips skimming along his as he tilts his head to kiss you at another angle. You receive him with a hushed moan, your hands sliding up between your bodies to his pecs.  _ YES! At least you’ll let me do this. _

“I’ve got so much more to give you. Just let me give you a few more,” he murmurs, his words holding a hunger as he says them against your lips. 

“Zen-” you breathe just as he lands another tender kiss to your mouth. 

His hot tongue darts out to caress the seam of your lips, helplessly hoping yours will come out to join it. Another lovely sound emits from you. A steady, yet oddly enjoyable pressure forms on his chest. The only thing that would make this experience even better is if you would make out with him. He begins to wonder if you even noticed his advance, and it encourages him to continue taking this kiss to the next level. 

With the absence of your tongue, he tries again, licking along the sensitive skin of your upper lip. Still, his silent request seems to go unnoticed. _ I know you couldn’t have missed it that time too. Please, just give me a little tongue! Huh? _ An incessant tapping over his heart rattles him. Worried something could possibly be awry, he releases his hold on you. 

“Zen!” you gasp, retreating from him as you wipe your mouth. “The neighbors! We can’t let Mi-Yeong cry like this.” 

The sound of his daughter’s high-pitched wail floods into his ears, waking him from his romantic trance like a cool splash to the face. _ Damn!  _

He swiftly comes to your side as you fold the blanket into a diamond. “Agh, I’m sorry. I’ll help you. Come here, my baby girl.” 

_ I didn’t mean to break my promise.  _ Slipping his hands beneath his daughter’s head and buttocks, he cradles her over to the top center of the flower print fabric and sets her down. He steps back as you hold one of her wriggling arms to her side and bring half of the cloth over her body. 

“Hey, it’s okay! We’re getting you wrapped up. Just hang in there, Mi-Yeong,” you assure. 

She continues to cry as you skillfully bind the blanket around her, your fond expression revealing no sign of impatience whatsoever.  _ If only you looked at me like that again. _ Zen turns his eyes to subject of your affectionate gaze once more and half-frowns.  _ Look at that face. You’re so red, Mi-Yeong. _

Reaching over, he brushes the pad of his thumb back and forth at her hairline. Her wispy hairs feel just like spider’s silk, the delicate nature of them being a reminder of how close your lives came to not being woven together.  _ I’m so sorry I let you cry for so long. Don’t think I’m a bad father. It won’t happen again, I promise. _

“There we go!” you chirp as you tuck in the final corner. “You look like a little cocoon now!” 

He looks on as you lift and settle her into your arms, your lips pursed in a shush while you bounce on the balls of your feet. _ Man, I wanted to do that with her. I don’t think I have a right to complain, though. _ Mi-Yeong quiets down almost as quickly as it took her to cry, her eyes opening and closing in a slow daze. 

“Shh- that’s right. Go to sleep,” you whisper, giving her cheek a gentle kiss. 

_ Both of you are too precious. _ Retrieving his pants, he heads for the living room. _ I should take that shower now. _

He stops to give a kiss to his two ladies. “I’m sorry, again. I never thought I could become that greedy. I should have been happy with just the one kiss.” 

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up. I don’t blame you at all,” you say softly with a smile. “I didn’t plan on getting just one kiss out of that, anyway.” 

You wink his way, your reassurance helping to ease the solemn atmosphere settled around him. _ Oh, you temptress! _

“Hmm… Well, maybe after you get her down for the night, we can finish that kiss off,” he grins, planting another fat smooch onto the soft skin of your cheek. 

Giggling, you move towards your daughter’s bassinet. “We’ll see how much time I have after I wrap your gift and cook you dinner.” 

If his heart had feet, your words just swept them from beneath it. 

“Mmn-! I want to shout how happy I am right now, but I can’t!” he proclaims in a stressed whisper. “I’ll scrub myself up really well and make sure I smell extra good for you, so look forward to it, Princess.” 

“Okay, I’ll do that,” you chuckle at his confidence. 

Just as he turns to round the corner, you call out to him. “Oh, and Zen!” 

“Hm?” he croons, poking his head back into the bedroom. 

“I have my post-natal check up next week,” you inform from behind the bed, a certain sultriness quirking the corners of your mouth upward. “Since I didn’t tear badly, the doctor might give the OK… for you know what…” 

His heart feels like it just bounced off his ribcage. _ Please, don’t be joking. _

“You mean… It might not be three more weeks until we can-” he queries. 

You shake your head and beam at him. His heart floats up and away. He feels an immediate stir in his sweats, his neck tingling as heat follows his heart and rises up to his face. 

“You don’t need to wrap my gift anymore! That’s all I wanted for my birthday!” he cheers, skipping the few paces over to the bathroom. “Oh, my God! Yes, yes, yes, yes! I love you!”  

Shutting the door behind him, he tosses his pajama bottoms onto the counter and shuffles over to the shower to turn it on. _ Yes! I’m so happy! _

He spins back towards the sink and peers into the mirror above it. “Can you believe it? It won’t be long before you get lucky~! It’s a shame about these dark circles, though.” 

A finger comes beneath a crimson orb and masks the faint, lavender-ish patch. _ I’ve got to get rid of these. Maybe I’ll leave some of the stage makeup on if I don’t get enough sleep by then.  _ He scrutinizes himself for a moment then drops his hand and sighs. 

Gripping the edge of the sink, he closes his eyes and leans forward, pressing the top of his head to the cool glass. _ I need sleep. I knew I’d lose some, but not this much.  _

“If there is a god, all I wish for is a solid eight hours of sleep for one night!” he mutters. “Or even better, more time with ___ and Mi-Yeong. I didn’t get enough before I had to start working again.” 

_ I can’t wait until they can show up and cheer me on regularly. _ The image of you waving his daughter’s tiny hand at him from the back of the theatre floats across his mind, and he snatches it and pins it up before it can blow away. _ I miss them so much when I’m at rehearsal… _

He moves his forehead to the reflective pane, his fiery gaze burning brightly back at him. _ But I guess being away makes it even more rewarding when I come home, doesn’t it? Who can say they can provide for their family by doing their dream? There’s not many I know. _

He steps back and pulls his thin, white shirt over his head in one swift motion.  _ And there’s definitely not many who have a dream body like this. _ The tips of his fingers graze down all six of the firm muscles defining his abdomen. 

“Dad bod isn’t going to get to you; not ever,” he encourages, giving a wink to the well-built man sharing his admiration. 

Glancing at his chiseled form one last time, he heads back towards the shower, pausing at the hamper to remove his sweats and underwear. _ Ugh, I don’t even want to begin to think about how I’d look with a gut. _ He tosses the soiled clothing into the bin and slips his long locks out of their tie. His fingers comb through his mane, tousling the ivory strands across his back. _ A gut wouldn’t suit this hairstyle at all. Haha! But could you imagine? _

He opens the glass door and checks the shower’s temperature before stepping inside. Hot water patters on his tight muscles, the high heat working away all the tension in his shoulders. A sigh escapes him as he dips his head back to wet his hair. The scent of his sweat and deodorant waft up to his nose, and he immediately thinks of you. _ Maybe this is what she was talking about. It’s not bad enough to insult me for, though. _

Clearing the water from his eyes, he reaches for his shampoo and groans as soon as the bottle’s in his hand.  _ Damn it! That’s what I was supposed to do before heading home. Man... _  He puts the empty bottle back and snatches up your shampoo. _ I don’t think a day of this will do any damage. _ He gives a light laugh of amusement. _ I’ll just get to smell like ___. _

Popping the cap, he squirts a hefty amount into his palm and returns the bottle to the caddy. The sweet smell of your soap invigorates his senses as he lathers it into his hair.  _ Just think; this could have been you, ___. You could be getting a nice scalp massage from your handsome husband right now, but you’d rather be efficient with your time. _

He draws in a deep breath, then lets it out. _ I can’t blame you for taking that opportunity, though. I’m sure you’re tied up with Mi-Yeong while I’m gone. God, I love this smell. _

His head dips back under the water, his fingers helping rinse the suds from his long tresses. _ I hope you never change your shampoo. I only know you as this. _

After rubbing his face, his arm outstretches for his conditioner, but pauses in hesitation. _ I should probably use her conditioner, huh? Mine might clash too much with her scent. _ He moves his hand a few inches to the right and grabs your hair product.  _ I’m sorry I’ve got to use so much of this. I’ll buy you more, ___, I promise. _

He dispenses a good amount into his hand, smoothing it all the way down to the ends of his hair. His fingertips comb it through and work out any tangles they come across. Leaving it to soak in for a few minutes, he retrieves some of your bodywash and begins soaping his arms up with it. _ Hah, I wonder what she’s going to think of this. It’s not like I haven’t smelled like her before. That one time I soaped up her body… and she wiggled her slippery ass into me… _

A low groan rumbles in his throat, his teeth tugging on his lower lip. His semi-erection twitches at his recollection as he lathers up his pecs.  _ And I held her to me and teased her nipples… Her breasts seriously are the best when they’re all soapy; sliding around in my palms. And they’re even bigger now! It’s such a tease watching her take them out to breastfeed. Argh! I want to wash them and play with them; and play with her! _

His hand glides down his torso, bypassing his belly button to run along the trail of silvery hairs leading all the way to his groin. _ Like how she did to me here. _ He massages soap into his pubic hair and around the base of his stiffening cock.  _ Working me up even more… naughty girl. _ Gripping his pulsating flesh, he twists his fist up his shaft. A finger comes free to slide back and forth along the slit of his head, skimming over the sensitive underside with each pass. 

He chuckles inwardly. _ She was right about not taking a shower with me. The wolf in me wouldn’t hesitate to take her right here, right now. _ His penis bobs as he pulls his finger away from it, a strong ache for stimulation rising up to strangle his heart.  _ God, I need to get rid of this. _

He wraps his hand around the head of his throbbing member, squeezing it like how he remembers your tightness.  _ If I could just pick her up and thrust into her incredible pussy. _ With a stroke to the root, he shuts his eyes and emits a soft moan. _ Right against this wall. _ His free arm comes out to brace him against the soaked tile. _ Just what kind of noises would you make, ___? When I bury myself in you… and fuck the shit out of you? _ His hips rock forward in their impatience.  _ Are you even going to be able to speak? _

“F-uck,” he mouths, his voice a stifled whisper. 

_ I want you so badly, ___. Jerking off twice a day just isn’t enough. _ A yearning to become more vigorous with his ministrations jolts up his stomach.  _ I need you coming on top of me… below me… around me. How your pussy pulsates on my cock and sucks me in. The way your eyebrows raise when I make you shake and cry out. I love it so much. I miss it so much. _

Water slaps against his skin each time the side of his hand hits his pubic bone. The sight of your swollen breasts pressed and jiggling against him tickles his imagination.  _ I’m going to make you come over and over again...so hard, you’ll barely able to scream my name. I’ll even let you drag your nails along my back.  _ His thighs tense at the pleasure rippling up his spine. _ As long as it’s because of the pleasure I’m giving you, I don’t mind. I want to see you and hear you become a complete mess again. I’m going to make you so much of a mess, the neighbors will beg us to move out. _

He can almost feel the passionate response his promises would yield from you. His jaw tingles in the many places your kisses would sear. His neck stings with the many blemishes your hungry nips would mar. His hard-on especially enjoys how you would maneuver your hips to help drive himself even deeper into you. Until he feels all of you again, his excitement will only become more insatiable. 

“God, fuck me,” he growls in a hush. “Fuck me, Babe. Bounce on my cock just like that.” 

The bathroom door clicks open, and a soft holler follows. “Hey, Zen?” 

He instinctively halts his strokes and claps his hand over his crotch.

“Y-Yeah? Did you need something?” he inquires, his heart racing in unnecessary panic. 

_ Wait, what am I worried about? She can’t see through this steam on the glass. _

“Nope! Just save some hot water me!” you chirp. 

“You’re going to take a shower?” he asks, a smirk laced in his tone. “Did you have a change of heart? I’m almost done, so I’ll have plenty of time to focus on you~” 

_ This guy’s got a lot of free time, too… _ He drags his fingers up the underside of his shaft to his head.  _ What do you say, ___? _

“Yes, and no. I already told you!” you giggle. “Now finish up real quick. I’m about to put dinner in the oven and want to get cleaned up before it’s done.” 

Zen sighs in defeat. “Alright. Just give me a minute to rinse this conditioner out.” 

“Thank you! I hope there’s still some conditioner left for me!” you chuckle as you shut the door. 

_ At least I don’t have to tell her I used it now. _

“Of course there is,” he mumbles, planting his forehead on the wall. “There’s also this left for you.” 

Sadness fills him as he gazes down at his erection twitching in distress.  _ Argh, I was halfway there before she interrupted. There’s no way I’d finish in a reasonable amount of time. _ He pushes himself upright and runs his fingers through the hair clinging to his back. _ Especially with all this conditioner I still need to wash out. _ Tilting his head back, he assists the jets of water in removing all the hair product. _ Man. _

“Man!” he groans with exasperation.  

_I had no idea having a baby would be this testing._ _I hope this week isn’t nearly as long as the first three._ He finishes his shower with great speed, fighting the scowl that creeps up on his features again and again. _As if I need to exaggerate these dark circles with frown lines. That’s one of the last things I need right now._

Stepping out onto the bath mat, he snatches his towel from the rack and smothers his face with it. The warm air that expels from him comforts his tired eyes.  _ If I could just dressed and go to sleep. _ He blots his skin with the soft fabric then rubs it along the rest of his body. His towel catches on the part of him that reaches out like a beggar on the street.  _ No, if I could just get off and go to sleep! Maybe I’ll get time to after ___’s gone to bed. _

Hanging his towel back up, he retrieves the smaller one next to it and squeezes the water from his hair with it. He drapes the white cloth over his shoulders and looks for his boxer briefs on the counter.  _ Huh? _ Grabbing his pajama pants, he lifts them up and shakes them out. _ Did she really not give me any underwear? _ He shrugs off your forgetfulness.  _ Whatever. I’ll get some when I get out of here. _

He slips his legs into the cotton material and pauses at his thighs. _ Seriously? How long is this boner planning to stay? I don’t need ___ making fun of me for walking around with one. _ Hoisting his pants over his firm bum and penis, he opens the door and exits the bathroom. 

“It’s all yours,” he calls out, adjusting his erection to his hip as he heads for the couch. 

He plops himself down on the leather cushion and grasps his phone from the coffee table at his feet. 

A hurried kiss lands on the top of his head, your sweet voice in his ear. “Thank you, Zenny!” 

“Of course, Princess,” Zen returns just as the door behind him shuts. “Anything for you…” 

His eyes flick down to his groin. _ She didn’t seem to notice my hard-on. Oh, underwear! I forgot to go grab some.  _ He twists himself around and looks through the doorway of the now much darker bedroom.  _ I don’t want to disturb Mi-Yeong, though. _ Sighing, he makes himself more comfortable on the sofa and wakes up his phone’s screen. _ It can’t be helped. I’ll just get them when she wakes up in two hours. _

He stares blankly at the device in his hand.  _ What to do for the next twenty minutes… Ah! That’s a good one. _ With a mischievous smile, he types in the search bar ‘Sex 4 weeks after childbirth’. Numerous forums come up in result. Tapping on one, he leans on the armrest and begins reading. _ ‘Painful’? ‘Extremely dry; need lots of lubrication’? _ His smile lowers as his concern grows.  _ I can already hear my fantasies crumbling and crashing down around me. ‘But husband says I feel like a virgin again’... _

That last statement makes him pause and read it again.  _ Like a virgin? Oh, my God! If that’s the case with ___, I’ll need to be slow. I want her to keep having sex with me. _ His head flops back to ponder. _ Like taking a virgin ___… Ugh, it’s going to be so hard waiting! _

He rolls his gaze from the ceiling back to his phone and scrolls through the various comments. Many are nearly identical in content and almost become a chant in his head. His brain hums with the words that eventually blur into an incomprehensible sentence. The lids of his eyes feel even more weighted the longer it drones on. He blinks rapidly, opening his eyes as wide as they will go, but it’s in vain. The comfort of the pillowy material around and beneath him convinces him to surrender to his exhaustion. _ I’ll just close my eyes for a minute until she’s done with her shower. _

“Zen,” a soft voice whispers. “Zen.” 

A feathering sensation on his cheek stirs him from his nap. 

He rubs his eyes, his speech still taking its time in waking up. “You’re done with your shower already?” 

_ That couldn’t have been more than five minutes. _

“Mhm,” you sing, brushing his bangs away from his forehead. “Are you sleepy?” 

“Yeah… A little,” he murmurs, his eyes remaining shut as he leans into your touch. 

He hears you giggle as you play with his hair. “Are you too tired for dinner?” 

_ Dinner… I’m so tired, I don’t know if I can eat. _

“If it’ll make you happy, I’ll eat some…” he says groggily, showing no intent on getting up just yet. 

“You can eat later. It won’t hurt my feelings,” you croon, the cushion at his side dipping with your weight. “Though, I think my feelings would be hurt if you didn’t want to do this~” 

Warmth envelops his lower lip. _ Wha- _ His eyes fly open as your hand braces the sculpted edge of his jaw. Seeing your lashes fanned along on your cheek, he closes his sights as well, concentrating his senses on the simple joy of your touch. 

“Your lips are always so soft,” he whispers, securing your mouth to his once again.

He brings his hand up to your neck and slides his fingers into your damp locks. Your mouth follows his eagerly as his lips hug around your own. 

A chuckle rumbles his chest as he parts to meet your tender gaze. “So, is this the continuation of our kiss from earlier?” 

“Mhm,” you confirm with a smooch, the vibrations of your hum tickling his lips. 

He smiles. “And just how long will my beautiful lady let me kiss her for?” 

“Only kiss?” you question with a pout. 

His head tilts in puzzlement. _ Is that not what we agreed on? _

“I th-” he starts, then cuts himself off as he realizes his curiosity could play to his advantage. “Well, what else did you have in mind?” 

_ I think we all know the step that comes after kissing… Ooh, I hope it’s that! _

Your pout turns into a coy smile, your teeth tugging at your lower lip. “I’ll show you if you promise not to get too greedy…” 

His heart hammers at the offer you’ve presented so seductively. _ If I don’t get too greedy? _

“Babe, I don’t think you understand what you’re asking of me,” he expresses with certainty. “I don’t think that’s a possibility with my current state.” 

“You don’t want to know?” you ask, backing off the sofa with the saddest look in your eyes. 

“What? No! I want to know! I want-” he asserts, his sights falling to your bosom as he grasps your arm, “you… God…” 

The cups of your nursing tank top stretch marvelously around your full breasts. A hint of your nipples poke through, likely caused by the chill of your freshly-washed hair. His penis throbs, reminding him of just how aroused he still is.  _ It’s so much harder for me when you look like this! _

Craving your close proximity, he brings you back to his body, slipping his hands behind your waist to keep you from distancing yourself again. “I’ll try not to.” 

_ There’s no way I’m letting this get away from me. _

“That’s not the same as a promise,” you smirk, trailing a nail up the bare skin of his sternum. 

His erection throbs again and he groans. _ Come on! Get it together, Zen! She might touch you! _

“...I promise,” he strains to get out as he reasons with the beast inside him. “Is there anything else you need me to do?” 

Shaking your head, you position your knees between his thighs and lean in. 

Your cheek presses to his, the breath of your whisper warming his ear. “Nothing. Just sit back and relax…” 

Your teeth graze his earlobe and give a light nip. The sound of your lips healing the harmless wound sends a shiver through his body. As you thread your fingers through the hair on the back of his head, your breath descends to his neck. Your fingers curl in his mane and ease his chin up with a gentle tug. Your mouth captures the skin beneath his jaw, mimicking the nibble and kiss it just did to his ear.  _ Oh… _ He closes his eyes and sinks more into the couch, completely surrendering himself to your affectionate caress. 

His chest heaves out a trembling breath through his parted lips. The hands on your waist contract and retract, unsure of how to react in this blissful moment. He concentrates on the sensations of your kisses; how his skin heats with grate of your teeth upon it, how your lips soothe the burn into a comforting warmth, how the chill that takes its place only makes him want to encompass himself in that warmth again. The level of detail you put into your prurient actions is admirable. No expanse in that line is left untouched before you move on to the next spot. It’s as if you’re stringing a necklace of pink gems on his flesh, love bite by love bite. 

The strand ends at the dip between his collarbones. His breath hitches as the tip of your tongue swirls a pendant large enough to lap over both peaks of his clavicle. He cracks a smile at the tickle of it and peeks an eye at the top of your head. Your face moves into view and mirrors his expression. 

“Did that tickle?” you tease with a giggle. 

He nods, the restraint in his hair making it a rather enjoyable one. “Mhm, but only in the best way.” 

“Good,” you grin as you release his locks. “I guess I’ll just have to keep tickling you, then.” 

With the lightness of a feather, both sets of your fingers float down his body, following the flow of his neck to the hills of his biceps. They leap to his pecs, brushing over his nipples and the crest of his ribcage. He fixates on your movements as they roam to his lower half. Your hands slow, and his heart rate increases, taking his mind along with it. _ Oh, please don’t stop! Keep going, keep going… You’re getting there… _

Passing the sides of his belly button, they branch out to his hips and let the solid ‘V’ become the guide on their journey. His stomach spasms inward as your fingertips inch along at a snail’s pace. He grits his teeth, this tickling of yours becoming more of an itch. The urge to sit up just enough so your hands are finally at his cock screams at him, but he quiets it with his extraordinary endurance. _ Can’t be greedy. Just be patient… Just be patient… _

Your fingers approach the final centimeter of their supposed goal. His toes curl into the rug you picked out years ago. His mouth forms a tight line.  _ She’s almost there! She’s almost there! Come on, come on, come on…! _

“Oh, shoot,” you say with an annoyed pout, your hands pausing in their tracks. “I forgot I meant to keep kissing you this entire time. I guess I have to start all over.” 

His stare turns incredulous. _ ___! _ Your hands pull away and position themselves at his shoulders again. The pout on your face twists into a coquettish smirk, and never have you ever appeared more wicked. Zen’s hands fall from you as he throws his head back. _ I need you to touch me. Please, just touch me. _

He drags his palms along his face as he groans in his vexation. “Babe… Babe, please! Please-” 

His lips seal shut of their own accord. His brain is flashing with the rest of his plea, his words as bold and bright as they can be, but his tongue seems to have become blind. _ I can’t say it. I still care. I can’t say it because I still want her to touch me. _

The smoldering flesh in his pants jumps with elation at his epiphany. _ Hah, even through all that. But, who says it will be there? How far is she going to take this? _

“What was that?” you ask, tilting his gaze back to yours with the press of your index finger to his chin. “What were you going to say? Finish your sentence.” 

_ Shit! What can I say? What doesn’t sound too greedy…? _ He combs the expanses of his mind, digging for anything that might be of use. _ Got it. I think this should be okay… _ He briefly recites what he’s come up with and decides to give you the benefit of the doubt. Clearing the lump in his throat, he moves his hands to your forearms and holds them with a softness. 

His eyes sparkle with sincerity, though is heart wrings in dismay. “Please, do whatever you want to do with me.” 

_ I think that should do, but I really hope she’s not doing this just to tease me. I don’t think I can take any more if she is. _ You appear pleased with his response. 

As if sensing his distress, you lean in and murmur against his lips, “I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” 

His mood perks the slightest bit at your vow. _ She’s usually pretty good at that. I hope she’ll follow through. _ You lower his arms to his sides and encourage him to relax again. As if to seal in your promise, your lips overlap with his, lingering just long enough to give some conviction to your words. Your fingertips return to trace circles in the crooks of his neck, passing the time as you move your kiss to his chin. 

The press of your mouth beneath his jaw queues him to angle his head back. The breeze blowing down his neck as your lips jump to just above his Adam’s apple makes him shiver with an enjoyable chill. Your tongue darts out, the tip of it sliding over the masculine protrusion. He mumbles something incoherent and squirms, but your giggle motivates him to keep his composure the best he can. _ This better not lead into more teasing. _

Following the direction of your mouth, your body shifts to the floor, your hands making their way to his pecs. Your fingers now skim up and down each of his ribs as you kiss down his sternum. _ Whew! Okay! _ He sucks in his breath, his lower lip tucking itself between his teeth. Your hands settle at his lowest rib. The backs of your fingernails glide in leisure circles, and he summons all the strength he has to not move away. 

“Okay!” he yelps with humor. 

_ That’s enough! That’s enough! It’s not enjoyable anymore! _ Just as he’s ready to dance out of his seat, you stop. Your hands slip down to his pelvis and draw his eyes to you. 

“Wow! I’m so impressed!” you praise, running your thumbnails along the waistband of his pajama bottoms. “I knew my husband could be patient with me, no matter what.” 

_ Is that what all this was about? _

He beams back at you and strokes your drying hair. “Of course. Wait, did I do something that made you think I couldn’t?” 

_ It was that kiss, wasn’t it? I guess I could have gotten greedy there, but I stopped. Did I do something else? _

“Hmm… Nope! I just wanted to confirm my suspicion. That’s why I want to reward you,” you smile, leaning forward to give his abdomen a peck. 

“Reward me?” he inquires, the weight on his heart lifting by a pound a second. 

_ Could she mean…? _

“Yeah,” you attest, your fingers dipping into his front of his pants and giving them a light tug. “You want one, right?” 

_ Her hands…! _

“Yes!” he breathes without hesitation. 

His cock jumps and captures your attention. _ Don’t be joking. Don’t be joking. Tell me you’re not joking! _

“I’m so happy to see you’re so eager for my touch,” you simper, casting a glance up at him. “But, just remember: your promise still applies until I say otherwise~” 

“I can handle anything if it’s for you,” he coos, caressing your cheek. 

_ I hope this means you’re going to give me a hand job! A hand job would be so nice- No! A blow job! If you give me a blow job, I swear I won’t ask anything of you ever again! I won’t even think it! _

Sharing a knowing look with him, you rotate your hands to the sides of his hips. “Want to sit up for me, Birthday Boy?” 

_ Yes! _ With great speed, he presses the heels of his hands into the couch and lifts his lower half. _ But, I think you’re mistaken about one thing. _

“Boy?” he grins, his erection proving otherwise as soon as you pull his bottoms past his thighs. “You think a boy looks like this?” 

“Where’s your underwear?” you chuckle in amusement as he sits back down. 

Zen sighs. “Still in the dresser. I didn’t think it was worth waking Mi-Yeong just to grab some.” 

“Ah. You’re a smart man,” you wink, using your index finger to push his heated flesh to his belly. 

“See? You even admit I’m a man,” he asserts, his manhood pushing back. “And is it so bad to have one less layer to remove?” 

Your finger twirls around the upper half of his cock and he shivers. 

“I suppose not,” you agree, staring at his penis with fondness. “You always feel so soft here. I love it.” 

“Yeah?” he asks. 

You nod. Your touch moves to the underside of his hard-on and takes its time teasing it from root to tip. _ Look at you looking at it. So cute. Just what are you going to do with it, hm? _

On a trip downwards, your hand travels to the inside of his thigh, your free hand coming up to rest on his other. They give his tight muscles a squeeze, maintaining that pressure as they work away tension he didn’t realize he had there. _ Wow. That’s really nice, too. _

You gaze up at him with love in your eyes. “I wish you would relax more. You always work so hard. I don’t want you to stress yourself out.” 

“___… I love working, though; especially for you and our baby girl. I love being able to be responsible for the two of you,” he avows, mirroring your affectionate expression. 

“I know,” you smile. “I find it a rather sexy quality of you.” 

A faint blush of flattery colors his cheeks. “Sexy, huh?” 

“Mhm,” you affirm, your fingers walking up to his groin. “You were so sexy when we started dating… And then you made me your wife and became super, incredibly sexy… But, now that you’re a dad, I find you even sexier; so much so, that sometimes I just want to drop everything and let you take me right then and there.” 

His head pounds with the rapid beat of his heart, your praise causing it to throb in time with his cock. 

“Babe… You know I would take you if I could,” he murmurs with obvious restraint. 

_ It’d be so easy to pick you up and flip you onto this couch. Gah, I want to so badly right now! If only you weren’t still recovering.  _

“You know I would want you to,” you say, disappointment at the situation evident on your face. “But, let’s just focus on what we can do until then...like working away this stress here-” 

Your thumbs hook around the base of his penis, your palms rolling themselves flat against his pubic bone. 

Your tone gains a sultriness. “You’ve had this for a while, haven’t you?” 

_ I have. _ He nods. _ I’m so glad you’ve noticed.  _ Pressing lightly, your fingers massage him in small, outward circles. Their careful movements are calming. The way they work their way downward, alternating as if they’re tip-toeing to his testicles, soothes his heart. _ Even this feels good. _

“How did you think to do this?” he inquires, studying your ministrations. 

_ I should give you a massage like this later. _

You tilt your head in a shrug and palpate back up to where you started. “I figured a massage would feel nice anywhere. Why? Do you like it?” 

“Of course, I like it. I just never thought of massaging that area before,” he chuckles. 

“I guess I’ll have to do it more often, then,” you beam, repeating the same downward motion. “I like doing things you like.” 

“Is that so? And just what of those things do you like doing? Any favorites?” he asks with a sly grin. 

_ If your favorites are my favorites, I think we’ll have a lot of fun for the next few hours; or until Mi-Yeong wakes up. _

Your finger comes up to tap the tip of his penis as if it were your chin. “Hmm… Well, obviously anything that would make you crave me more; like this-” 

He stiffens at the palm suddenly cradling his balls. With gentleness, your hand squeezes, your thumb rolling each of his testicles around in his scrotum. A rush quivers his spine. His vision shifts to behind his lids. His lips part to say something– to make a sound– but nothing comes out. 

“Or,” you interject the midst of his delight, gaining his sights back on you, “something like this-” 

The digit sitting lonesome atop his member becomes accompanied by four of its friends. Wrapping him in a loose hug, they venture down his shaft, paying mind not to tug on his delicate skin too much. A husky moan finally emits from his open mouth, and he seals his lips together. _ I can’t get loud now. I don’t want this to end by waking Baby Girl up. _

“Aww, don’t hide your noises from me~ I want to hear what you sound like when I also do this,” you murmur, the last of your words gracing the head of his cock. 

He instantly becomes more alert, the warmth of your breath adding to the heat he’s already experiencing.  _ Her mouth is so close! Is she going to do it? _ Your gaze is testing as it fuzes with his. _ Come on, don’t tease me like this. You can d- _

You close the minute distance to the deep pink flesh and press your pursed lips to it. Zen’s chest raises in a gasp. His eyes stare wide at you with shock.  _ She did it! I didn’t think she would do it! _

The ache in his lungs stretches up to the stem of his brain, and he heaves out a sigh. “Babe…” 

“Hmm?” you purr as you give another kiss to the corona of his glans. 

_ Again? _

“N-Nothing,” he utters, admiring how you seem to be enjoying yourself. “You just… really surprised me.” 

The stimulation to his testicles pauses and makes him want to frown. 

“I surprised you? Hehe. This is surprising to you?” you query, holding his hard-on to your lips as you await his response. 

_ Would you look at that? _

“Hah, you’re so cute,” he thinks aloud. 

“That’s not what I asked,” you state, placing his member back to your mouth. “If you don’t tell me what’s so surprising, I might just have to take a little nibble…” 

You bare your teeth, and his arms are quick to wave you down. “Woah, woah! Okay! Take it easy, Babe. No need to bite; especially not there…” 

_ Don’t scare me like that. _

“You’ve got one more try to tell me what’s on your mind,” you titter, ogling him. 

_ Damn. _ That same hesitation from earlier creeps up on him. _ Things are starting to go so well, though. Would she really stop if I brought up what she said earlier? _

“Well,” he mumbles, recounting to himself your words prior to his shower, “I just didn’t think you’d take things this far...after telling me that you didn’t think you could control yourself if we got heavy with each other.” 

_ I hope I didn’t just doom myself. _ Bracing himself for the worst, he peels his eyes from you, finding greater comfort in examining the rings on the coffee table. 

“If we got heavy with each other, not me getting heavy with you,” you correct. 

Your fist begins to pump him as if to rub it in. 

“Ah-” he gasps as his hedonic gaze darts back to yours. “You can be so sneaky sometimes…” 

You chuckle, your lustful intentions flickering in your eyes. “Did you honestly think I wouldn’t do anything special for your birthday?” 

“You fooled me. God…” he voices, marveling at how your grip on his cock is nearly identical to his in strength. “I knew I couldn’t trust you not to prank me today.” 

_ I’m surprised you remembered how firmly I like it. _

“April Fools’ only comes once a year,” you remind him. 

“So how could you not celebrate,” he finishes for you, the pleasure he’s experiencing keeping him from over-exaggerating your words. 

Tittering, you give him a sincere smile. “But, your birthday also only comes once a year...so now I want to start celebrating that part of the day, if that’s okay with you…” 

“You’re kidding, right?” he questions, though he suspects he already knows your answer. “You’re funny to even think you need my permission to do that.” 

_ You especially don’t need my permission to do perverted things to me. _

“I just wanted you to know that I’m always thinking of you,” you croon, conveying it by softly spitting on the tip of his erection. 

Your hand is swift, giving the viscous fluid no time to ooze and no time for him to prepare himself for the sudden, slick warmth enveloping the entirety of his penis. His jaw drops, his eyebrows furrowing in the opposite direction. A moan moderate in volume slips from him and he stifles the remainder of it. _ Shit! That one was too loud. _ He spins his head towards the bedroom behind him. _ Mi-Yeong’s going to wake up now, I know it. _

“Don’t worry. She can’t hear you. I’ve turned on the white noise machine, so be as loud as you want…” you encourage, your free thumb rubbing along one of his pelvic bones. 

“You…” he trails off as he turns back to you. “You sure that’s going to cut it?” 

His eyes fall to the hand sliding up and down his shaft at an easy-going pace.  _ Fuck, Babe… _

“I guess we’ll just have to find out,” you propose, adding more saliva to his hard-on. 

The sight of the clear liquid briefly dribbling from your pursed lips elevates his level of excitement even more. Your fingers glide up to his tip, each pad dipping through the puddle spilling down his cock. With the last of it coating your pinky, you ease them into a grip again and bring the additional substance down to intermingle with the rest. 

Subtle smacking sounds litter the air with each stroke to his head and root. The hand on his hip returns to his testicles and gives them a gentle squeeze. Finishing its quick caress, it ventures a bit further to visit territory that’s rarely explored. 

Your thumb stretches to the area beneath his balls and presses on his perineum. Keeping your touch light, you wiggle your digit side to side along the cord. He lets out a soft moan as you work your way up from his anus to his scrotum. His body feels compelled to loll back, and it does as you indulge him yet another relaxing massage. 

“This is so nice…” he squeezes out. 

_ How come you don’t do this more often? _

“I’m glad you like it. I wasn’t sure if you did or not,” you say with satisfaction as you meet his testicles again. “I do know, for a fact, that you like this, though.” 

Your hand comes up to the top half of his cock and wraps around it. Stroking in time with one another, they become one encompassing unit bouncing between his head and base. His body feels compelled to straighten, and it does as your stimulus tugs him upright. 

“Oh, my god…” he murmurs. 

His warring responses appear to please you. “But I haven’t even gotten to your favorite part of this yet.” 

You twist your hands in opposite directions and pick up your pace. The fingers of your upper hand act like texturized grooves, invigorating him from the groin up. With each pass over the most sensitive part of him, disbelief becomes a primary emotion. _ I can’t believe it. _

Half-laughing at himself, Zen pants, “You’re going to make me come already by doing that.” 

“Is that not what you want to do?” you simper. 

He holds his breath while he gives a second of thought. “You’re not wrong- Fuck…” 

He falls back into the cushion behind him. Lustful surges fly up his abdomen in rapid succession. As you bring him closer to the peak of stimulation, he gazes at you with adoration. Your skin is still so luminous. Your cleavage jiggles the slightest bit from the motions of your arms. Your hair looks much softer now that it’s dry. _ Now that it’s dry. _

“Babe, wait… Slow down a minute,” he entreats, reaching a hand out to both of yours. 

_ Can’t come yet. Don’t come yet. _ You halt your strokes, and his impending climax falls away from him.  _ Phew. _

Quirking your head, you release him and sit back on your heels. “Is something wrong? Did I mess up?” 

“What? No!” he assures, running a palm down your hair. “You’re doing great. It all feels so amazing… Really.” 

_ I was right; your hair is soft. _

You smile at his compliment, but it’s only brief. “Then, what is it?” 

“It’s just… You just got cleaned up. Are you sure you’re fine with me coming all over you?” he asks, taking his hand back to his side. 

Your concerned eyes turn thankful, and your smile returns. 

“You’re so considerate. I didn’t even think about that,” you impart, gripping the lower half of his cock once more. “I guess you’ll just have to come in my mouth, then.” 

The last word from your mouth is nearly pushed back in by the head of his penis. His breath escapes him. His hands curl into fists, and his thighs tense. His eyes close the further your lips descend upon him, spiting his intense desire to watch you take as much of him as you can. 

The heat of your mouth ends at the hand grasping the base of his erection. He regains his sight and follows your gaze as you make your way up and off of him. 

“I love the way you taste after a shower,” you comment, flicking the tip of your tongue against his glans. 

He takes a quivering breath as a lustful haze settles around him. “I love you. I love the way you look at me- with those lovely eyes of yours. You’re so beautiful.” 

You look off to the side. The hue of your irises light up in contrast to the bashful tint on your cheeks. 

“You always make me blush,” you say, meeting his gaze again. “I wish you would have pet my hair longer.” 

“Is that something you love, too?” he queries, reaching out to your hair again. 

_ You cutie. _

Nodding with enthusiasm, you bring his hand the rest of the way. “I do. I also love it when you get needy and tangle it up in your fist.” 

The sweet aura surrounding you becomes provocative and gets even himself blushing. The flat of your tongue replaces your thumb at the start of his length. Unhurriedly, you drag it up along it. The firm press of your tongue tilts his hard-on towards his stomach the higher you inch. Reaching the summit, you give him a sultry lick. 

“Don’t hesitate to grab it if you need it,” you enjoin, flashing him an emboldening glance as you take him into your mouth once again. 

He moans with no restraint, the friction of your lips and tongue heating him up to his melting point in no time at all. Seeing your locks starting to fall into your face, he combs his fingers through them and pushes them back. _ I want to see all of that pretty face while you suck me off. _

With lidded sight, he continues to admire you. Your other hand comes up, its palm splaying and resting flat on his pubic bone. Your lips are taut and tucked in as you lower your head, only turning out from the tug of them sliding back up. An ‘mmm’ humming from the back of your throat hints at how truthful you were with your comment moments ago. _ I hope you love the taste of my cum, too. _ Your eyes are closed as if you’re enjoying a French kiss with his cock, and with the way you waggle your tongue on the underside of it, it sure feels like it. You have his penis feeling as delighted as you seem. 

“You’re so good to me…” Zen utters with effort as you work to make him breathless. “You have me turned on so much, right now.” 

You hum again. Your eyes flick up to his for a fleeting second, smiling for your mouth that’s preoccupied with another task. Excess saliva glistens and seeps from the corners of your lips. The fist grasping him at his base squeezes just a bit tighter and joins in the motions of your head. 

As your hand brings the warm liquid down into his pubic hair, your mouth applies more suction. The same pleasurable surges from his stalled ejaculation rush up into his chest. His fingers curl into your tresses, and his need for air becomes greater. 

“You’re going to make me come soon,” he pants. 

Hearing his confession, you pick up your pace. The suction around him breaks almost every time your mouth meets the ridge of his head, resulting in an occasional, lewd slurp on your end. 

His heart rate increases as he observes the hair knotting in his fingers and the moisture painted all around your lips. “God, you’re so sexy…” 

_ And so sloppy at this...but it’s still so sexy to me. Fuck- _

He bites his lower lip. The muscles in his thighs, buttocks, and abdomen tighten. His mouth gapes to draw in deeper, quicker breaths. The slope of his eyebrows climbs higher the nearer he approaches his peak; and he’s approaching it with unfearful strides. _ I’m going to come. _ His testicles pull up, and his cock grows stiffer. _ Fuck, I’m coming. _

“Babe. Babe! I’m coming! Oh, G-hahh-” he moans as he plumits over the top. 

His jaw falls slack, and his eyes squeeze shut. His body leans forward in shuddering spasms. His cock throbs and contracts as you continue to bob around him, beckoning the first spurt to shoot into the back of your throat. 

You still the movements on his head after the largest of his load leaves him, paying mind to not overstimulate him. Moaning around him, you continue to coax his semen up into your mouth with your hand instead. _ She remembered. Fuck, this is so perfect… _

He reclines back. Your moans shorten in length and become louder. They grow more frequent the more he comes back down to earth and oddly remind him of something else. _ Is she trying to say my name with my dick in her mouth? Haha, you can come up, Cutie. _

“...okay?” you seem to mumble. 

“Okay? Am I okay?” he chuckles, grinning at the ceiling. “Why wouldn’t I be-”

“ZEN!” 

He flies forward at your shout. “Huh? Yeah?” 

His heart flips back into place, still startled at the force in which it was thrown. He wearily scans the space between his legs. You aren’t sitting there anymore. He looks to his fist, curious as to what he’s still gripping onto. _ The couch? _ The pale blue cloaking his thighs says his pants are back on. _ She did this? I didn’t even feel it. Where did she go already? _

He whips around to his side to search the room, and there he finds you only a foot away on the cushion beside him. Your eyes appear stunned. The bits of cheek peeking up from behind the hand concealing your lips are flushed bright red. The tank top you were previously wearing has become an oversized T-shirt that drapes just over your bare thighs. 

“Are you okay?” you ask, a hint of embarrassment tinging your words. 

His expression turns puzzled. “Yeah. What makes you ask?” 

Your hand comes away from your face and points to his lap. He follows your finger to the area it could possibly be referring to and freezes when he gets to it. _ Why is- No… _ He pinches the damp fabric near his hip between his fingers. 

A sliminess coats them as he rolls it around. “No way…” 

_ That’s my cum. _ He reaches behind him for the towel that slipped off his shoulders and wipes his hand on it.  _ I came in my pants. I came in my pants, which means… _

“Argh!” he groans, threading both sets of fingers into his hair and tossing his elbows onto his knees. “No…” 

“Hyun?” Your voice is soft as your hand comes to his shoulder. 

“It all felt so real,” he murmurs to himself. “Why couldn’t it have been real?” 

“Hyun, what are you talking about?” you inquire, leaning in to likely hear with more clarity. 

A smirk finds its way onto his lips. _ God. How humiliating. _

Laughing breathily, he plops himself onto the cushion behind him. “This hasn’t happened to me since I was fifteen.” 

“A wet dream?” you query. 

“Yeah. And someone actually got to see it happen this time,” he snickers with disbelief as he looks to you. “How much did you see?” 

You blush and shift on your knees. “U-Umm… Everything, just about...but it was kind of hot!” 

His brows lift at your last six words. 

“Hot?” He straightens. 

You nod vigorously. “Mhm.” 

“Just what did I do?” he asks, twisting himself to give you his undivided attention. 

“Hmm,” you think aloud, looking up to the ceiling as if your recollection is written up there. “Well, I got out of the shower and saw you were passed out on the couch, so I finished up dinner to let you sleep some more. Then, when I was done, I snuck over to tell you it was ready, but you didn’t budge. So, I climbed up next to you and started tickling your ear and ribs to wake you, and I thought you were going to because you groaned, but you still didn’t. Then, I saw your… boner kind of jump up, and…” 

_ I felt that in my dream! _

His interest climbs. “And?”

“And I might have poked and tickled it a few times… I’m sorry!” you confess, looking away in shame. 

_ So, she actually touched me. _

“Don’t be silly. There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he chuckles as he brings your gaze back to his. “Is that all? I know there’s got to be more.” 

You and scoot a few inches closer. “There is. Umm, so, I touched you there, and right away you started whimpering. And, at first, I thought maybe you were having a bad dream, but then you smiled and grabbed onto the couch cushion, so it made me want to touch you again; and I did. And after a few seconds, you started breathing really hard and looked like you were in pain, so I stopped and watched...and then it only got more intense from there. Your abs started rolling, and your skin got really flushed, and then you moaned out...and naturally I looked at your penis…” 

Your face grows a remarkable shade of red as you fidget your hips. “And I saw your pants grow wet...and your semen shoot up through them. It was super shocking, but I felt bad because I thought I might have caused it, so I tried waking you up again so you wouldn’t have to sit in cummy pants. And now we’re here…” 

It falls silent at the conclusion of your explanation. 

“Wow,” he contemplates then grabs one of the hands resting on your thighs. “So, I’m like this because of you.” 

“I’m sorry!” you apologize, fighting his grip to hide your face. 

“I’m not mad,” Zen laughs as he gives your wrist a kiss. “You know what this means?” 

You stare at him, clueless. “No?” 

“My dream was real to some extent! I actually came from your touch and not just my imagination!” he proclaims, smooching the back of your hand multiple times as if to rejoice. 

“What,” you chortle, still clearly confused about his antics. “What did I make you dream about, anyway?” 

He chuckles and rubs his kisses into your skin with his thumb. “Well, I dreamt of you kissing my ear and grazing your fingers down my body. And then you wanted to give me a birthday gift, and also reward me for being so patient with you, so you climbed down between my legs and gave me a little massage...and a little bit of stroking...and one of the best blowjobs of my life.” 

“All that from me tickling you?” you ask in your bashful state. 

He nods. “Haha. You’re so cute when you’re flustered.” 

His fingers come up to brush the hair away from your face. 

“So, you’re happy about me ruining your pajamas?” You tilt your head. 

“Of course!” he chirps, giving you the best smile he can muster. “I got the handjob I thought I wouldn’t be getting tonight.” 

You laugh and shake your head. “You can be so funny sometimes.” 

“I’m glad I can keep my babe entertained,” he winks, then slips to the edge of the sofa. “I’ll go get some new pants on, and we can eat that delicious dinner you made, alright?” 

As soon as he pops up, you clasp his pinky finger. “Hyun, wait. Umm, can I talk to you for a minute?” 

The rather jocular look on your face has faded into something more solemn. Like any time the love of your life asks to talk, he starts to feel uneasy. _ Is this going to be about why she doesn’t want to be physical? Is she upset about something? _

“Yeah. What’s on your mind, Princess?” he questions as he lowers himself back down beside you. 

_ God, I hope she’s not falling out of love with me. That’s not uncommon with postpartum depression. Although, I don’t think I’ve seen her with any symptoms. _

“Oh, don’t look like that. It’s nothing bad,” you titter, shuffling forward until your knees hit the side of his leg. “I should have clarified that when I first asked.” 

A breath of relief escapes his lungs. “Thank God. I thought my heart was going to stop.” 

_ Hah, what were you thinking, Zen? She wouldn’t have touched you and told you she liked it if she was. _

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!” you pout as you wrap your arms around his neck in a hug.  

“It’s okay,” he assures, sliding a hand onto your hip. “What was it you wanted to tell me?” 

You pull away until only your palms remain on his shoulders. 

Sincerity sparkles in your eyes. “Umm, I… I want to apologize to you and say I’m sorry...for neglecting you.” 

“Neglecting me? When have you done that?” he asks as his thumb moves like a wiper blade on your clothed skin. 

“I kind of feel like I’ve been doing it since before having Mi-Yeong, but especially more now in the past couple weeks,” you say, biting back a quivering lip. “You jumped right back into work without any complaint and have been working so hard for all of us. And you’ve been such a good father to Mi-Yeong...and so good to me and patient with me...and I feel like I haven’t been with you.” 

A distressed puff bursts past your lips, and in a hurry, you press a curled index finger to them. The rims of your eyes redden and gloss over with moisture. A lone tear scrambles down your cheek. You look down and away in what appears to be embarrassment, and it gets his gut churning. 

His palms come beneath your jaw and lift your face back to his. “___, I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s no reason for you to be sorry.” 

“But, I still feel like I haven’t been- all that good to you...like you ha-have been to me. I… I don’t want you to think- that I don’t love you...or appreciate you,” you snivel, leaning back and away to wipe your eyes. 

A sense of deja vu clouds over him. He picks at his memories, trying to figure out why the sight of you kneeling beside him is so familiar. _ My dream. You talked to me like this and told me… _

“___…” Zen softens his voice even further. “Come here.” 

Clasping your wrists, he pulls your hands away from your face and brings them to where they belong. You hug around his neck and bury yourself into his shoulder. His arms wrap around your waist and twist you to sit in his lap. 

“___, look at me,” he coaxes over your weeping, unsticking your hair from your dampened cheeks. 

You angle your face up to his, the trouble in your pinkened gaze searing through him to his heart. 

“I hate to see you hurting,” he murmurs, stroking the skin along your hairline with his fingertips. “I’m also sorry… I never wanted you to feel like you had to do anything for me. All I ever hope for is that your love for me never fades, and my selfishness got away from me. I’m sorry about earlier if I hurt you, and even if I didn’t, I still wish I hadn’t behaved that way. Let me continue to be the man who makes you smile. Please?” 

Your expression turns bemused. “What did you do earlier? I don’t know what you mean.” 

“I was greedy. I wanted more of you than I was allowed to have, and I should have been more accepting of it, as hard as it was,” he admits as he wipes your tears for you. 

“Hyun,” you sniffle with a small laugh. “I don’t blame you for that, or anything at all. I told you to tone it down for a couple weeks, and you did just that. I can’t expect you to not do one of the things you love doing most and not flirt with me; especially on your birthday. I think that was kind of unfair on my part, and I should have been nicer about it.” 

“Well, if it’ll make you happy, I’ll hold off on it for two weeks more. Or, I’ll wait even longer until you say you’re ready. Don’t worry about me. I don’t want you to worry about anything while you recover,” he pledges. 

You chuckle and wipe at your nose. “You don’t have to do that. Umm… I actually kind of miss it.” 

“You miss it? My flirting?” he queries. 

“Mhm,” you nod and resituate yourself more upright in his arms. “I really miss it; a lot. I was thinking, while you were in the shower, that it might be good if I let you start flirting with me again.” 

His eyes light up. “Really? You mean it?” 

“Yep! I do!” you beam. 

He tightens his hold on you. “Oh, that makes me so happy!” 

You giggle and nuzzle into him. 

“It might seem funny, but I think the reason why we feel like we need to apologize to each other is because we’re both sexually frustrated,” you confer. 

“I think you might be right,” he agrees. “I do feel like I’ve been more touchy than usual.” 

You move your hands up into his locks and rest your forehead against his. “It also doesn’t help that my hormones are still up and down.” 

“Well, whether you’re hormonal or not, you’re still the cutest lady I know,” he reassures, easily slipping back to his roots. 

“Besides Mi-Yeong,” you happen to chime together. 

Giggling, you both share a knowing look. His eyes mirror yours and close. His head tilts in the direction yours doesn’t take. Like magnet and steel, his lips gravitate to yours and press, unwilling to budge unless forcefully pulled away. 

For what feels like minutes, your lips stay glued to one another’s. His emotions well within him with each passing second, and soon enough burst through that seal. 

“I love you...and I really missed you,” he whispers, pulling away just enough to peer into your eyes. 

“I love you, too. And also really missed you,” you return, giving him another kiss. 

A thought whizzes by and makes him chuckle. 

“Does this mean that kissing counts as flirting?” he smirks as he parts from your lips. “I need to know what all am I allowed to do with you.” 

You sit back and ponder for a moment. “Anything but vaginal penetration.” 

The air in his lungs leaves him. _ Is she serious? Don’t be joking. _

“You mean I can touch you again?” he asks, his hand already trailing up the back of your thigh to a cheek. 

“You can,” you simper. “But I think we should eat dinner first while it’s still warm. I think I did a pretty good job cooking it.” 

“You’re right! Gosh, how could I have forgotten?” he remarks as he snakes an arm beneath your knees. 

With little notice, he scoots forward and stands. You hug him tightly and squeal as he lifts you into his arms. 

Giving you a brief peck, he sets you down onto your feet and pets the top of your head. “Let me go change my pants real quick, and I’ll be right back out, okay?” 

“I completely forgot about your pants,” you state, twisting your head over your shoulder to look at your ass. “Is there any on me?” 

You flirtatiously lift your shirt to expose your underwear, and an inaudible growl rumbles his throat. 

“Hmm…” he hums, examining your curved flesh. “Nope!” 

He gives you a playful spank where his cum could have been, sending you scampering ahead of him around the sofa. 

“Zen! That was loud!” you laugh in a hush as you pause at the bedroom’s doorway. 

He snickers and follows you, soothing your bum with his palm. 

“I guess I’ll just have to kiss you there until we’re somewhere I can spank you again,” he winks. 

Your cheeks look aflame as you gawk up at him. “Well, hurry up and change your pants so you can do it sooner~” 

His heart bounds around in his chest. 

“You naughty girl. I love it when you flirt back,” Zen smiles. “I look forward to what you’ve cooked.” 

“I’ll fix you a plate. Get back soon,” you croon, standing on your toes to give him a smooch. 

“I will. You can count on it,” he vows as he gives a light peck to your forehead. 

Watching you turn and saunter away, he grasps the wooden frame of the door and swings himself into the dark bedroom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If some of you are confused as to how I wrote this chapter, here's the explanation behind it:  
> This chapter was about the sexual frustration that can occur after not being in contact for so long. Reader asked Zen to hold back for the first couple weeks to make things less tempting for her. Zen waited those two weeks and then some, and seeing that reader's mood was positive, he went for it. He knows he can't have sex with her yet, which is why he offered to stimulate her clit and not touch her vagina. Reader didn't feel like she'd be confident enough to resist vaginal stimulation, so she told Zen to back off again. If you've ever been in a close and long-term relationship with someone, you'll know that they'll try to convince you in whatever way they can, but not push hard enough to make you uncomfortable. At least that's how it is in my relationship. That's why Zen brought up her complaints about her tummy. He saw an opportunity to try to please both him and the reader (him getting to be intimate with her and she getting the orgasms to help her uterus contract back down faster, like she had been complaining to him about). If you though he was calling her fat, he wasn't. He thinks she's sexy, which he reminds her that he does shortly after.  
> Okay, so Zen retreats, but still keeps his hopes up like any guy would. He can't resolve things in the shower, it continues into his dream. In his dream, he subconsciously learns that he's being greedy. And when reader expresses her feelings with him after he wakes, he acknowledges it and apologizes. Both parties then come up with a solution to resolve their frustrations.  
> And if you can recall, in Zen's after end, he admits that they have small arguments here and there, but that it doesn't change how they feel about one another. So it's not entirely impossible for them to have a little bout like they did in this chapter. In my tags I have written that I'm taking a realistic approach with this fic. I don't want everything to be a perfect fantasy. I know in my heart and in some other's that we wish that these characters were real, so I want to bring them into reality as much as I can.  
> I hope this clarifies things in case I didn't write things simple enough to understand right away.


End file.
